Monday blues again

YEA!!!..my mum and my aunty is coming over to Elcerdo tomorrow..im freaking DAMN happy about it..yeah!!!..well.not that i did not see them for like ages and years..but i actually miss my family..hmm...kind of sad actually..haha..but nevermind..il see them tomorrow..hopefully my mum wont complain that the bill is high..i told them already that my restaurant is not that cheap..

Anyway..somebody said i actually look fresh today..YES..i do feel fresh..muakaka..just that i woke up from my sorrowness already..haha..no point hanging on the wall when everything is just not going the way it should be..no point hanging to someone who's heart is not with you anymore..

he always says that im important and special to him..dadada..but you see..once we broke up already..he change his profile picture in facebook..into the picture he took with florence..not trying to be jealous or what here..last time..he dont even want to put our pictures..he said his dad got facebook..so he might see it..So now what??his dad cancel his account?? he even put that picture of his with florence as his hp wallpaper..when did he ever put our picture?? maybe once..then he took it off..Well..i cant be angry you see..why should i be angry..im just dissapointed..dissapointed because i realize how much i meant to him..Maybe im not even as big as a pea in his heart..im starting to get tired..tired of thinking how important am i to him..tired of wondering if he ever thinks for me..BAH..who cares now..just forget about it..

well..today..im seriously feeling alot more better..better in a way that i dont really think about him anymore..atleast not as much as last time...so im healing slowly..and im happier..hehe!!!

Sex and the City!!!

okay..today i watched SEX AND THE CITY..

its freaking nice wei..i damn love it lo..i did not know that it will be that funny..and yet..emotional at the same time...well..some scene did actually hits me..and sets me into thinking alot...not trying to be emo..but..i some how feel like this movie can connects to me..HMMmm..there are a few things that i realize in this movie--------

1. Be yourself

2. Forgiveness

3. Friends are important

somehow i just want to tell myself that i have to get back my life back..i have to find myself back..not the one that i want myself to change in order to make him happy..not the one that please the whole world..i just want to be myself..AGAIN..maybe it is not that easy this time..because i had just lost myself for a long long time..i just want to be happy again..

i almost cried again today..because i did something really stupid..then i realize that im freaking lonely..crap..but..you know what..i have to get back on myself..nobody else cn help me to...Ray said i look quite happy for a person who just broke up..hey friend..i cant be mourning for my sorrowness like forever right??? trying to stand up by myself..and dont cry anymore..i had shed enough tears for him already..no more..no more..

anyway..i gotta go to bed now..tired fo everything..haha..physically tired..mentally exhausted..and i got to get back to work tommorow..damn it..anyway..to my dear sui ren out there..well..dont be so worried yea..things will turn out to be fine in some way..il be always there for u..haha..you were there for me when im down..and im always down..sooo...just be happy k???

i still believe in love

and i will always do...

DAMN DAMN

sorry people..not that i dowan to update..i got lots and lots to tell..but my idiotic comp have to stop me..i cant sign in to explorer..BUT..MSN messenger..thats the only thing that keeps me alive nowadays..and im freaking MAD about it..screwd DELL..ISH..fine..i guess i wnt be able to online using my own comp until i fix it..SOO..wish me luck..by the way..im using my housemate's comp now..^^

ALOT has been going through my mind nowadays..some good some bad..but mostly BORING stuffs..everyday go work and work..get myself tired..becoming boring and boring..i guess il loose my touch of human soon..but thankgod we are finishing in like one more month..ish...

Well..i myself..is a freaking stupid and dumb person..i dont know why for a period..i think that LOVE is everything..i CANT survive without love..BUT..i realize it yesterday that LOVE is not everything..i can still move on with or without it..but ofcourse with LOVE will make my life more interesting rather than dulling with myself everyday..HMM..haha..anyway..YEA..i try and get back..but the truth is..we cant..i make myself to have hope to everything..but..you know..it aint not going to work out anymore..as he said..'i treat you like a sister..and a very very special friend..' well..maybe we are better this way..sister and brother..YEA RIGHT..haha..but whatever it is..we have to mantain it that way..

Its time for me to let him go in my heart...

and it has to be done..

These few days..i were constantly scribbling some words or drawing in a paper..it is actually the hard paper at the back of the captain order..i was too bored and got nothing better to do..so i draw and write..actually i find it quite interesting..il show you guys when i cn use back my own comp..^^

Ohya..talking about my work..it has been boring..mistakes has been done..compliments has been made..people smiled..people grumbles..but you know what..thats life..FnB life..

