Busy life

Ive got TONNES TO DO!!!!

Monday- Bartender, English test, Beverage Report

Tuesday- French Presentation

Wednesday- Sales and Marketing Assignment due date and assesment

Saturday-Part time in Eastin Hotel

14 June-Malaysian Studies exam

16 June-FnB, Econs and Accounting

17 June-Sales and Marketing

19 June- French

20 June- English

30 June- TRAINING!!!!!

So tell me...im so freaking busy now..am i happy..NO..hell no..i just wanna lie on my bed and sleep...watching tv..and eat...

by the way..i cant go back to seremban in like 3 whole weeks..which means i have to save my money...and i cant see someone for THREE WHOLE WEEKSSSSS!!! okay..im so going to stress out soon..sooo...save me people!!!

earlybird in a bad mood

im SLEEPY!!!!

i merely slept yesterday..

was caught up with they started with kiss 2 and American Next Top Model Cycle 10...

and i manage to finishing typing my French Assignment...

which is a miracle..

and im so lazy to check again the whole thing because i know that is the best i can do..

so..byebye FRENCH!!!

and hello Econs..Sales and Marketing..English Test..FnB report..

and im the bar tender next week..

which i regret to the max..

because i realize there are tonnes to do...

i ought to make two mocktails..

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Kind of pissed because i have to wake up early for the food science thingy..

came to college and realize that the stupid TV is spoilt..

...wtf...

stupid...

wednesday get away

okay..this is my first encounter with Klang's Bak Kut Teh...

After our Malaysian Studies class..

We crazy people suddenly decided to go to Klang and eat Bak Kut Teh...

I was saying that i want to eat Bak Kut Teh ever since the starting of the term 4...

and i finally got to eat the most famous Bak Kut Teh yesterday...

yum yum..i was freaking hungry at that time lo..

you know what is eat until the clay pot berkilat?? This is BERKILAT!!!

Look at our clay pot la..Totally swept clean..until it shines..haha..so you can imagine how nice the Bak Kut Teh is..keke..

Okie..here's our crazy friends..(From the right)..the ever crazy dai lou.. who can go until the end of the world to eat good food..PIPI..who will never be photogenic..keke..sorry ar pipi..and our wayne wayne..who is posing nicely for the cam..

Honestly..i was quite fascinated with this kettle..i never saw this thing in my whole life..it is so ancient..and i love it..keke..

After filling my stomach with rice which i never touch since ages ago..we went to Red Box for karaoke!!! muahaha..time to sing..and my hands are damn itchy lo..but still not enough for me lo..gonna stop by another day..to sing until i loose my voice..muakaka..

cat, diny me and hui..

Crap 2

Well..What that happened between me and my EX housemate was just plain lame..Firstly..if she is really not happy with me..fine lo..you dont have to be friend with me..i dont even care if she is not my friend..after knowing her true color..it is just plain stupid to care about her..so what the hell...You dont have to do so many things to show your protest to me...Taking people's property = stealing...Do you know that??? i dont really know what happened between her, uncle and the college...but...it is her own fault for everything to turn out that way...nobody ask her to be so freaking stubborn and not to give in...SO...Dont blame me for what you did to yourself!!!!!!

I know because of my problem with her...alot of people hate me...and i dont give a damn..it is just that it will be hard for me to communicate with them...well..i dont have to force myself to be friend with people who already had their mind set that im a Bitch!! so..just forget about it...no point forcing myself to talk and smile to them...because it is just plain pointless...

okie..im done with her...just dont step on my tail anymore..im not as weak as before..bear in mind of that..sometimes il fall..but il stand up again..nobody can bring me down..NOBODY!!!! okie..CHILL...haha...take a deep breathe...okie..im cool..

Crap 1

Since i have the time of the world now..so..im going to write...WRITE is the way to burn all my time now..haha...When you are bored..you will have alot of things to crap on..sorry if im too long winded or anything..honestly speaking..i dont really aspect anybody to read word by word...sometimes il read back and thinking why am i so dumb..haha..why did i wrote all those...it is totally crap...Well..crap is another thing that im real good in now..keke..

