The end of everything

Im tired of crying

Im tired of being so not me

Im tired of tolerating

Im tired of putting down my dignity

Im tired of letting him to overcome me

Im tired of making myself suiting him

Im tired of giving him chances

Im tired of thinking about him

Im tired of caring about him

Im tired of missing him

Im tired of loving him

All this time

I was lying to myself

Saying that he is the one

Saying that he should be the one for me

Im scare of the reality

Im scare when this day comes

When i lost parts of my heart

and i know that this will be the very end

Why should i be holding on to him when he dont know how to appreciate me

Why should i be hurting myself when i see the damages he had done to me

Why should i be giving him chances again and again

Why should i be giving myself a hope that he will change for me

Why Why Why and WHY

i had lost myself in the relationship

I forgoten who am i and who i was

I used to be strong

i used to be tough

I used to put friends above everyone

i used to be mean

i used to be happy all the time

Everything that was in me

I had lost it

Im glad that im in my training now

Atleast i can put my happy mask on

I can think of nothing else

I wanted to go home badly

I wanted to go back to where i used to badly

I miss my family

i dont want to pretend that im okay

Because i know that i am not

I dont want to lie to myself anymore