FnB life = no LIFE

am i right me dear friends??haha..i love what i am doing..but i dont like the life that they are going through..not that im some stupid weakling who cant take the hard job..but i realize that they are just some working machine or smiling machine..i was really thinking hard..some people ask me to aim for some office thingy..PR or Sales and Marketing..in a hotel ofcourse..i always thought that i would do that actually..so im thinking..thinking hard..especially after the talk with Max..

okay..LET me screwd some stupid idiot people here..im FREAKING mad because of this stupid guy..well..first of all..you know why you are freaking lonely and things..because the way you treat people..from the first moment you try and meet new people..you started to judge them for who they are..you started to make your own judgement..i HATE people who make comments on me based on some stupid chat of whatever..i just HATE it..you think you know me better than i AM???you are freaking fishing wrong..yes..believe in KARMA or whatever shit it is..il get back what i treat you..oh CRAP!!!!!!!!!!! its YO who pissed me off in the bloody first place..and thats why i IGNORE you..i did not have the intention to IGNORE you in the first place..BUT..you made me IGNORE you..so fine..fullstop..im freaking mad about this stupid guy..and goodbye..you can stick to your own sulky attitute and be lonely!!!!

i seriously got lots to tell ar..but no time..hmmm..im going out to sing k now!!!! YEA!!!..soooo...il update you guys real soon..haha..tata

My Off day

My DAY OFF

it started off with meeting with Ting Ting and Ryan at Zanmai and Zen at Sunway..

Then met Louise and Ray pulak wor..

So we went to Sakae sushi and eat the tea time buffet...

GOSH..

Look at the pictures below..haha

This would be our PROUD Twin Tower of sushi plates..

seven of us manage to SAPU 49 pink plates and 12 green plates..

GOSH..guess we were damn hugnry..haha..i really ate until DAMN full wei..haha

Yes..i was damn happy to see SOO many people today..Ting Ting, Ryan, Louise, Ray, Garrick, CJ, Rui Ru, Kai Shyang, Ken, Ivan and Sunny..

i guess Sunway is really full with DH27 people..hehe..

Anyway..we really had alot of fun eating sushi..haha..thought everyone was full until we can hardly MOVE..

Ohya..Philly joined us after a while..haha..since he was late and all of them terpaksa go back to work..we went to Zanmai and eat his dinner..WAH..they cancel off all the plates he took wei..i should have took some..but i was damn full already..keke..

Then..me and Philly went for a movie..NAME..War of Dragon..BAH..lame show..we were laughing the whole time..why??because it was L-A-M-E...haha..really damn freaking lame wei im telling u..haha..

After he left..i have to wait for Louise and Ryan mer..so i went and did some light shopping..Sooooo...Beware..my camshoring session AGAIN...muakaka..

this was the best la..haha..i seriously wont wear like that out..haha...but just for the fun of changing clothes..i try this on..keke..

Today i really had a great friends with all my friends..had alot of laugh and laugh..haha..they are just plain superb to be a comedian la..haha..its late right now..il update you guys real soon..gotta go and rest now..tomorrow working..tata..MUAKXX

something to bear on

Well..yesterday night i went to The Dark Knight with Wayne..for the midnight show..the show..not much comment la..just that that guy is called bruce wayne..which is buzzing me all the time..because WAYNE is just sitting next to me..which reminded me of him everytime the name was called in the movie..haha..the joker was just plain scary..DAMN...

thanks wayne wayne..

thanks for lending me a shoulder to lay on when i need one...

it helped alot when the freaking cinema is freaking damn COLD..

haha

Just now..i just lock myself AGAIN..i left my keys in his room...i dont know why..but i just woke up and wanted to see him real bad..i just dont know why..then when i start looking for my keys..i realize it was not there..DAMN...i did it again..i sms him..and he is not free..luckily Melvin was at home..and i had to used his keys..

Then..i cant use my comp because the online thingy is not set yet..DAMN..wtf wei..luckily Jervin allowed me to use his comp..if not..il just fall into misery..and yea..i still fell into misery..i was freaking DAMN depressed!!!

i was depressed because i realize that sometimes i just depend on him too much..too much to bear..and when i cant do that anymore..i just felt useless..and im freaking dumb and forgetful..forgetting every single thing that is important...URGHH..and the fact that my fever is on and off whenever i have a emotional swing is just plain DUMB..

i wanted to sms and tell him im depress..but i know that he cant always be there for me..be there to comfort me..so i took my hands off..

i saw the picture he took with his friends..where they went and eat..the things he will order..yea..i remember all that..i know what he will order..he got his own life to live with..and i have my own life..i have to find my own life...

i need to love myself again..

learn how to treat myself better..

learn how to be myself again..

learn how to be happy

Learn how to be Yeaw Zhi Lin again...

