Happy Birthday Malaysia

Well..today is 31th August..which means its our very own Malaysia's National Day..But sadly, racism issues seems to be seeping into everyone's mind now. Arguing about the history, arguing about this and that, I am sure one fine day if this continues, Malaysia will not be Malaysia anymore. After reading all these, I feel like running away from Malaysia so badly. 

Someone told me this,

I have a choice, to either be discriminate by bumiputra, Singaporean or an American.With no doubt, me and my family migrated to the states. 

hmmm....He and his wife is a professor in one of the University in the states and doing great with his family and friends there. 

Do you know when you are in overseas, you are even more patriotic compare to when you are in Malaysia?

You will feel proud when you see Jalur Gemilang rosing above the skies.

You will feel proud when you see foreigners eating our local cuisine.

You will feel proud when you see a Proton Car cruising on the road.

And you are more proud, when other people actually knows about Malaysia

Last week, our college celebrated National Day earlier.

,

They have this speech talking ceremony early in the morning...Patriotic Songs being played and free flags were given to the students..

To my surprise, when Negaraku was played, there are numbers of people actually stood up and sang the song together.

Us with our Jalur Gemilang

I remembered in our last Perhentian Trip, we encountered with a very modern thinking Malay taxi driver. He told us things that I had never expected him to say. If every Malaysian has this kind of thinking, I am sure Malaysia would do much better than now. Say no to racism...

and..Happy Birthday Malaysia

The emo time of the year

I think something wrong with this month...its filled with bad love vibes everywhere...just in a day..I had heard three different emo love stories...gosh..

Let's say I random pick any story and you connect the dotted lines together alright?

1. I hate long distance relationship as I had said many many times. I am just not the person for it and I have no idea how I can live with it. But sometimes, you just need to and have to go through it for some foreseeable circumstances like studies. Long distance relationship needs a strong base to endure the emptiness created by distance so even if you can not see each often, you still can hold on by memories created in the past.

It is not that girls do not have faith in that guy. It is just that girls are sensitive and jealousy creatures. Like B said, there can not be two lioness in a den. Probably it is because we think that you are too perfect for us and we do not want to share with it with anyone else. What more if long distance is playing a mind game with you. Yes. The guy can not do much because he is so far away. What he can do is to endure with it and comfort her as much as he can. But once again, it takes two hands to clap.

2. If a guy is willingly to put down his ego to apologize, to take time to analyze their relationship, to think of a solution and even tear down his ego mask to ask for a help from her friend.Does he deserves to be given a shot? Sometimes, guys are just as confuse as girls in a relationship. So whenever it reaches a dead end, they will need a time and space to cool down and think of the next step.

If he really just don't give a damn, I think he will just F it and find for another one. ( sorry for the language, but this is what they always said ). But in this case, he does care a lot and he even got a plan to save the relationship. In the bright side, he realize his mistakes and said it was partially his fault. Well, at least I had never encounter with this before and i surely thinks he is being honest.

Everyone is unsure of their future of course and would not know who will be the one for us in the end. Who knows you had missed the person who cares for you and loves you more than any other people? Who knows that he is not the one for you? Never try never know. But once agan, it takes more than a guts to take that baby step. It takes two hands to clap. To try again or not, that is the question. Trust your heart or your mind? Pick one.

3. So when you are in a foreign land, single and available. Would you choose to be tied down or would you stay single and just have fun while you can? Well. I do not believe in a contract relationship that says what happens here,stays here. No bond and no ties. Because for girls, no matter what kind of contract it is, once you had put your true feelings in it, confirm they will breach the contract.

At the beginning you may say I don't mind breaking off once graduate, you may say I don't mind about your past, I dont mind this and that. But once you had fell for this guy, there is no chance at all that jealousy would not come and find you. And the same thing goes again, the more you want something, the tighter you will hold on to it. So, here goes all the drama.

So if I have a choice ( not like I will..but IF okay ), will I choose to have fun and stay single, or loose my single card? Well. I think I am in that person's shoes, I would choose to be single and enjoy as long as I can. And so, I do not believe in an open relationship.