These few days..some people are really into the 'Blox' game in my phone..For those who dont know what is that..it is a stacking up blocks game..you have to stack up as high as you can to break the high score..well..you can even stack up until Venus as Hui said..haha..because SHE..broke all my records and reached until Almost 7000..what the hell..my score is only 2000+..haha..im not happy lo..joking only...actually it is real simple game..but i dont know why you will just get addicted to it...im serious..try playing it...and you will know why...

Ohya..forgot to blog about what had happened to me last week..one of the incident that im real proud of myself..if you had been reading my blog all the while..you will know that i had problem with my EX room mate...soo...that day..i was busy with my English assignment in the Student Lounge...she came to me..( in canto )..i cant really remember what she said..but something as below------

'You ate and full ady hor?? so can we talk now?'
( asking me to leave my friends and talk to her PERSONALLY..ofcourse i wont be so stupid and go with her...she will screwd me again lo...like i will fall into her trap...so to hell..mind my english..but im really pissed with her...)

' No wor..im busy now..'

' NOW..college come and gao me...uncle ( Brendan's dad ) come and gao me..if like that il gao you.'

' This thing has nothing to do with me.so dont blame me for nothing.'

' Yea right..then how they know my ID number.'

' i did not told them lo. I aso dont know you ID number.'

' It is all listed down in the Industrial Training Placement List..you said you don't know.'

'i really dont know.'

' You can ask your friend mer..i though you very friend with Carmen.'

'I did not ask her ..she is there only mar..go and ask her yourself.' ( Carmen was damn scare as well..keke)

'..... then how they know...'

' You think that college so big they cant go and find out ar?'

'.....' ' im just here to tell you..later 12.30 we will be meeting at the student service centre..the third person is also there...if you want to come you can come'

Then..she walked away with a damn pissed look..keke..honestly speaking..that time i was shaking..i did not aspect her to come to me..but after i calm down..i realize that i actually did not cry and stand up for my self...WAKAKA.. im damn happy lo..keke...im really proud of myself at that point..

Im bored!!!!

IM BOREDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHH!!!!!

Im bored..it is a Borrring Tuesday..maybe because today i did not go for fine dining..thats im so freaking bored now...

i seriously dont know what to do....

reach home...im alone...

go facebook..friendster..blog...

THEN????

do what???

ISHISHISH!!!!

Maybe i should go to youtube and watch something...

or go and do my assignment...

BUT..i seriouslly dont like to be sooooo freaking free like now lo..

its like im so useless and my life is so boring...

somebody just tell me how to make my life meaningful le..

ish

BORING!!!!!!!

A small little update

Just finished my damn Malaysian Studies Video..okie..done and bye bye...really driving me nuts la that video..now i know why i cant be a movie director..cz i just suck in all these..haha...IM GLAD..bye bye Malaysian Studies...and hello Economic, food science and marketing...FRENCH...all those unfinished and untouched assignments...ARGHHHH.....

Well...actually there should be something that i should tell everyone...BUT..i dont have time to blog about it...AND...i dont know whether i should tell everyone about it...because definitely il get alot and alot of scolding from the whole world...but people started to spread rumours here and there..some already can guess...because they know me too well...soo...im back with Brendan..OKIE...STOP SCOLDING ME..haha...i know this and i know that...yes...i should not do that..yes...why am i so stupid...yes...im too soft hearted already...yes...im too studborn..yes..im the most idiot and blind person in this whole universe..OKIE..enough!!!! haha...well..maybe i am really blind...why am i putting so much of energy on this guy...why did i gave him soooooo many chances...why i this and that..the answer is 'i dunoe'. im serious..i know i should just end it there and start off with my new life...but...

when he told me that he can not give up on me..and saying that he can not let me go..i know that he is serious...he holded my hands damn tightly at that time...then he asked whether i can accept him back...as far as i know him..when he said that..he really meant it...and i just got soft hearted....i know im just pure dumb..but...what to do...i still gave him another chance..maybe i will still give him chances in the future...because i know that both of us are learning to be with each other...we are still finding ourselves in this 'love' thingy. it is normal to make some mistakes here and there...it is just the matter of time...for us to overcome all the obstacles...sooo...im just giving us another shot...a chance to learn from our mistakes and stand up again...

soo...im hoping for the best this time...and cross my fingers that we will be able to make it through...