Good bye lover..hello friendship

Seriouslly..im prefectly fine now..maybe better than ever..i cant say that im totally over him..but what i found out is that if i change it in another perspection..it would be much more better...Well..both of us are still close to each other..Closer than a friend..but not a couple..this is what i should say..

I dont regret the time we had spend together..the time when we really had alot of fun..share alot of things..we helped each other to overcome each emotional swing..we had done so many things together...as a couple..but it is in our memories now..nothing but a happy memory

i cherish the moment that we had spend together..i cherish all the love the has bonded us together..but now..its the end of our relationship..but our friendship continues..We ended it as the best way for both of us...

So people..please do not think that Brendan is a jerk or things like that..if he is one..i would not fall for him..and hold on for so long..he is just not the right guy for me..its nobody's fault....he is one the the best guy that i had met..maybe it would be better if we stay as a friend..

So..now im going to enjoy being single..enjoy the moment without the complication of love..haha..many people predicted i wnt stay single for long..hmm..not really sure about that..but..i just hope that i will meet a better one in the future..

OKay..gotta sleep now..took my pills..haha..the effect is kicking in..so good night people..muakx

SICK!!!!

Okay..im officially SICK now..Yesterday i can hardly breathe when im working..maybe because of the smoke in the kitchen..then whatever i do also half a pace slower..Damn it..Then i got fever right when i got home..amazingly..i think Brendan is treating me way better than he was..maybe this is the way that we should take..hmm...He taught me how to breathe properly and things like that..blanket me when i was trying to sleep..i actually felt touched..and warm..because this was who he was back then..not the one who ignores me when stressed out..

But..i cant sleep a bit..my brain was still awake until the next morning..meaning i had no rest for 24 hours..god gracious..i dont know why..but i was damn emo and sad..everyhting started to hit on me at that time..i cried..and i was staring outside the window for damn long..until it was morning..

Then when he woke up..he walked with me to the nearest clinic..the doctor said im fine..but maybe a viral fever..headache because lack of sleep..hard to breathe because of the smoke in the kitchen ofcourse..SOO..i paid 35 bucks for it..got a fever, headache, vitamin C and also Sleepy pills..so i can sleep..Damn..just because im sick..and yea..he tapao something for me to eat..so i can take my medicine..See..he always treat me good when we are not a couple..damn..

But you know what..maybe this is better..better for both of us..like friends..we dont put everything in heart..we just know how to treat our friends good..and not by hurting them..so i think this is the best solution for us??

Im not moving out..the reason..why should i??yes..he is here..it might be hard for me to forget about him..but i just change my perspection and think in another way..maybe it is way easier..i dont want all the hoohaa of finding new room..getting know the new housemates, deposit..im perfectly okay with this house..so why should i move out??

So people..you dont to worry much about me..il take care of myself..this i promise you guys..okay??? MuakxXXXX

Friendship is the one who saved me

First thing that i want to say now is..THANKYOU to all my friends who supported me..let me name it one by one...

Diny and Catherine who was there when i first broke down..

Dai Lou who turned up when i broke down for the second time..

Pipi who sms and comfort me..

Wayne who knows how i felt right now...

Dolores, Joo Ee, Wai Mae, Eunice, KAR WOON.. who will always be there for me...

Chia Chi who i sms randomly..and i felt damn warm after reading her sms..

And ofcourse my Dengs..thanks for being there for me..and Batman on Monday Midnight!!! and triple date on tuesday...dont FFK ar..haha..we got tonnes to catch up..

You guys were just plain great and GREAT..nothing else to say..but tonnes of thankyou and LOVES...MUAKXX

Anyway..what i did yesterday..i went on an date..ermm..no..shall i call it an outing with Dean..haha..since he is always and forever free..We went to Carls Junior..like FINALLY..Finally i got to see how big was the burger...damn it..i can only eat half..

Great guy to talk with..and i wish that he can sing for us during the Dinner and Dance soon..gonna nag him until he do so..muakaka..anyway..thanks Dean..for spending your precious lunch time for me..hope you are not bored..muakaka

and this little cute fellow is from Dai Lou..haha..right after i cried..because he said..'lai ba..i go and buy you a bear bear..' haha..okay..i need one..So..we did went..haha..and this is the one that was bought..damn cute lo..keke..

What i realize now is..friends are damn important...no matter where you go..they will be there for you..Soo..im sorry if i had ignore you guys when i was in a relationship..il try and adjust it back and patch it up with you guys..yes..and i will do it this time..

CONCLUSION is..

FRIENDS ROCKS!!!!!!!!