I heard many stories from other people, some good and some bad. No matter what it is, I ought to learn much from them. Whether it is learning how to trust your other half, or giving a second chance, or appreciating your partner. It takes two person to work the 'love' magic, it takes two hands to make things happen and it takes two heart to make it last.

So what is yours?

Get hold of yourself

Today..had a little confusion and misunderstanding with my dad due to my bad mood because of headache.Alright. I have to admit that what I said was pretty nasty and was truly sorry for that. And so, I apologize and explained myself.

The point is, I told my dad. I know what I want in my life, and I know what I am doing. You don't have to worry about me because I will do well in my academics. ( I am not trying to be proud of myself here ) I am not a perfect daughter I know, and it is not in my nature to talk to my parents like friends or hug them or so. But I know that they had spend a lot of money on myself, hence did not say I must go overseas study, say no to my mum who volunteer to pay off my diploma ptptn, did not ask my parents to buy me new clothes or anything. I am trying to be a good daughter by not making them worried about me in everything.

You make decisions for yourself and know whats the best for youself. I am not trying to say I am darn good in this, but at least I tried. If I follow what other people say in the past, I would have been taking medicine in Russia or India by now, and probably having an super ugly hair cut and wearing a nerdy glasses. You know how many people was disappointed when I told them I wanted to take hotel management? At least I am liking what I am learning now, and I will make the best out of it in the future.

I want to prove to whoever who look down upon people who studied hotel management, and thinking that we are just a lower class server who cleans people's toilet and clear plates. One day I will held my heads up high saying that hey, I took hotel management and I succeeded. That will be my ultimate ambition to do so.

Of course I can not predict my future and I can not guarantee I can do that. But at least I will give it my best shot.

So no matter what hits me in life, whatever shit things that happen, whether it is relationship or anything, I know what my priorities are, which is studies. I will not let my emotions to overcome me into not concentrating in anything that I am doing because work is work, I don't mix it up. ( I hope I did not. :p )

Sometimes you will get lost in your life, and lost your focus. But that's life, and you learned from it. You just need to get yourself back up, and kick your own cute arsh saying that its time to wake up and focus. Because life is damn short, and you would not want to waste your time in something that is not worth it at all. You make mistakes, and you learned from it.

Of course say easy, do hard. No matter what it is, just try and get hold of your life and live the best out of it. I make lots of mistakes as well. Terlalu banyak, like my dad case. At least I know what I did wrong and apologize to him though I am quite stubborn and ego.

p/s hmmm..not trying to advice you or influencing you..haha..Just caring about you through words and hoping that you can be yourself again. The true you. I will be waiting for you, we all will. You know how much we all love you. =)

Of regrets

My observation

* This can be implied either for a guy or a girl. No gender discrimination here. *

* And oh. This is based on my observation, not based on anyone's story. *

So here comes a couple that had been together for ages, meaning they are so used to each other and their love life seems to be ------------- <= yeap. Just like the line. No ups and downs anymore. So I just assume that its the guy who got bored of it ( as i said before, it can be implied to girls as well ) , and he thought that their relationship is boring and he wanted to get some fresh air. Soon, they talk lesser, interact lesser and the love of this guy for this girl seems to be fading away. So he decided to break it off.

It hurts the girl as hell because of the break up as she still loves that guy very much and he just don't seem to care anymore. And so, she has no choice but to accept it. As for him, he finally gets all the freedom that he ever wanted for long. He can go to club without needing to seek for her permission, he can hang out with his friends until late at night, he can drink until he is drunk and no one is stopping him. The freedom that he had dream for a long long time.

But in another hand, the girl was devastated because she saw him having all the fun in the world without even a single tears of devastation. He just look happier to her after the break up. This gave the girl a free pass to hell and punished herself for making herself miserable while he is happily enjoying himself. Slowly, she learned that its time to move on with her life.

