Blogging during my off day

Finally..its my off day..like FINALLY..oh well..i have been working for 11 days straight..without off..without enough rest..gosh..it freaking exhausting lo..i guess no one would like to listen me complaning about how tired am i now and bla bla bla..but you know what..im still going to write about it..seriouslly..i think i have a slight fever right now..but i guess it is alright..suppose to go out and makan with King..but that fellow..never reply me until like 4 am in the morning..ask me to text him in the morning..which i did..but no reply..i guess he is sleeping dead right now..so here goes my plan....DUP..into the water..fine..il just get myself comfortable at home and online..i did not on my comp for like ages..it is basically rottening there..damn sad wei..

Anyway..training was fun, tiring ( but not as tiring as last week), and interesting..it is interesting because of the people there and the fact that we are three crazy trainees..ohya..let me intro somebody called 'mu tou' here..ahem..it is a fake name created by me and cat..so people wont realize we were talking about him..yes..he is the manager in our restaurant..and he is only 27 years old..hmm..i think that is consider as quite succesful at his age..well..he is not that handsome..dark and tanned..wearing specs..ermm..i shall call it descent looking..haha..people..im not praising him..thankyou..haha..he looks like those kind who would not joke around..always with that sour and plum face..which Diny called him no sense of humour..but what i realize now is..he is not actually..he has his own sense of humour..which will makes us stunned there and dont know what to respond..or in another way..'ZA DAO!!!' haha..and he is quite capable and i think he will susceed in the next few years..They said i was falling for him..because i was constantly he here he there,,,he he he and he..haha..NO!!! im so not..haha..there is a fine line between 'falling in love' and 'saluting/respect/pei fu/xin shang..haha..i like people to have target in their life..i like people to be ambitious..and i like people who have the capability to susceed..maybe he is like my idol or something..haha..so..please dont say im falling for him okay..

Talking about relationship..being in a relationship is solemly not easy..freaking hard at time..especially when im training..i told you guys that when im training..il get ultra super duper sensitive..il get mad with some small little things..that was me during my first training..NOW..though it still happens at times..but i try to make myself happy as much as possible..the fact that things are not as good as before..i felt like something is changing..may be it is me...or him..or we understand each other too much...sometimes..i just tend to know what he would react..why he is happy..and why he is upset..and he knows..that im sensitive at this point..he knows il get better after crying like a baby..and he will talk to me after the 'wohaa( me crying like some small kids)'..i need to talk...i need to talk to him..i want to talk to him..i dont know why but sometimes he just dont talk..it freaking frustates me to the max..its like im transparent infront of him..so i cried..

i thought of giving up at that point..cause i know that im tolerating with him for too long..people who knows me in the past should know that im not that kind of person..im a strong person..'nu qiang ren' is the best word to describe me..even to my ex..i did not tolerate that much..if im mad..that means i am..i wont find for you unless you say sorry and come back to me..yes..that was me in my first relationship..i know that he really loves me..and i took it for granted..i did not appreciate how good he was until i got into this relationship..i cant say that i regret..because i know that even if i did not break up..things wouldnt be easy for us..because of distance..and distance..So..thats a fullstop of my past..talking about now..i change my perspection..i tend to be very tolerating..and appreciate everything that i have..even giving chances by chances..i know him..i know he will be mad when i am mad..he is not that kind of guy who knows how to comfort people..he will just go speechless..he is very egoistic..he thinks that he is always right..which is true sometimes..SOMETIMES..but why he has so many flaws but i still stay to him??? probably because we have gone through alot..he always said..' if i dont care about you, would i still be staying with you? you know how i love someone..you know i dont tend to show it out.' yes..i know all these..but for me..as a normal girl..sometimes i just want him to show me something..not by me assuming what he thinks inside..i know i have flaws myself..i always make myself miserable..i think too much..which is not helping at all..i tend to make myself sad although it has nothing to be sad of..i always think that he is not good enough..he is bad..i admit that..i am like that..trying hard to change that..but when emo caught me..it will just happen..and i will cry again...

i am glad that i cried actually..atleast i still feel like a human..not like a smiling robot..a happy go lucky robot..working in a restaurant you have to be smiling all the time..even if you are tired until you can just faint there at that spot..you will still have to smile..this is the industry..whether you like it or not..i can see people who are freaking sulking but immediately change into a smiley face when the guest comes in..it happened to me before when i was in Pasific Regency..its like i have a double personality..So..im glad that i still can cry..