LOVE you guys so so so much..MUAKXXXX

The end of everything

Im tired of crying

Im tired of being so not me

Im tired of tolerating

Im tired of putting down my dignity

Im tired of letting him to overcome me

Im tired of making myself suiting him

Im tired of giving him chances

Im tired of thinking about him

Im tired of caring about him

Im tired of missing him

Im tired of loving him

All this time

I was lying to myself

Saying that he is the one

Saying that he should be the one for me

Im scare of the reality

Im scare when this day comes

When i lost parts of my heart

and i know that this will be the very end

Why should i be holding on to him when he dont know how to appreciate me

Why should i be hurting myself when i see the damages he had done to me

Why should i be giving him chances again and again

Why should i be giving myself a hope that he will change for me

Why Why Why and WHY

i had lost myself in the relationship

I forgoten who am i and who i was

I used to be strong

i used to be tough

I used to put friends above everyone

i used to be mean

i used to be happy all the time

Everything that was in me

I had lost it

Im glad that im in my training now

Atleast i can put my happy mask on

I can think of nothing else

I wanted to go home badly

I wanted to go back to where i used to badly

I miss my family

i dont want to pretend that im okay

Because i know that i am not

I dont want to lie to myself anymore

Family matters

Okay..second post from me today..typical Zhi Lin ar..haha..i love to write actually..^^..ermm..shall i restate my sentence.. i love to type..not write..im too lazy to write..haha

Anyway..my dad was damn worried about me yesterday...i asked him to top up for me..since im having some financial problem in KL..i gotta save for Bangkok you see..So..i thank him for reloading for me and saying that im going home now..it was around 10.15pm..So..i guess he was worried..he keep sms-ing and ask me whether i reach or not..he even asked whether im alone..and where is Brendan..So..i gave Brendan's number to my dad incase any emergency and he can contact Brendan..Actually i was hoping that he will sms Brendan and ask him to take care of me..^^ why so?? i have Zero idea..haha..and then..this morning..he told me that there were problem in the parliament or something..and said that he was damn worry for my work now..and he even ask me whether i like the course im taking now..ofcourse i like it..if not why i will choose this course..i told him i like it and he said he is damn happy to hear that..i guess he is missing me some how..haha..because he keep asking me to go back to Seremban..

My parents are like that..they dont know how to show their love to their kids..so what happens is...we..the children will mistranslate their action and thinks that they hate us..os something..but when i grow older..and can think a little bit more maturely..i realize that every parent have their own way of showing their love to their kids..my parents are not that dad and mom who can talks personal thing with their children..they prefer silent..silence is golden you see..haha..they dont spend alot of money..even on themselve..probably because i still have three younger brothers..sometimes i complain..but..when i think back..yea..i still have three younger brothers..Soo..it will be fairly childish for me to keep asking for money..thats the reason i applied for PTPN..i dont want to keep asking money from them..i dont feel good..

Hey..this is the first time i talk about my parents..bravo!!!! then my brother..last time we used to fight like some small little children..yes..we really did faught!!! but as we grow older..we can actually use our brains to think..haha..me and my elder brother communicates better now..he will care about me randomly..haha..which makes me felt really warm inside..Well..my youngest brother is the worst actually..haha..nevermind..he is still young..he still have the space for improvement..^^

my friends always tell me that family are the most important thing in this whole world..no matter where you go..they will be there for you..yea..i know that..i will try and make our relationships better in the future..but it needs some time...time for a change..soo..im hopinh for the best...

Monday OFF!!!!

Okay..Today im OFF..yays!!! why?? my off day suppose to fall on thursday..But..i requested to change it to Monday so i can...hehe..the same old reason..spend more time with Brendan..Because he dont have class on Monday mer..Sorry ya Cat if my small little request of mine change your plans or anything..

Well..Today..i woke up damn freaking early...Before ten..because somebody damn smart and wanted to skate at ten..GOSH..i need my sleep man..Nevermind..For everyone's information..im a damn lousy skater..my hands and legs coordination is damn freaking bad..and i cant balance myself...i skate before ONCE..with Cat, Diny and Ryan..i think it was in our Term 1..Gosh..i just suck in it..i fell down like three times i guess..all landed on my ass..haha..So..i have a skating phobia actually..Nevermind that..

Since he sooooo eager for skating..we went with Kelvin and Neo..Ahah..me and Neo are beginner in skating..So both of us just skating like some noob in the ice rink..haha..Before this..Brendan was boasting that he can skate though he never skate before..i was like 'yea right. you sure fall one..you think so easy ar.' then he will forever say..'you will see.' okay..fine..i shall see..what makes my eyes drop is..he seriously can skate..my gosh..i thought he was being boastful like usual..mana tahu..ISH..im the lousy one who keep holding on the rail by the side..haha..