One week, two weeks and three weeks later, he partied, he was drunk, he met those party girls in club, he hang out with his buddies, sms and text other girls, do whatever that he wants to do when he is single and free..But once he had done everything and head back to his room, with no other people to talk to, when there is no one that actually cares whether he ate or not, whether he had arrived home safely or not or even take care of him when he is sick, it then hits him that she is no longer there for him and he is nothing but alone.

He started to think back of all her good deeds and everything that she had done for him, he soon realize that she is a good girlfriend and it was his temporarily lost of mind that influenced him to break it off with her. He regretted it and asked her back.

One thing that he had never thought of is that, she might never come back to him no matter how much he had regretted it. Because one thing, if you truly love her and knows that she is the one for you, you will never want to take a break or get bored of her. One thing you are sure of, is that you want her to be yours only forever. But if you let her go in the middle of the way, you are just opening a door for other guys steal her away from you. By letting her go, she knows that you are just not into her even though you did not mean that way.

As some saying goes, 


At times,


Guys don't use their brains to think, but they think using their little brother. 


Girls don't use their brain to think either, they let their emotions to control their mind.


In the end, he is the one who had lost her because he choose to let her go in the very first place.Though  he regretted it, in the end he left with no choice but to live with the pain of losing someone important to him.

The moral of the story is, whatever that happens in a relationship, do not make hasty decisions for your temporary satisfaction, think further ahead so you will not make the biggest mistake in your life.

I am an observer

Now, since all school are combined together in Lakeside Campus, everywhere is filled with students from everywhere...Whether it is formal clothes hospitality students, or always trendy mass com students etc. To those who know, our library is a 4 floors glass library where you can see everyone walking outside from  the library itself.I always choose to sit at the side where I can observe the people outside.

I don't know why, I like to observe people quietly when I am alone. Whether it is some super 'selamba' guy taking off his slipper, sitting at the couch like he is at home showing me at my face his very 'sexy' boxer while talking in the phone with his very trendy sunnies on,  or some girl who wore some super short teeny meeny skirt which I can see her butt clearly with 2 piercing on her mouth and 3inch make up. Of course there are many pretty girls who are well dressed walking around with her flowy long hair, and some very cheeky and handsome guys around, claimed by others, not me. :p

Then i started to realize that hey, I have to dress up nicely to college already. haha. Probably I am an insecure girl who often jealous with other girls who are prettier and can dress better, whichever it is, it is time to put the game face on! yeah right. Must have confidence in yourself right? However whatever that you do, unless you go for plastic surgery to change your whole body or face of course, you can not change how you look, your height or your body sculpture. Say easy, but it is not easy to convince yourself at times. haha.

So what if I have a huge forehead like a gold fish? So what if I am short with short legs? So what if I have small boobies? This is what I have and I shall live with it. Correct or not? :p but can I still see pretty girls out there? I sounded so lesbo...haha..call me weird..but i observe girls more than guys..

Somehow I think my eyes are huge here...just want to post it up for fun..:p

Alarm Clock

Are you a person who keeps pressing the snooze button on your hp or you are the type who will automatically wakes up once the alarm starts ringing?

See..I am those who will just..*click* time to wake up and get the day starting. So I just realize that it is my duty as an alarm clock to wake b up in the morning..hmm...I had been waking him up for more than a year now..wheeee~~ =)

Someone don't want to wake up in the morning...:p

Yesterday we heard the the first song that B had dedicated for me one year ago..I get all emotioned up because I suddenly thought of everything that we went through together in one whole year. Whether it is our beginning, or trips or everything that we had done together...The more I think, the more I felt like crying..I don't really know how to explain why I am covered with emotions at that time, but I do know, that this is something I want more than anything else in this world. And there would be no reasons at all for me to screwed this up. and for a hundred and million times, I lub you b...muakxxxx

p/s sorry for this very random post. :p

Bags and Bazaar

First of all before I continue with anything else, please do check out this website for nice and cheap bags alright? If you are a guy you can get it for your girlfriend, if you are a girl you can get it for yourself..

 

Below will be their facebook link..=)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=521340038&v=wall&story_fbid=147031095320025&ref=notif&notif_t=feed_comment_reply#!/profile.php?id=100001473398770

COD can even be done in Taylors College itself..enjoy shopping online people! 