my stuffed life

okie...i have to go back to KL in like a few more hours..and im scare...WHY..because when i go back..ASSIGNMENTS!!! Malaysian Studies...then my practical worksheet..might have the stupid liquor and liquer thingy which im totally nob in it...and still got damn alot of assignments waiting for me to finish...DAMN..

im like so stuffed and screwded up in KL...alot to do..so many things..but so little time..then il be lonely at home in KL for one whole month...which just sucks to the max..because il have nobody to talk to..and just alone in my four wall room..facing the fan and the comp..eeee...just plain lonely..thats why im scare to go back to KL this week..then il be totally stress out because of the finals...then il have one week break which is totally not enough...THEN--------

TRAINING AGAIN!!!!!!!

for two months...

okie..il be having split shifts everyday single day...

maybe no salary...

SUCKSS..

then...the stupid KTM and monorail which will cost me atleast 200 every month...

haiy..

i cant WAIT for my training...

i just hope that everything will be better for me from now on..

and nothing bad or anything will happen AGAIN..

Grumpy

okie..so this is how i look now...grumpy!!!!!

WHY??because of the freaking Malaysia Studies video..

DAMN IT!!!!

it is like so freaking hard to DO...

the naration...music...the pictures..the stupid time line..

then the subtitle or whatever you call it..

ARGHHH...

Okie..cool down..im alright...

there are tonnes to do and so little time...

and im super duper nob in IT stuffs..so im screwd..

in and out..

gosh..it is hard to breathe now..what the hell...

i just hope that i can finish it on time..and produce something that can be WATCH...

cross my fingers...

PEOPLE..please pray for me..

thanks a bunch..

Happy Birthday

Went back to Seremban this weekend..

Firstly..its my dad's birthday..then its BBQ at wendy's house to celebrate Jen Wei's birthday...

Gosh...it has been ages since i BBQ chicken wing, fishballs, hotdogs and corn..:)..

i LOVE it...

though it is freaking hot and hot...

and i MISS MY FRIENDS...

gosh..

and im sorry for a little miscommunication due to TOO many things happened for the past two weeks...

sorry that i did not tell you guys what happened...

next time il make sure il tell you all at the first place..

love all of you..muakxx..

hehe..im like the birthday girl aint i??haha..because of that..they ask for a retake..

nah..that's the real birthday girl-jen wei..not me..keke..

so long

Just came back from seremban..after my ah ma's funeral...what i have to say is..everything is just so tiring...exhausted...Just after i came back from KL yesterday..i have to rush to my grandma's house for the praying ceremony..which require's us( me and my bro) to wear the blue suit..this is what i call it..because it is plain blue..then we have to pray..kneel down..listen to some enchanment again and again...well..i seriously not feeling like talking about the ceremony...

Well..my ah ma passed away because of kidney's failure...she had diabetes ( penyakit kenving manis) for quite some time..and high blood pressure..which i did not know..and she refused to go to hospital for check up..everytime my aunt wanted to bring her for medical checkup..she refused to..and she will argue with my aunt..and that's the cause for her kidney failure...SOoo..people out there..please go for check up if your realize something is wrong...dont be afraid to know the results..if not..it will be too late...

What i regret the most is...ay aunt told me that even before my ah ma took her last breathe..she asked my mom not to scold us so often..and ask me to come back to seremban often..because it is very hard for her to see me nowadays...when i heard of that..i just broke down...because i realize how long i did not see my ah ma..im really sorry..i promise her that i will go home often...

From down right of the picture...that is my ah ma...then my aunt..my gong gong..and my uncle..

this would be my gong gong...i remember i put his before in my blog..but i just feel like putting again..because my gong gong is very very tough..i really salute him..and respect him...i promised ah ma i will go back often from now on...and i will go and see gong gong more often...

this i promise you...

rest in peace ah ma...

we will take care of gong gong..

and we will take care of ourselves..

past and present

Life can be so random..everything can change in a sudden..i don't know what will happen when i go back to seremban tomorrow..wednesday would be worst...i scare i will cry again...