Anyway..after skating and falling for like three times..i manage to skate a little bit..haha..atleast i can you know..though im skating like im walking..i dont care..haha..ohya..for your information.that boastful kid did fall once i think..HAHA..that was because somebody pushed him..pity pity..

My legs were aching right now..tomorrow im so going to be dead..i have to work with my aching leg..DAMN IT..nevermind..il see what will happen tomorrow..

Anyway..after killing out legs..we went and watch hell boy..it was nice actually..but too bad im too sleepy..i fell asleep for like three min during the best fighting part at the end..haha..But it was nice actually..for those who likes some action pack movies..you should try watching this..

My off day will end of with us eating at home..me cooking of course..which will make me even more tired..but nevermind..since when i have chance to eat a descent home cook meal..haha..i miss drinking herbal soup at home..and i miss my Grandma's food which i will never have to chance to eat again..:(

Love quotes

LOVE QUOTES

"First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically,that it touches our lives and enriches them forever." - Rosemary Rogers

"First love is a little foolish and a lot of curiosity."- Bernard Shaw

"The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end." - Benjamin Disraeli
"We never forget those who make us blush." - Jean-François De La Harpe

"Young love is from the earth, and late love is from heaven." - Turkish Proverb

"First love is dangerous only when it is also the last." - Branislav

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it,
and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it..
It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't
risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions." - Isaac Bashevis Singer

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."-Oliver WendellHolmes
"Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it." - Robert Mitchum

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." -
Rainer Maria Rilke

"Where love is, no room is too small." - Talmud

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Mark Twain

"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde

"A love song is just a caress set to music." - Sigmund Romberg

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." -
Peter Ustinov

"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain
forever." - unknown

Memories

Memories of you makes me smile

But sad in the same time

I know i should have appreciate our bond

I know i should not be so childish

I regret and not regret at the same time

Both of us know that there is a huge barrier between us

Distance starting to kill me

Killing my feelings for you

I am afraid that i will loose my grip

And starting to hate you instead of loving you

It is a better way of both of us

Though i do not know how much it had affected you

How much i had hurt you

What i can say is i am sorry

and i am sorry

You are a great guy

Probably one of a kind

It is just that we missed that train by seconds

We were not meant for each other in the past

My selfishness is killing me

I rely on you too much

You always pull me up when im down

You are always there for me

I felt bad

Terribly bad

But i cant stop at the same time

Maybe we know each other too well

Too well to be true

No matter what will happen in the future

I thank you for everything that you had done for me

i thank you for all the great memories

You are still important to me

Deep down in me

i still love you

but this time

as a friend

*Dedicated to Hang Hang*

Picture time

Enough of the emo-ish post..yeah...finally manage to upload my pictures..okay..so now..im going to go through it one by one..

This..is my dear Elcerdo Restaurant..

For those who dont know about this restaurant..this is a German Spanish Restaurant..serve 90 percent pork dishes...Yes..sorry for those who cant take pork..all the dishes are just perfecto..mumumia...

The three trainees in Elcerdo..Cat...Diny and Me!!!
Yupe..my camwhoring time..yeah..me with my Elcerdo uniform..it is actually freaking cute..haha..ofcourse i took it without the apron..

BEFORE

Thats me before the evening briefing..i havent tie my hair and make up..and yes..im in the toilet..haha..because the lighting there is just perfecto..

AFTER

i swear to god..i DID make up..haha..but can you see the difference??? i did out some dark eye shadow and eye liner and mascara..but then.. why i like did not make up???

Guess what..me and cat went to Sg Wang and jalan jalan..window shopping is the better way to call it..and we stop by in Sub Zero and try on some clothes..GOD..i just love their clothes..freaking nice wei..but damn expensive..haha

This is a typical subzero look..BLACK..and shimmering..i love this formal like alot and alot!!!! freaking nice lo..but the whole outfit cost around RM 250++..DAMN..haha

we then proceed to P& Co..i wanted to try something really different..which i would never buy..So..here goes..

Diny said that i look nice in it..haha..but honestly speaking..it makes me look fat..so im not a fan of this type of dressing..

Okay...time for some introduction of the food serve in ELCERDO...muakakak..

THIS..is a freaking nice pork..it is call the Lomo de Iberico---

Steak from the Black Pig Loin...

it is finger licking good..The texture and the taste of the pork is totally different from what you can find in any other part of malaysia..the taste is just SOOOO different and you will fall in love with it though you are not a fan of pork...

Pork Belly Steak..Served with Catalan Rice..