Bazaar!

Anyways, its the time of the year again for our fellow Muslim friends to puasa for one month. And what it means to us? its BAZAAR time!!! wheee~~ Its time to grab some murtabak and roti john!! So since I missed going to any bazaar last year, this year it is a must must must to go! Conveniently, there is a bazaar near B's house. Let's Go~~~

Otak Otak..

( Not my cup of tea since I got food poisoning after I ate it when I was a small kid )

Something sweet maybe?

Arrr..the Murtabak stall with lots of customers

Malay fried chicken suits you maybe?

Or some fried popiah?

arrr..Nasi Ayam also not bad..

Rojak Pasembur...tonnes of things to choose for

hmm..maybe you will like some ikan bakar..

Ayam percik also not bad!

Tempted to go to bazaar now? if yes then you better go now! haha...it only last for one month in a year you see..

We went there for atleast 3 times already...haha..B's parents like to jalan jalan cari makan as well..So our harvest today for afternoon tea?

Murtabak

Roti John

anddd

Kuih Muih...

Did not finish everything yet la!! Don't think we are such big eaters..hahaha..So what are you waiting for?? GO and get some foodieeeee...=) and oh..don't forget to check out the website as well okie? lovessss

( n n )

Journal fight!

After almost a month of college, I realize that degree is all about reading, writing and more writing. Assignments after assignments, the never ending cycle of work to be done. Oh degree. Don't forget our dissertation. We are lucky enough to not have to submit our topic so soon, if not, Oh die. Thanks to the journals and only 3 min presentation per person, everyone seems to be having a lot of 'fun'.

haiy..

Everyone seems to be flying away to further their studies..what happen to my dream of doing so? huh? I guess  in reality, you have to think for others also. Three younger brothers, one in Sabah now and one in Inti College, youngest still in secondary school and its not too long before he has to start college soon. Imagine the financial burden on my parents shoulder. My dad keep complaining all his money keep flowing out for me and my brothers. What to do what to do. Thanks to the PTPTN that is always not on time, I have to bermuka tebal to ask for pocket money. @@ I so hate to do that. But what can I do right? 

Probably I should go and buy lottery now! hmmm...

I can just dream on la! I am always not lucky in this kind of thing. Whether it is lucky draw or winning some contest, i will never strike any luck. Never! ( T o T )

Anyways..To cheer myself up, I shall post up a food picture!

Ikea ever famous meatballs!

I guess everyone of us is quite familiar with this bola thingy from Ikea. Why is it such a craze in Ikea all over the world? Probably it is just the combination of balls with the wonderful gravy with loads of fries plus a touch of cranberry jam. slurrrppp.. and it is quite cheap compare to other places...=)

Looking at it now makes me hungry~~ grrrrr~~

Other thing likes sandwiches, chicken and pasta looks pretty promising also and honestly speaking, i think it is pretty affordable....would love to try out their other things on the menu...=)

and oh..Look at this fellow!!

Looks like a tiger right?? damn cute!!! I think its an American Curl..look at the ears..haha

Love the expression!! haha

I know..meatballs and car don't relate together..but I don't care..it is cute! =) and I saw an adorable babu husky as well...I wanted to carry it home so badly!! arrrr..when I start working then...

Anyways..its pretty late now..sorry for the very random post...nite love..

Bye bye! =)

Long since I had really planned for something for someone..But as these three people, Carlos - the very hyper and smart guy, Mischa - the top student and of course Tat's gf, and Reagan - the very cool and sarcastic at the same time guy, I must say they are the heart and soul of our group, their farewell is a must and there must not be any failure.

Of all the plans, we had finally settled with potluck at Wei Ren's house. Potluck means everyone bring whichever that they want to cook like some bring food, some drinks, cups and plates etc. Honestly, it is harder than what I expected and I was so scare that the food is not enough for everyone. But, in the end, we were too bloated with food and can hardly finish everything.