My popo passed away when i was in 7 years old..that time..i was still young and naive..and i couldnt really remember what had happened. i knew that she was sick and needs to see doctor frequently..i even went to the clinic with her..Then..after some time..popo have to stay in hospital already...but i was still young...i dont really know much..then there was one day...everyone went to the hospital...then i still remember i have to squeeze the water into her mouth because she was not able to drink by herself..then she even fed me something to eat...Then..i don't know how..she passed away...

I remember a lot of people came and pay their respect to my popo...a lot of rituals were being performed...then i remember i stare at popo for very long...wonder why is she lying in the coffin...then i realize she moved a bit..i quickly called my dad and said 'popo havent die..she moved..faster bring her out..' then my dad pulled me away and said soemthing to me...which i cnt remember...that was like 12 years ago...

i hope il be strong this time..strong enough to not cry infront of everyone...

sad and just plain sad

Just when i thought i can get everything back in order..something has to happen...

My grandama had passed away this afternoon..

i was shocked when my brother sms me..because i did not know my grandma went to penang with my mom and aunt...i only know they will be back today...then this news came to me..in a sudden..i was just shock and stare at my phone...luckily Brendan was here...i started to cry...because i realize that it was my ah ma that had brought me up all these years who passed away..not some nobody...she is my grandmother...

the one that always nag me for not doing the houschores..the one that always call and ask me whether i ate already ornt..the one that always call me and ask out whole family to go to her house and eat har mee ( home made noodle..my ah ma's specialty )..the one who always cook food for me and my brother whenever my mom is not around..the one that will tapao breakfast for my and my bro..the one that always ask me when am i coming back from KL..the one that always sad when im saying i wnt be coming back...

now only i remember since when is the last time i saw my grandma...it was long long time ago...maybe last month..when i came home and we went and eat steamboat..that was the last time i saw her...i miss my grandma very much..i really miss her...

but now..i cant see her already...i cant even see her for the last time...

SHIT...im crying like hell now...

Ah ma...sorry for not coming home that frequent...sorry for not listening to you at times...sorry for everything...

thanks for taking care of me, ah liang, ah jun and ah xiong since we were small..

thanks for defending us when mama scold us for nothing...

thanks for cooking for us..

thanks for everything...

May you rest in peace now...

i love u...ah ma...

and i miss you

A person to respect

Mosquitoes are eating me alive right now..i just hate the mosquitoes in seremban!! damn iritating..nothing much happen to me..you know..it is seremban...like patrick daya said..'it is a quiet place..it is good to relax your mind..not much entertainment at night..which is good..' i totally agree with sir..then he asked me..what am i going to do at home..i said..il finish my assignment?? and watch tv?? haha..then he said sarcastically that i would definitely watch tv and do nothing else...we'll see...haha

Funny thing is..he sms me at 11 something..and ask me to stop watching tv and go and sleep..the truth is..i am watching tv..haha..caught me...FINE...you win...then today..he sms me in the afternoon..and ask me to stop watching tv..haha...Caught me again...BUT..this time..i was doing my assignment infront of the tv...so?? told him that..and he called me..haha...ask me to do my work la..bla bla bla..well..he is a very caring lecturer..OR..he got nothing better to do..haha..sorry la sir..you taught me well to be sarcastic..

Honestly speaking..though he likes to talk alot..damn sarcastic at time..

BUT..

i really do respect him...

and..

thanks for everything that you had done for us..

i really do appreciate it..

muakxx

fakers

today..i manage to update my brother about my life in KL..he was actually more matured than what i thought he is..totally blown me away..haha..oh yeah..i want to talk about fakers AGAIN..yeah..ive been always talking about fakers..because i met quite a few..though i dont really knew them..but one thing...they are just pure fakers..

There are many many types of girls...dangerous and safe ones..sexy and innocent..with attitute and cute ones...i dont categorize myself in any of them..not to say i dont have any personality..but...i just don't fit into any..YES..girls are dangerous..some of them..not every..the most dangerous ones are those who are exstremely innocent..always so call gentle...so call understand how you felt...stare into your eyes and felt your soul..use their beauty or whatever to steal your heart..CRAP...all crap...these are profesional faker..pure faker..not everyone is like that...but...i dare to say..there are people like that out there...