This is another mumumia dish..Normally Pork Belly comes with a bit of fats..and that makes the tenderness and the juciness of the pork..it serve with plum sauce..something new to you??? Seriously..you got to try this..it is freaking nice..

Feeling hungry already??haha..my handphone cam is not that good..so it is not that nice..but i can guarantee you the food in Elcerdo is worth trying..though the price is freaking expensive...but it is all worth of the value..you will never find a pig that can taste so nice..haha..

hey..im trying to promote Elcerdo here..haha..though i dont feel like promoting..because we are already busy like hell every night..but seriouslly..you can not miss the pork..it is just freaking good..you would not regret a bit..maybe just a big hole in your pocket after you leave..BUT..it is worth eating..SERIOUSLY..haha..Soo..feel comfortable to say hi to me if you see me running around in the restaurant..haha..

Blogging during my off day

Finally..its my off day..like FINALLY..oh well..i have been working for 11 days straight..without off..without enough rest..gosh..it freaking exhausting lo..i guess no one would like to listen me complaning about how tired am i now and bla bla bla..but you know what..im still going to write about it..seriouslly..i think i have a slight fever right now..but i guess it is alright..suppose to go out and makan with King..but that fellow..never reply me until like 4 am in the morning..ask me to text him in the morning..which i did..but no reply..i guess he is sleeping dead right now..so here goes my plan....DUP..into the water..fine..il just get myself comfortable at home and online..i did not on my comp for like ages..it is basically rottening there..damn sad wei..

Anyway..training was fun, tiring ( but not as tiring as last week), and interesting..it is interesting because of the people there and the fact that we are three crazy trainees..ohya..let me intro somebody called 'mu tou' here..ahem..it is a fake name created by me and cat..so people wont realize we were talking about him..yes..he is the manager in our restaurant..and he is only 27 years old..hmm..i think that is consider as quite succesful at his age..well..he is not that handsome..dark and tanned..wearing specs..ermm..i shall call it descent looking..haha..people..im not praising him..thankyou..haha..he looks like those kind who would not joke around..always with that sour and plum face..which Diny called him no sense of humour..but what i realize now is..he is not actually..he has his own sense of humour..which will makes us stunned there and dont know what to respond..or in another way..'ZA DAO!!!' haha..and he is quite capable and i think he will susceed in the next few years..They said i was falling for him..because i was constantly he here he there,,,he he he and he..haha..NO!!! im so not..haha..there is a fine line between 'falling in love' and 'saluting/respect/pei fu/xin shang..haha..i like people to have target in their life..i like people to be ambitious..and i like people who have the capability to susceed..maybe he is like my idol or something..haha..so..please dont say im falling for him okay..

Talking about relationship..being in a relationship is solemly not easy..freaking hard at time..especially when im training..i told you guys that when im training..il get ultra super duper sensitive..il get mad with some small little things..that was me during my first training..NOW..though it still happens at times..but i try to make myself happy as much as possible..the fact that things are not as good as before..i felt like something is changing..may be it is me...or him..or we understand each other too much...sometimes..i just tend to know what he would react..why he is happy..and why he is upset..and he knows..that im sensitive at this point..he knows il get better after crying like a baby..and he will talk to me after the 'wohaa( me crying like some small kids)'..i need to talk...i need to talk to him..i want to talk to him..i dont know why but sometimes he just dont talk..it freaking frustates me to the max..its like im transparent infront of him..so i cried..

i thought of giving up at that point..cause i know that im tolerating with him for too long..people who knows me in the past should know that im not that kind of person..im a strong person..'nu qiang ren' is the best word to describe me..even to my ex..i did not tolerate that much..if im mad..that means i am..i wont find for you unless you say sorry and come back to me..yes..that was me in my first relationship..i know that he really loves me..and i took it for granted..i did not appreciate how good he was until i got into this relationship..i cant say that i regret..because i know that even if i did not break up..things wouldnt be easy for us..because of distance..and distance..So..thats a fullstop of my past..talking about now..i change my perspection..i tend to be very tolerating..and appreciate everything that i have..even giving chances by chances..i know him..i know he will be mad when i am mad..he is not that kind of guy who knows how to comfort people..he will just go speechless..he is very egoistic..he thinks that he is always right..which is true sometimes..SOMETIMES..but why he has so many flaws but i still stay to him??? probably because we have gone through alot..he always said..' if i dont care about you, would i still be staying with you? you know how i love someone..you know i dont tend to show it out.' yes..i know all these..but for me..as a normal girl..sometimes i just want him to show me something..not by me assuming what he thinks inside..i know i have flaws myself..i always make myself miserable..i think too much..which is not helping at all..i tend to make myself sad although it has nothing to be sad of..i always think that he is not good enough..he is bad..i admit that..i am like that..trying hard to change that..but when emo caught me..it will just happen..and i will cry again...

i am glad that i cried actually..atleast i still feel like a human..not like a smiling robot..a happy go lucky robot..working in a restaurant you have to be smiling all the time..even if you are tired until you can just faint there at that spot..you will still have to smile..this is the industry..whether you like it or not..i can see people who are freaking sulking but immediately change into a smiley face when the guest comes in..it happened to me before when i was in Pasific Regency..its like i have a double personality..So..im glad that i still can cry..