We have Shepard's Pie from Carlos, awesome Chicken Curry by Kee Shern, Terrific Spicy Chicken Wing and blue cheese pasta from Weiren, Jumbo Sausages from Jon, Sandwiches and salad by Acelin, Pizza by Calvin, Vegetable Stew from Vincent, Ozeir's rice, Andy and Wai Kheng's superb brownies and Mischa and Gan's Green Tea cake and Mille Crepe Cake...everything is awesome and delicious! Bloated sial after makan.

Mille Crepe Cake..superbbb!! 

Green Tea Cake...this is also very nice..I want to make also..=)

The trio who are leaving us to the foreign land...

We already felt their absent in class when college starts...its..just not as fun anymore..with another policeman enjoying himself in Switzerland..and now two guys in USA and one girl in France..what can I say is...good luck in everything that you do...Whether it is in your studies, life or relationship..all the best...long distance relationship is not easy...but have faith and im sure you both can make it...=)

The organisor, Acelin and Weiren..=)

Talk and more talk

' Put in 100 percent of you heart into it, so even if it doesn't work out, you had tried your best and you have no regrets '

I guess this can be implied in every aspect in life..whether it is in love, studies, work etc. Sometimes when you are trying to accomplish something...you just tend to hold back and keep the best out of you in yourself..If you do so, others will never know the real you inside and the best of you...I say just give it all and try your best in everything that you do...so in the end of the day..you knew you had done everything that you could and even if it did not work out, you knew that you have no regrets...

At times, little little small things like not keeping to your words can show what type of person you are..whether you are ignorant or just, not a person who can hold great responsibilities..So before you promise anyone anything, think twice because once word is said and not realize, you can bid good bye to the word - trust.

Is it good to have a sudden urge for a change? Felt like chopping it off for a brand new start..A fresh start. But as I look into the mirror, I see hope and future for us .

I think, I shall keep it as it is now as I am pretty comfortable with what I have now. and oh. I am referring to my hair. :p

By the way, what's with guys and girls with long hair? Not referring to you sayang, I know you had given me a green light to divorce with my hair. But 80 percent of the guys out there like girls with long hair. I even read before that guys think that girls with long and straight hair are more approachable. Tell me why? Probably long hair gives an impression of a girl with a feminine and gentle side like what Victor said.

I know that if I chop my hair off now I will regret as hell because all my envy poison will sting me whenever I see girls with long wavy hair like those in Hair Shampoo advertisement. All my life until like secondary school I had a short hair cut which is horribly ugly because my mum thinks that it is better to be like this. When I finally can stand on my ground to have a say with my own hair cut, I have to chop it off for the sake of Red Crescent Competition. Then from that day onwards, I started to have longer hair cuts compare to before though I am not exposed to re bonding, perming and all until college era. I have not dye my hair nor highlight yet though...hmmmm..should I? haha...

I am crapping already..time to sleep and start on my synthesis tomorrow. Nights love.

Baby love

Arrr...I totally forgotten about this..my little baby cousin sister!

She is so photogenic..whereever my camera moves, she just follow it...hmmm..camwhorer to be in the future!

My mum was telling me my cousin sister damn cute damn cute and keep asking me to visit her when got time..So when I saw her..i was like...oh damn...so cute..her eyes are soooo big and round..=) sorry..but im attracted to things with huge eyes..haha..

Tell me she is not cute!!! =)

and her head is so round..hahaha

keke...she even have her own busuk o..same like someone horrrr? :p

Super cute cute cute

I wish my baby will be this cute in the future..haha..=) well....long time still long time still...