Normally..i said..NORMALLY...guys are blind..sorry to those who were offended..they can just easily fell into a girl's charm..come on..open up your eyes and look into her real person inside...not just the surface...Some girls are loud and speak out whatever that is in their mind..their emotions are all printed on their face...i think that is good lo..better than faking everything outside and inside is full of rage and harted..am i correct??? i really salute those girsl who are like that..i respect them alot..i really do..frankly..i have a few friends who were like that..and i totally felt free around them..atleast i know that they are true to me..that is what i need from my friends...not those fakers who are forever good to you..and when they turn their back..you will see their true colours...

for guys...there are many many types of guys as well..gaming type..only short relationship type..plenty..same like girls..some you won't know their true colours until they reveal it to you..which will takes century to find out about that...

im a simple person..everyting is written on my face..you will know when im lying..because i just suck in it..i dont have to fake myself to like people that i dont like...useless and pointless...what for i make myself miserable just to please those which i hate..i rather choose to ignore them and move on with my life..life still goes on though they are not my friend anymore..

shame on you

Today when i was in the KTM..i was damn pissed with a malay girl..WHY?? simply because she did not give away to a chinese old man which cant even stand probably..and she just stare at him..and slept...what the hell..if i am brave enough..il just go to her and say 'are you blind?? cant you see there is an old man standing right infront of you..how can you be so selfish and ignorant..'

Malaysian are like that..ignorant and selfish..come on...you just have to stand for a while and that poor old man can sit down with his wife..BUT..YOU..you have to let this poor old man stand throughout the whole journey...shame one you..

ON the bright side..there was one old malay lady sitting at one corner..i cnt really what she is mumbling..and she doesnt look like she is asking for money..then..one malay lady handed this old lady her coke...and gave her some money..well..this should be the way..we help each other out...malaysian should really look into the mirror and think again..shame..memalukan...

back in seremban

Im back in Seremban..went back all alone..and i actually felt quite relief..to be alone..haha..walking to the ktm station alone..then went and eat beef noodle which cost me RM6 bucks per bowl..what the heck??? then sat in the bus alone...alone alone and alone...im not complaining..SERIOUS..haha..im happy actually..finally i felt like me again...

Then when im home..i sang damn loudly in my parents room before i took my short nap..which i always like to do last time....haha..guess it is a way of releashing whatever that is bothering me???i finally went to get my spec..cost me 190 for a frameless spec..not very expensive..but then heart pain ar..haha..AND..i have to wait for one week...what the hell???

have to wait then...

hmm hmm

Going back to Seremban

Ive finally decided to go back to Seremban...Wakaka

took me 15 min to consider that..

quite slow..

but nevermind...

PEOPLE in KL..miss me ya..keke...

il be back on monday to finish off my malaysian studies assignment...

YEAH...

Addicted to 'cha jian er guo' by li sheng jie...

'tui hou' by jay chow...

Going off now la...

tata..take care KL...

Grumbling

Damn econs..ish...screwd it...

Arghh....

studied..BUT..something just wrong with me..

and im keep doing some silly mistakes..

arghh..just forget about it...

This is going to be a Booooring weeked..

until now..i have no plans..

what the heck???

My dear wayne wanted to wake me up at 7AM tomorrow to watch his game war..

7AM le...il still be sleeping dead on my bed lo at tat time..haha..

sorry la wayne...ohya..pls dun call me at 7AM..haha

Guess il be stucked infront of my comp and finishing all my assignments..

ishish...still got damn alot to do lo...

arghh...

luckily monday got holiday...

yahoooo..no SERVICE....!!! but then got english presentation ar the next day...

AND..we have to sing during teacher's day..

FRENCH SONG people!!!!

infront of all those teachers...

since when we still celebrate teacher's day??

haha

im happy but i look sad??

Today..

im happy...

alot of things had happened these few days..

some sad..some crazy and some really drove me away...

feeling a bit numb..

because of my emotional roller coaster..

i am happy...

but sometimes i just tend to stare at the ceiling and dream

people might think that i am still sad because of what had happened..

but the truth is..

im not...

maybe because i had cried too much and sank into misery..

and now.. i dont know how to pull myself back together..

though im HAPPY..

weird huh??