05/07/2008----5th day in Elcerdo

Yeah..im blogging again..keke..because im having a straight shift tomorrow..yeah..only Saturday..3pm to 10pm..So..i can wake up late and get back my sleep..Yahooooo...godness..im so grateful now..haha..

Yeah..today was a damn good experience for me..Friday night was a Crazy Physcho night in Elcerdo..haha..the crowd was huge and we were fully booked...FULL HOUSE..people were lining up and waited for like 30 min for the previous guest to leave..gosh..they really have the patient to wait..hehe..i requested to be on the floor tonight..WHY so..because i felt like im practically useless in bar..cant really learn much..because it will be damn busy..and there are already two bartenders in the bar..im just like some extra idiot whose job is to wash and arrange back the glasses..im really glad the im on the floor..time really passed damn fast lo..suddenly ten already..haha..i can go home..felt terribbly sorry to leave early..it was still full house at that moment..but i have a train to catch..keke

Anyway...i was really happy tonight..i dont know why..but im happy..atleast i did not get screwd from anybody..i did my job..and im getting use to everything now.except for taking order..which we were not allowed to do so yet..Monday Max ( training Manager ) will test us on our product knowledge..oh ooo...have to study our menu already..damn sad..haha..we still have to study during our training..

Today is Dai Lou's birthday..YES..i forgoten about it..but people..i cant really remmeber people's birthday okay..not even my parents and brothers..haha..So..im sorry..haha..but i manage to arrange for a little gathering with him and pipi..to celebrate his birthday mer..we went to Pavilion during our break..ours was 3-6..his was 4-6..We were there earlier..so we went to Watson and touch up our make up..haha..yea..i did my make up there..im in love with the revlon's eyeliner and kate's eye shadows...because i wanted to try out smoky eyes..hey..its sexy okay..it turns out to be quite nice..but it totally smeared after my shift..WHY?? because my face produced too much of oil and i was sweating during the service..So should i make up everyday?? maybe..but im too lazy to do so..haha..

Ohya..we went to Pasta Mania and eat..ermm..the food was not really nice..except for the vongole..it was nice..why we choose there? budget mer..haha..it was so nice to see them after 4 days of training...miss everyone..haha..im talking as it i did not see them in years..but in the reality..i did not see them for one week only..haha..i seriously miss college..haha..i want to go back to college..atleast i can dream in the class..not like now..i have to be on the tip of my toes..ohya..back to my main topic..then Pipi came with the cake..keke..ofcourse we asked him to buy that before he comes..he off mer..got damn alot of time..haha..So yeah..it was nothing special..but maybe he can feel a bit touch because everyone was busy training..and we sengaja walk all the way to pavilion and celebrate with him..keke..im indirectly praising myself..haha..damn perasan..thankyou very much..

Okay..so today was a really tiring day..and yet..i felt full because i had learned alot..im still clumsy as i keep knocking people..but atleast im faster in my speed and did not make as many mistakes as my first day training..haha...Tommorow is going to be a long long day as well..i guarantee you elcerdo will be as pack as pack..maybe worst..im hoping for the best..Soo..i have to go and sleep now..nights people..have a good good sleep..

Bar bar bar

haha..hands itchy again after reading somebody's post..okay..im wanna talk about what am i doing now and for the next 2 weeks..im in BAR!!.yupe..im the so call bartender..

first day in bar was a total mess as i dont know what to do..i only know how to wash the glass and give out mineral water..that was the first day..

then the second day..i met the DiDi..not really sure how to spell his name..which i totally hated him...because he was not listening to me all the time..there were no respond..soo..i assume he hated me as well..haha..because i was damn noisy at first..Then i felt so frusfrated working in Bar because i felt like i did not really learn anything rather then washing and keeping the damn glasses..so FINE..i hate working in bar during my second day...