When love is gone

叮铃！门上的铃当响了起来，一个三十多岁，穿著笔挺西服的男人，走进了这家飘散着浓浓咖啡香的小小咖啡厅。　

　　“午安！欢迎光临！”年轻的老板娘亲切地招呼着。　

　　男人一面客气地微微点了点头，一面走到吧台前的位子坐了下来，开口对老板娘说：　

　　“麻烦给我一杯摩卡，谢谢。”　

　　“好的，请稍候。”老板娘微笑着说。　

　　接着她便开始熟练地磨碎咖啡豆，煮起咖啡来。男人一直带着笑容看着老板娘煮咖啡的动作，一副很享受的样子。　

　　过了没多久，老板娘便将一杯香醇的咖啡端到男人的面前。“请慢用！”　

　　“谢谢。”男人将杯子拿到嘴边，浅浅地尝了一口。　

　　“第一次来吗？”老板娘问。　

　　“是啊！”男人答。　

　　“觉得我们这家店怎么样？”　

　　“很不错！气氛很好！”　

　　“我自己也是很喜欢，所以虽然生意不好，我和我先生却还是舍不得把它关掉。”

　　“嗯……”男人好像有所同感地点了点头，又喝了一口咖啡。　

　　两人沉默了一会，一时间空荡的店里只有悠扬爵士音乐。男人忽然开口，打破了这短暂的宁静。　

　　“呃……不好意思，可以请教你一个问题吗？”　

　　“什么问题呢？”老板娘好奇地问。　

　　“嗯…这…这该怎么说好呢？”男人抓着头，一副不知所措的样子。“或者你可以先听我说个故事吗？”　

　　老板娘点了点头，示意男人继续说下去。　

　　“我以前有个很要好的女朋友，已经到了要论及婚嫁的地步。我和她之间的感情发展得相当平凡，并不是什么经过大风大浪、轰轰烈烈般的爱情。但我想从我第一眼看到她的时候，就彷佛有一股魔力，有一个声音，在推动着我，告诉着我，就是她了！她就是我一直期待着的女孩。更令我高兴的是她也响应了我的示爱，接受了我。这一切的顺利让我整个人陶醉于幸褔的喜悦之中，只不过……”
　　
　　“只不过，发生了什么事了吗？”老板娘显然给故事吸引住了，她打断了男人的话。　

　　“嗯……”男人脸色沉了下来，略微停顿了一下，继续说下去。　

　　“只不过我忘了幸褔的背后，往往藏匿着最可怕的恶魔。就在我们订婚前一个月的一个晚上，她……她遭到了歹徒的强暴”“啊！”老板娘惊讶地啊的一声叫了出来“都怪我！要是我那天坚持送她回去就好了！”男人用力地捶打着桌面，杯子中的咖啡因剧烈震动的关系洒了出来。　

　　“你要问我的该不会就是这个吧！”老板娘一面擦拭着洒出来的咖啡一面说。　

　　“不！不是的！我对她的感情不会因为这样而有所动摇，我决定仍旧如期订婚，可惜就在我们订婚的那一天，她……上吊自杀了！”男人的语调异常平缓，从他的表情上看得出，当时的他是多么的难过与震惊。　

　　“自杀！那她有没有怎么样？”老板娘为突转而下的剧情睁大了眼睛，紧张地看着男人。

　　“幸运的是我们发现得早，送到医院时还有气，只是脑部因为长时间缺氧，呈现昏迷状态，当时医生说她一度有成为植物人的危险。”　

　　老板娘松下一口气，“那她后来有醒过来吗？”　

　　“有的，她醒了！”　

　　“但……但当我得知她醒了的消息，高兴地要去看她时，却被她父母给拦在门外。”　

　　“为什么？她父母为什么不让你去看她？”　

　　“她父母跪在地上求我，原来她失去了记忆，失去了认识我以后的记忆，医生说这是选择性失忆症，当人在遭遇极大的打击时，会逃避性地藏起一些记忆。她父母求我暂时不要再出现在她面前，他们认为让她就这样忘了之前的一切对她比较好，怕我要是去见她或许会让她回想起来，到时她可能又会陷入昏迷，甚至又跑去自杀。”　

　　“她父母这么说也是有道理，反正只是暂时嘛！等她情绪和身体都稳定了，你就又可以见她啦！”老板娘听了男人的话后这样说着。　

　　男人勉力挤出一丝笑意，样子无限苍凉，“你知道他们的暂时指的是多久吗？是十年啊！也就是这十年里我得要忍受这样没有她的日子，就算偶尔在路上碰面，也得要装作陌生人一般地和她擦肩而过。”男人快要咆哮起来似的，“你知道这样的日子有多难熬，这样想爱却又不能爱的心情有多痛苦！”　

