i recently bump into somebody's blog..apparently it is somebody from Taiwan, married to a guy...it was a very long blog about her marriage life...this story sets me on thinking because it kinda of reflected on myself..i am not saying that i am married...But...something similar...i don't know whether i am the one who is thinking too much or another way round...maybe i am asking for too much..or maybe i still do not know how to appreciate...
The point is...i know i cant be his top priority, i might just come after family, studies or even friends...but i just need him to know that i am his girlfriend..not just a puppet or even a maid...i am not there for nothing...i will always be there if he needs to talk..but he seldom speak about his problem to me...he might go and find other girls to talk to...but rarely me...it sounds stupid for most of the people, but being together with a guy who claims that he can only click with girls is not that easy after all...most of his friends are girls...so am i suppose to not be jealous..even a single bit??? maybe you will say that you should trust him...if you ask me whether i trust him or not...i might just pause for a second or two, and answer you' i do trust him..but......' i know bumping into his phone is very immoral..but...he doesn't like me to touch his phone..even just checking out his songs...he will said that it is his personal stuffs. so will i get suspicious??? of course...sometimes i just want to see what is so great in his phone...the result is...same thing that happens over and over again...sweet talk...if you sweet talk to me..i understand...but to other girls???? last time to his ex-es, now to somebody in college...of course it is heart wrecking...which girls wont??? some girls can...but for me..it is very tough for me to reach the stage where i can just ignore all those messages and trust him...i just don't understand why he can sent those sweet talk to other girls..i just don't understand..
maybe i am not matured enough or maybe i am not open enough??? i seriously don't know already...every time i think about this, tears would be swirling in my eyes...he always talk about personal life...okay..i give you your personal life...after i come back from work..we will eat dinner together...then he will do his own stuffs in internet..same goes to me...after that...i am too tired to stay awake and il just go to bed...he will come after he finish his work..by that time...im already deeply in sleep....i don't know what to say already...maybe this is normal....people tell me you have to appreciate what you have now...don't ask for too much or don't think too much...
being in a relationship is not easy as it looks...there is too much to be learn and too much to be experience...i don't want some pricey gifts, expensive dinner or anything to do with money, i just want to be love and being care by my love one...i never ask him to buy any gifts for me...i never ask him to pay for the meal by himself...that's why i don't spend a lot for myself...instead il be saving the money for us...for his birthday, or some special occasion.even i am very tired or what, sometimes il still stay awake so i can talk to him for a while...il ask the manager of chef to change my off day so i can spend some time with him...even just for a while will makes me happy...am i not thoughtful enough??? am i too naive??? Please don't think that i only think for myself..the truth is...i think very less for myself...
It is not a very big problem actually...but i really do hope that he will take some time and think of what i had said and think throughly...i don't just say all these for fun...i really meant it...can somebody just tell me what should i do???
1 comment:
cnt lar zl. Until after so long u still dont like the fact that he is memang 'like that' with the other girls u know. There are girls who can manage it while u r not that type.
u 2's thinkin r different,
u r those who wans to check a bf's hp, he doent allowed u to but it is not his fault, cos he oso not that type who will go and check a gf's hp, it means u 2 r not match lo~
then u oso cant accept the fact that brendan won put u at the 1st place ( surely most girls cant accept that ) , and too bad, if like u said, brendan doesnt seem like he can move u up 1 or 2 places. means u two also cnt click liao lo. so oso not suit loh
p/s: check songs oso personal stuffs ar???
gv u see an example me n wm buat last night ( A n B are someone we know but no good to write them here, tell u who r they next time):
A, she doesnt let B to check her hp when they pak toh last time,is bcos she got connection with lotsa other guys one ma,plus she oso doesnt expect hersf to b long with B, so she din let B check her hp and also din reli care abt B's hp.
compared with urs,ur case is different wor.
brendan said he soOo loves u,is like almost life time guarantee ad,(while A & B are not secure one)
he doesnt mind checkin urs nvm la, but what for don let u touch his?
well maybe he would think tht don let u see is becoz see liao u will lagi unhappy, he doesnt wan u to wooried, but too bad u have to tell him la, that doesnt work.
and i think hor, if he reli no things hidding behind,it menas he is simply think that everyone shld have their own privacy, then it also means that it is his personality which u cant change.
mayb reli bcos of one chinese educated n one english educated~
so how? u ownsf say la.
u said after u came home, u only had dinner wf him. and u don sound like u ppl were reli chattin a lot durin that dinner rite?
u r working, means whole day they din c each other ad 1 wor,
then come back ad oni one dinner then all do own stuffs ad rite~
what for??????
u r rite, shld have talked, n hacve some time together before goin back to own's room. he already have one whole morning n afternoon for his Private time ad what, i don think he needed sooOo much private time lo~
u said ur story same with the taiwan blog gal who had got married,u know y?
it goes beack to the same point,u ppl are meeting each other too much le. daily~ (thou oni a few hours per days)
i think guys may have thought that it is enaf for them, nv consider the gal's feelin, n PLUS u don kno how to express to brendan abt what u needed.
everything is my analysis from what u written lo. how? two of u still nit to deal with it ursf. discussion, negotiation and toleration. i don get it whether u have told him abt all ur feeling ad or not. or u can just ask him to read ur blog lo~
take care. anyth sms me. gambateh!
i m in a hurry now.
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