Finally today..at first i was damn sad because i have to work with Didi alone..i hate him okay...then our dear Diny..go and tell Cindy that i was scare of him..and guess what..she go and ask Didi why he bullied me..hahahha...but amazingly after that..he CHANGED..haha..he started to talk to me and teached me alot and alot of things..i manage to learn all the drinks in Elcerdo..and i berjaya to make Cappucino, the perfect Latte, Sangria, Cooler ( specialty of elcerdo ), Special ( Complimentary digestive drink ), Iris coffee..alot and alot..haha..im damn happy..atleast he is good to me..and im happy..maybe because he is really scared of me already..haha..

talking about gossips..haha..when you got nothing better to do..you will start to gossip..haha..this one this and that one that..X with Y.. or Y with Z..haha..its life people..GOSSIP..Then i realize that working in a restaurant..you cant get away from politics..the boss scold this..this will scold that..and that will scold something..when somebody get scolded..who is the victim??? people around them..me..indirectly..haha..so people..chill la..i know everyone is busy with something..but just chill...

okay..really need to sleep dy..what the hell..it is 1.30am already..have to wake up at 9 tomorrow..So...Good night everyone..tata

TRAINING UPDATE

Finally..an UPDATE....haha..Sorry people..i was real tired and exhausted there few days..i did not even open my comp until today..and my hands are shivering now because of lack of food..haha..anyway...WHY i did not update...normally i can write and write everyday right??..Well..as i said in my previous post..im in my training now..in ELCERDO...Soo..this week..i dont have my off day..meaning im working for one whole week..nonstop..until my next off day..thats like damn sad right?? Nevermind..listen to this..im having split shift for my entire training...11am to 10pm..but i have a 3 hours break in between...WHAT THE HELL..oh my god..im just feeling like knocking my head into the wall..what to do?? it is my own choice and i have to live with it..haha..

Well..even from the first day of my training..i can feel the heat of Elcerdo..Lunch was okay okay..nothing much since there are not many guests..but when it comes to dinner..GOSH..DAMN..haha..Well..you have to be on your toes all the time..The restaurant was almost full every night..three of us were like Damn exhausted even though it was our first day working..

Elcerdo Elcerdo Elcerdo..haha..i think that im falling in love with this restaurant..It is damn tiring...long working hours..no life..no entertainment and time for ourselves..which is like damn pathetic..il complain about that later..let me self praise my own restaurant first for now..haha..the food was just SUPERB...damn..i love pork now..haha..everything from the appetizer, main course and dessert was just plain great..GREAT..haha...for the appetizer..im not really a huge fan for ham..but it is always worth trying..it goes perfectly well with rock melon..talking about the rock melon..DAMN SWEET AR..haha...then the main course..strongly suggest the Iberico spare ribs..its finger licking good..you can never go wrong with that..then the pork knuckle..you will ask for more after you ate it..haha..ARR...the food is just great in Elcerdo..il talk about it when i have the time..haha..you just go there and eat once..you will fall in love with the restaurant..

Something really stupid happened today..Andreas..which is one of our boss of Elcerdo was saying im cam blogging because i was busy with my phone..dont think i curi tulang ok?? it was during my break time..haha.i was like damn confused when i heard him saying that..then he said that 'so you are the one with the pink blog..'..ermm..im still blur and stoned when he said that....i dont understand okay..haha..then shawna and Cindy told us that he do read blog..im like 'OH SHIT!!!!!!!' he read my blog...what the fish..haha.my boss read my blog???? then only i remember that if you google any word that you had mention in your blog..it will link to your blog...SOOOO...meaning..im SCREWD!!!!! haha then only i remember that Cat also with a pink blog skin..Ei??? maybe it is not me afterall..haha..anyway..i think it was mine because i posted up my pic and he imediately pointing at me when he pops the question..haha..anyway...i dont mind people reading my blog..but im very shy one okay??haha..Sorry to Andreas or Mr Werner who might have read this little post of mine..my post is quite boring at times..and my grammer is terrible..i know that..haha..

Anyway..im damn sad now because i seriously dont have a life now..everyday wake up at 9..go to work..the reach home at almost 12 at night..sleep..and the routine would be the same for the next 1 and a half month..GOSH..how sad is that..i dont have time to go out for a movie or sit down and have a descent meal with Brendan..lets not talk about spending time with him..i dont even have time for myself..SEE..i did not blog for 4 days already..normally i can post atleast one post a day okay????? damn sad..haha..really no life..and im damn tired..i can barely feel my legs anymore..i did not eat properly because my working hour turn my eating routine up side down..my eyes bags are getting worst..pimples popping out..ARghh..but one good thing..im starting to like what im doing..yea..it takes time to adjust my body back to the working mode..Soo..wish me luck that il get use to it real soon..haha..

Anyway..im damn tired now..i seriously need to get some sleep..sleeping is like heaven to me now..haha..Soo..sorry people..but il try and update more often..if im not tired..which is impossible..haha..