　　“虽然会很痛苦，但你还是选择了这条路吧！”老板娘看着男人的眼神变得非常温柔。　

　　老板娘的眼神让男人冷静了下来，点头说：“嗯！到今天就满十年了！”　

　　“哦！真的吗！？那真是恭喜了，你努力撑了十年，到今天终于可以去见她了！”老板娘开心地说。　

　　“是这样没错！但是愈到这一天，我反倒愈害怕。十年了，我的心意是没有改变，但是她呢？如果我跟她说了以前的事，她还是想不起我那怎样办？或者是她已经有男朋友，甚至于结婚了呢？”　

　　“这才是我想请教你的问题！”男人似乎略带紧张的看着眼前年轻的女店主，静静地等待着她的答复。　

　　“嗯……”老板娘用手托着头，脸色凝重地想着男人所提的问题。　

　　“我想既然你这么爱那个女孩，她记不记得你其实并不重要，最多是重新开始而已，再重新追求她一次，再重新谈一次恋爱，其实也很不错吧！！而且就算有男朋友了也没关系啊！把她从他手中抢过来不就行了！”老板娘笑着说。　

　　“但是！”她忽然将表情严肃了起来，“但是如果她已经结婚了的话，那你就放弃吧！我们结了婚的人啊！是最痛恨有人破坏人家家庭的了！”　

　　“是吗？”男人低着头冷寞地说。　

　　“没错！所以你可千万别做个破坏别人家庭的人哦！”　

　　叮铃！挂在门上铃铛又响了起来，走进来几个刚下课的大学生，老板娘走出吧台，忙着招呼这几位新来的客人。　

　　“对了！”老板娘好象忽然想到了什么，转过头来看着男人。　

　　“你为什么会想问我这些啊！我和你不过是第一次见面而已啊！”她好奇地问。　

　　“嗯……为什么呢……大概是因为那个女孩曾说过，结婚以后要和我一起开一家像这样的咖啡厅吧！”　

　　“哦！原来是这样子啊！”老板娘说。　

　　“嗯！只是这样而已！只是这样而已！只是这样而已！只是……”男人不停地重复着同样一句话，好像借此告诉自己什么似的。

　　爵士乐停了下来，整个屋子里只听得大学生清脆的谈笑声。男人低着头偷偷地瞄着老板娘手上的结婚戒指，一滴温暖的眼泪，悄悄地滑进了那杯早已冷却的咖啡里。


Ding Dong! When the door bell rang, A main wearing a suit in his 30's  walked into this little coffee lounge which has a wonderful coffee fragrant.

"Good afternoon! Welcome!" The young proprietress greeted warmly.

He nodded his head politely, went to the bar and sat down, said to the lady

"Can I have a cup of mocha, thanks."

"Yes, please wait." she said, smiling.　

Then she began to brew the coffee like how she used to. He looked at her gestures and smiled

Not long after, she brought the freshly brewed coffee to him . "Enjoy your coffee"

"Thank you." He then bring the cup towards his mouth, lightly sipped the coffee.

"Is it your first time here?" The owner asked.

"Yes!" Answered the man.

"What do you think about our shop? "

"Very good! Atmosphere is excellent!"

"I am also very fond of it, so even though our business was not that good, my husband and I are still reluctant to close it down."

"Ah ... ..." He seems to understood what she said, and took another sip of the coffee.

Both of them kept quiet for a moment and there is only a relaxing jazz music playing at the background. He suddenly broke the silent and asked her

"Well ... uh ... sorry, can ask you a question?"

"What question? "The owner asked curiously.

"Ah ... this ... how should I put it into words? " He scratches his head, with a confused look. "Or you can listen to my story?"

She nodded, indicating him to go on.

