Split personality????

Split personality..yea...maybe a minor one.as most of the people knows...im in my industrial training right now...working in this industry means that you have to smile all the time...'good morning', 'how are you today?', 'have a nice day'...yes..i have to say that everyday...like everyday...Smile and be friendly..you have to leave a good image of the hotel to the guest...so just smile although you are in a damn bad mood...even though i am having a real bad day, i still have to smile and act like i am okay...then after i leave my hotel, il be emo again..at first i thought that i was okay with this, but after one month...it really strikes me to the limit...i had cried a lot recently...a lot...i did not realize that it is not normal..until one day i cried...and brendan told me you were not like that last time..last time you were laughing all the time..now...you are crying all the time....SHIT!!! what the hell is wrong with me???? one conclusion...im stressing myself...i really have to admit that...i am so tired mentally and physically....

my recently training uniform...

Me in formal during the 1st day of my training....

This is my Soi23( restaurant ) uniform....

Thats my kitchen uniform...

my 2008 birthday

My 2008 birthday...it started quite well actually...most of my friends do remember to wish me..atleast those that really care about me...thx for remembring my birthday...Muakxx..love you guys..actually..i was a little bit disappointed..i was actually waiting for somebody to wish me...yea i know i have a boyfriend now, but it is normal to aspect somebody that was once so close to you to wish you right...i am not saying that i regret or whatsoever, but i just aspect him to be somebody to wish me in the first place...i thought he had forgotten..but around 6.33am in the morning, he did called me and i didn't manage to pick up that call because i was is wandering around in my dreams...after that, he did sms and wish me...he said that he thought that i was asleep and didnt want to wake me up..so he decided to called me the first thing in the morning...hmm...quite thoughtful actually..but too bad i was having my off on that day...As for Brendan...he did wish me and teman me for quite some time...after that we are off to bed...( dont think of anything inappropriate..we went back to our own room.haha.) i slept until around 11 in the morning...come on la..im working fro the whole week already, of course im tired..Then we went for breakfast and he went to his class..left me alone in the college..i went to the library and borrowed some books and then went home...did some laundry, mop my room etc...then i read my newspaper....PEOPLE..u tell me la..how pathetic can my birthday be by doing housechores and reading newspaper...BUT...he came back around 4 or something...he bought me a haagen daaz ice-cream cake..we did manage to eat s few spoons then he have to rush back to college..u know what i did after that...i played computer game...Star Craft...OH my god...then i spend around 30 min thinking of how pathetic my birthday can be..its really very poathethic im telling you...After mourning for my pathetic and sad day...i finally change and went for the badge 29 orientation night...because i dont want to spend the whole night thinking of how sad my birthday can be...so i decided to go to college and stay with the crowd...another reason...i want to be by his side...who doesnt want somebody that is so important to you to be by your side on your birthday???Then h sent me home...because he wanted me to open the present he bought for me...it was a HUGE bear for memory lane...my god..it is so freaking nice to hug man....LOVE ya baby...i know he did spend alot for my birthday...So...that's the end of my birthday.YUPE..that's the end...if you want to say surprise...i didnt really saw any surprise......all over....my birthday this year is kind of boring....minus the bear and the cake...MY CAKE....i did said we only manage to eat a few spoons right??? The cake melted when i came back from Seremban....Im like so freaking sad...because it is haagan Daaz cake....SAD....Honestly...my last year's birthday is still the best...it was full of surprises despite the fact that i was in NS....
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My update of my current life..

Well..im currently doing my industrial training in Pasific Regency now..what i can say now is..my life suckxx!!! Well..everyday im repeating my same old routine..wake up at 5.45 to get ready myself..then have to catch the 6.31 train..then have to walk to the monorail and take the train to Raja Chulan..After getting frozen in the monorail..i have to walk for ten min to reach my hotel..change to my uniform..then start my shift at 8..breakfast service until 10.30..then mise en place for lunch service...break..then lunch service,,,dinner mise en place..finish work..go home..soooo..basicly im doing it every single day except for my off day..how sad is that????? HOW SAD!!!!yea..i know everybody have to go through this..its normal if you want to work in this industry..i understand that..im just tired...i have to stand for 8 hours straight..what's worst is on the first day of my training..i wore the heels i just bought from NOSE..and OH MY GOD!!!! it really did killed my foot!!! i wore it for two days and i have blister here and there..my skin actually did peel off and got puss after a few days..and guess what..i still have to stand for 8 hours although my feet is like killing me..i got so pissed and i went to Swank and bought a 90 bucks heels..the normal price is 200 bucks!!! HOA,,,but it is really comfortable..sooo..just spend a bit..well..my leg is recovering right now..lucky..well..felt like damm sad because my birthday is just like two weeks away..and i think i have to work on that day..brendan have to be at the orientation night because he is the commitee or something..that will take him the whole night..soooo...and im in KL..cnt celebrate with family..boyfriend..friends in seremban..KL o training..its just sooooo sad...every year it has to be like that..i can the best was last year..yea..last year..i was really surprise..like REALLY surprise.alot of things happened on that day and i dare to say that il never forget that..hmm..but this year..HAIZ...HAIZ..actually i was really looking forward to it..but the reality is..just forget about it..its just a birthday,,nothing much..ya right..im just trying to ease my pain a little bit..oh ya..my Chinese New Year is going to suckx as well..really sucks..i think il only have two days off which suckx to the max!!!ish,,but i cant really do anything right???haiz..ohya..and my valentines..what the hell...il be in the kitchen..and was informed that we will be like super busy..shift from 7am to 8pm..what the hell...its just suckxx la..everything just got stucked because im in training..ish...well..i really fo hope that ill get through this and be back in college as soon as possible..hmm...