Miracle had happened to me yesterday..

though i totally did not expected it..

but i am really very happy..and grateful..

happy that the miracle had finally came to me...

i dont know what will happen in the future..

but i just pray that i will stay happy and happy..

that's all...

To every single loving couple out there..

tell your partner that you really love he/she...

tell them that no matter what happen in the future..

you will always be part of my life and soul...

hoA!! haha..im really good in this..

praise me..thankyou...keke..im joking people...

Screwd life

Feeling a bit awkward these few days..really awkward..i know i should have walk out from the shadow already..but..something just seems to be not right..we are still close to each other..if we are not..then i would definitely be damn depress..but now we are..in the same time..if we are still like that..will i be able to pull myself together???

That's the problem..i don't know what i should do and what i should not do..DAMN..im so screwd..and now..until today..i felt damn stress and can not breath..maybe because of my break up...plus assesments..plus DAMN alot of assignment to pass up in the next 2 weeks..urghhhhhh

i really feeling like screaming out loud and release all the anger and frusfration in my heart now...AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!1

life is just suckxxx

the break up song...

it is over..really over...

telling myself that i have to be strong...

Strong enough to smile when i face the wolrd...

but my world has fallen aprt...

broken into million pieces...

how to mend it back???

When there is no sms from him...

when the things that is happening around him just is not part of me anymore...

when thinking about him just shouldnt happen anymore...

when holiding his hand and hugging him can not happen anymore...

when everything has changed...

can i take it so easily??

can i accept the fact that we are only friends....

but no longer soul mates...

all the promises..

saying that he wont let me go...

everything that he said...

was printed in my heart..

but when this momment came...

left nothing in my heart rather than emptiness and loneliness

i shall go through this...

i shall learn how to walk again...

i shall be strong and tough...

and never look back again...

Can we still be friends???

yes..we can...

maybe my best friend ever..

but there is a barrier between us...

because he was once so close to me...

and now...he is nothing but a friend to me...

i am hurt...

everything seems to be falling apart for me..

just when im happy again...

this has to happen...

though i knew from the begining that this might be a mistake..

but i took the risk...

closing my ears to the world around me...

giving us chance again and again..

but until now..this momment...

i knew that we were not meant to be together...

i have a life to live...

i have to start everything from scratch...

and learn how to take baby steps once again...

the difference is...

this time he wouldnt be a part of it anymore...

Maybe someday i will meet somebody that treats me way better than he does

Maybe someday he will realize that i am good...

Maybe someday....he will turn back and say...

i am sorry for letting you go...

this is my break up song...

the end of me and him....

endless night

yes...it is the end of our relationship...all out of sudden...ofcourse there would be tears and alot of tears...swollten eyes...shakky hands and everything..BUT...il be strong and i will stand up again...

i had learned alot from this relationship.really a lot...from here...i know who are my friends who are always there for me...who will always listen to me though i was constantly having a lot of trouble...because of you all..i am still standing here...because of you all...i am still zhi lin...that i am really grateful...why am i talking like i am writting my own will???haha..CHOI...touch wood...

For Brendan...i know that it is not all your fault...and i can't blame everything on you...yes...i was hurt many many many times...though i know our ending would be like this...but i just can't face the reality...when it really reach until the stage when we couldnt go any further...i know that it is the time to end it...yes...i am very sad and tears just can't stop when i am writting this...but...no matter what it is...i still have to face the fact...that we are no longer couples...that you are just my best friend...yes...you will always be somebody that is important to me...i thank you for everything that you had taught me...from you...i had really learned a lot...it was a fun and yet a scary ride...thanks for all the good memories that you had given me...and sorry for all the troubles that i had cause you...wish you can read this..though i know you wouldnt...

i dont know how long will it takes for me to stand up again...but i will...definitely...when i deleted our pictures from my friendster profile...all our memories that we had together all came back to me..from the begining until now...today...11 of may 2008...haha..we couldnt make it until our aniverssary next month...25th june...but what can i say...it is our destiny to end it here...so....we still love each other as friends..and we will always do...

for all my friends out there...sorry not listening to all of you...and i took so long to realize what truth...im really relieved that it was over...atleast he does not have to be my burden anymore...soo...im okay..i am fine...i am not crying now...seriously...so...wish me luck...wish me luck in finding a better person in the future...

don't know why i had this feeling that i am scare to fall in love again....