"I used to have a very good girlfriend, we even reach to the point where we are talking about marriage. Our relationship is very simple, no dramas nor dynamic type of love. But I think from the very first time I saw her, as if it was magic and, a voice inside me keep telling me that its her! She is the girl I have been looking for. I am even more pleased that she responded to my love, accepted me.But ... ... "

"But?? What happened?" She is clearly attracted to the story, and she interrupted the man's words.　

"Ah ... ..." His face sunk down a little, and continued his story.

"But I had forgotten that behind each happiness, it carries the scariest demon of all.Just a month before our engagement night, she ... ... she had been raped "


"Ah!" The owner was surprised


"It is all my fault! if I insist that I want to sent her home, this will not happen!" He slammed the table, and the coffee spilled from the cup.　

"Is this the question that you wanted to ask me?" She clean the spilled coffee and asked

"No! No! My feelings for her will not change because of this,I have decided to continue with our engagement but unfortunately on the day of our engagement, she ... ... hanged himself!" From the look from his face, she can imagine how sorrowful and shocked he was at that time.

"Suicide! Then what happen to her? "She curiously asked that guy and wanted to know the story.

"Fortunately we found her earlier, she was still breathing when we sent her to the hospital. But because of lack of oxygen in her brains, she was in a coma state and the doctor said she might be like this forever."

She was relieved when she heard that " Then did she wake up after that? "

"Yes, she woke up!"

"But ... ... but when I heard the news and was happily going to see her, her parents did not allowed me from doing that. "

"Why? Why they don't let you see her?"

"Her parents knelt down and begged me, saying that she had lost the memory from the day she knew me and this is called  selective amnesia, when a person suffered from a horrible incident. she will choose to hide some part of her memories deep down inside. Her parents begged me to not appear in front of her temporary because they think that if she can forget about her past, it would be better for her. They are afraid if I see her now, she might remember about that horrible incident and may fall back into coma, or worst, suicide again. "

" Well, what they said was quite reasonable, it is just temporary right? You just have to wait for her emotions and conditions to be stablize first, then you can go and see her. " she said.

He smiled bitterly , "You know what they meant by temporary? Yes a decade !It Is ten years.I have to endure ten years of life without her, even if I occasionally meet her on the streets ,I have to pretend like we are strangers and let her walk away. Do you know how hard it is to live through each day like this, It is like you want to love her but you can't. It is damn painful. '

"Although it will be painful, but you still choose this path isn't it? " She looked into his eye gently and said.

He then said, " umm..it is ten years today!! "

"Oh! Really!? It Congratulations, your efforts of waiting for a decade had finally paid off, you can finally see her today!" The owner said joyfully.　

" Yes it is like that. But the nearer this day comes, the more afraid I am. It had been ten years, and yet my heart is still the same. but what about her?What  If I tell her about the past and she still don't remember me? Or she already had a boyfriend or even married? "

"This is what I wanted to ask you!" He looked at her nervously and, quietly waiting for her reply.　

"Ah ... ..." She think deeply about what he said.

"I think since you love this girl so much, it doesn't matter if she doesn't remember you, the most important thing is start from the bottom again. Actually it is not too bad to go after her and date her again. Even if she has a boyfriend already, it is still alright. You can steal her from his hands right? " She answered his question while smiling.

"But!" She appeared to be serious in a sudden "but if she was married, then I think you should just give up! We married people, hate people who ruin other's marriage! "

"Really?" He shod his head and said coldly. 

"Yes! You should not ruin other people's family"

Ding Dong. The bell rang again, and here comes a few university students who just came in. She walked out of the bar and greeted them.

"Oh Yes!" She seem to remembered something, turn around and look at the guy.

"Why do you ask me these kind of question? This is the first time I met you!" She asked curiously.

"Ah ... ... Why ... ... probably because  she said before, after the wedding, she wants to open a coffee lounge like this with me. "

"Oh! No wonder!" She said.

"Ah! Just like that! Just like that! Just like that. Just ... ..." the man repeated the same word, as if he is telling himself something

The music stopped, all you can hear is the laughter of the students. He looked at her wedding ring silently, silently his tears fell into his cup of cold coffee.