My so-call nightmare

im a crazy fella..haha...just now only i said im lazy to write..but when i started to write..i cant stop..what the...okie..i want to share about the nightmare i had last night...well..as you guys know..we can only remember parts and parts of our dreams..sometimes..not even a single thing...so...here goes nothing----

Alex appeared from no where
and we kissed..which i dislike

Then my friend ( Brendan's EX first love) appeared in my apartment in Mentari
i got mad because Brendan allowed her in and let her sleep in my room
PISSED..( in my dreams la..haha)
Then don't know why..she was sleeping in the same bed as me and Brendan..
which raise my pissiness to the max..
and i think i yell at Brendan..
and He was like ' there's nothing wrong'
i got so mad and i ran out of the room..

Then..we went for some Japanese Buffet..

So that is my dream..and yar..my nightmare..but i know i got really pissed in my dreams..probably i did kick or slap Brendan..i don't know..haha..MAYBE...People said dreams represent something in reality...which i totally agree..because there were a few times my dream appeared in the reality...BUT...this dream would NEVER EVER appear in the reality..haha..better not..if not..il start to throw my tantrums everywhere..haha..

It is normal because i dream about this friend of mine..but alex??? and we were kissing?? weird..haha..maybe i just miss him too much...people..i did not see him for like more than one year already..it is normal to miss somebody who were once so close to you right?? which reminds me about his birthday which is coming soon..25/5..should i get something for him?? let me think first...keke..

Packed and Stuffed

Recently im lazy to write blog la..haha...Got tonnes and tonnes of things to do lo...every subject also got assignments to do...and none of them are easy lo..ishish...and next week full of assessments..okay..let me see how many things i need to finish in this week ar...here goes my nightmare-------

Next week
Cost of accounting assessment
Food Science assessment
Malaysian Study assessment
Econs assessment

Restaurant tech assesment

Three weeks from now
(assignments to past up)
Malaysian studies video ( partially done)
Restaurant Tech restaurant proposal ( havent touch )
English Advertisement ( only discussion )
French essay ( lecturer havent explain, so not our fault)
Sales and Marketing ( last minute only do )

okie...looks little but do you know how much of brain storming requires..arr...just GG.com la...Today..we just finished our food science assignment..at first we thought we cant do because the stupid malay lady told us the dvd spoil ady...aiya..lazy to do then just quit la...nothing wrong also..luckily we stayed there to finish our 'kuih'...(yar..we ate in library..so what..haha), if not...we really die tomorrow..because we did not complete that stupid HACCP paper...

These few days we were constantly watching videos..i don't know why..haha..last week we watch the sales video..which is lame to the max...and NOW we have to do assignment according to that...Then yesterday we watched a French movie---wasabi...which is quite interesting and funny...but the only word i understand is 'oui-yes', 'et vous- and you', and 'bonjour-good morning/ good afternoon'..that's all..they talked like so damn fast..do you think i can understand??? Then this morning...we watched ' Embun'...it was about Japanese occupation...boring also lo..you know why??? she skipped all the interesting part..'interesting=something 18sx'..haha..everyone was waiting for that lo...During our restaurant tech class..we watched something to do with room service...which is a damn ancient video..haha...we were like...'walau..the technology so canggih lo'..Then...me, Diny, wayne and sui ren darling were forced to go to library and watch the HACCP video...BOOOooring...

Conclusion is..my life is getting more intense for this month...which is freaking boring..haha...everything is assignment and assignment..nothing else...really no life man..no life..ohya..talking about no life..i remember tomorrow we are going to Murni to eat and take picture for our Malaysia study assignment...Of course our main purpose it to eat...haha...and next Wednesday we are going to Putra jaya...for our video shooting...hmm..should be quite interesting...so cross my fingers...

After that incident

The next day after what had happened..it was Labour Day...so..i slept like a pig until 11 something...luckily i did not had any nightmare because of her..thank god and god bless me..haha..Then Brendan's dad went back to Seremban to settle something..his brother went out for movie..so...the house is empty..yeah..finally can spend some time with him..

We went to Mid Valley in the noon..he is driving..and we were not really sure about the roads in KL...soo...kind of worried..but we made it there..keke..BUT..the parking was just so horrible..it was packed like hell...we took like 30 min just to get a car park space..i swear im not driving on Labour Day to Mid Valley anymore...We walked..he bought his favorite comic and CD..as usual..i did not buy anything..we eat..haha..normal la..what else to do ar..haha..Then we went home because his dad came back and wanted to use the car..

The highlight of this post is not how i spend my time with Brendan..BUT..what that happened after that...i went up first because Brendan wanted to wait for his dad..Then i went to my room and on the comp...like usual...THE..Brendan sms me and told me that Brendan's dad caught up with her in the lift..HOA!!!! war ar..i was DAMN scare lo..because i am scare that she will crap to uncle...and He will believe what she said..i was like chatting to Dolores and worrying like hell...ask her what to do and what to say..

Then i chat with him...and he told me what the problem is all about ------ MONEY..yes..in this world of materialistic..everything is money money and money...there were some miscommunication here and there..and they did not voiced out..therefore lead to a lot of misunderstanding and hatred..to ME..yes me...i know..i did some mistakes as well..because it was my first time renting a whole apartment..you cant aspect me to know everything..i am not perfect...and i will make mistake..if you don't tell me what is the problem in the first place..how the hell i will know??? so..everything is settled between me and him...no hard feelings..but friend?? i am sorry to say..but hard...

Then...Brendan's dad came home and wanted to talk to me..i was DAMN scare...because i have zero idea what he will ask me...then.. he started to tell me that he met her in the lift..and everything...i know i am going to cry...and i did cry...because i felt like it was freaking unfair for me lo...the whole world is putting the blame on me...i have to face each and everyone of them in college...from their face..i can see that they hated me..and i don't think i deserved to be cursed in that way...so...i just cried...in front of Brendan's dad...it is like damn pai seh right??? Then he started to give me advice and everything...like a teacher and dad..and im still crying...until jervin came back...

it is embarrassing enough to cry in front of my friends..and lecturer (Sir Patrick saw me and he did called and ask how am i doing..how sweet of him..haha)..and now..infront of BRENDAN'S father...i must have look like some really weak girl in his eyes..haha...sometimes..it is just hard to control your feelings...especially to elders..you cant hide anything from them...

My conclusion is...people like this..do not deserve your tears and respect..i don't have to gain their trust nor respect or whatever..i don't have to be nice to them or to treat them good...they just don't deserve it...so..my life goes on..i will be happy...and i will still be me...But of course..i would not repeat the same mistake as before...To my friends who are really sincere and help me through this..i am really grateful that you guys are my friends...and thanks for being there for me...Friends rocks..and to all those jerks out there..( not specifically pointing at that person only...to ALL the jerks out there), find something better to do in your life and stop making your life that miserable and meaningless..and i AM being sarcastic here..i pity you.....

Thoughts after wednesday's incident

These few days..a lot of things had happened to me...most of my friends knew what had happened already...so i decided to delete the previous post..WHY?? because that time i was filled with anger and might be a little bit irrational at the same time..therefore..there were things that i should not say...but..il update a little bit in this new post...

After that day when i was screwed like nobody's business, i was really being unsure of myself...kind of doubting my own personality..whether i am the problem one...i did sms and tell Brendan about what had happened..he actually screwed me again..which lead me into deeper frustration...

He told me millions and billions times before, stand up for myself, don't let anyone to provoke me and lead me into misery. He also ask me not to cry because of this...they are perverts and don't deserve my tears...

And yet..i still don't listen..

i was sulking at that time, in another words..crying when he asked whether i am okay or not...i can see that he was worried and yet frustrated at the same time... But he cant do anything..he has to rush for church...Then..i called Alex and talk to him for quite some time...i don't know whether it is a habit or not..but i just feel like talking to him at that time...i actually did feel way better after talking to him...To me...he is not just my ex..but my very true and understanding friend...

Conclusion to this post is...no matter what had happened to me on Wednesday...i am perfectly fine and happy...i am really very glad that there are many people who were there for me...listening to my mumbling and a lot of cursing at the same time..aha..Thanks for your concerns...i am fine..very fine...