Split personality????

Split personality..yea...maybe a minor one.as most of the people knows...im in my industrial training right now...working in this industry means that you have to smile all the time...'good morning', 'how are you today?', 'have a nice day'...yes..i have to say that everyday...like everyday...Smile and be friendly..you have to leave a good image of the hotel to the guest...so just smile although you are in a damn bad mood...even though i am having a real bad day, i still have to smile and act like i am okay...then after i leave my hotel, il be emo again..at first i thought that i was okay with this, but after one month...it really strikes me to the limit...i had cried a lot recently...a lot...i did not realize that it is not normal..until one day i cried...and brendan told me you were not like that last time..last time you were laughing all the time..now...you are crying all the time....SHIT!!! what the hell is wrong with me???? one conclusion...im stressing myself...i really have to admit that...i am so tired mentally and physically....

my recently training uniform...

Me in formal during the 1st day of my training....

This is my Soi23( restaurant ) uniform....

Thats my kitchen uniform...

my 2008 birthday

My 2008 birthday...it started quite well actually...most of my friends do remember to wish me..atleast those that really care about me...thx for remembring my birthday...Muakxx..love you guys..actually..i was a little bit disappointed..i was actually waiting for somebody to wish me...yea i know i have a boyfriend now, but it is normal to aspect somebody that was once so close to you to wish you right...i am not saying that i regret or whatsoever, but i just aspect him to be somebody to wish me in the first place...i thought he had forgotten..but around 6.33am in the morning, he did called me and i didn't manage to pick up that call because i was is wandering around in my dreams...after that, he did sms and wish me...he said that he thought that i was asleep and didnt want to wake me up..so he decided to called me the first thing in the morning...hmm...quite thoughtful actually..but too bad i was having my off on that day...As for Brendan...he did wish me and teman me for quite some time...after that we are off to bed...( dont think of anything inappropriate..we went back to our own room.haha.) i slept until around 11 in the morning...come on la..im working fro the whole week already, of course im tired..Then we went for breakfast and he went to his class..left me alone in the college..i went to the library and borrowed some books and then went home...did some laundry, mop my room etc...then i read my newspaper....PEOPLE..u tell me la..how pathetic can my birthday be by doing housechores and reading newspaper...BUT...he came back around 4 or something...he bought me a haagen daaz ice-cream cake..we did manage to eat s few spoons then he have to rush back to college..u know what i did after that...i played computer game...Star Craft...OH my god...then i spend around 30 min thinking of how pathetic my birthday can be..its really very poathethic im telling you...After mourning for my pathetic and sad day...i finally change and went for the badge 29 orientation night...because i dont want to spend the whole night thinking of how sad my birthday can be...so i decided to go to college and stay with the crowd...another reason...i want to be by his side...who doesnt want somebody that is so important to you to be by your side on your birthday???Then h sent me home...because he wanted me to open the present he bought for me...it was a HUGE bear for memory lane...my god..it is so freaking nice to hug man....LOVE ya baby...i know he did spend alot for my birthday...So...that's the end of my birthday.YUPE..that's the end...if you want to say surprise...i didnt really saw any surprise......all over....my birthday this year is kind of boring....minus the bear and the cake...MY CAKE....i did said we only manage to eat a few spoons right??? The cake melted when i came back from Seremban....Im like so freaking sad...because it is haagan Daaz cake....SAD....Honestly...my last year's birthday is still the best...it was full of surprises despite the fact that i was in NS....
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My update of my current life..

Well..im currently doing my industrial training in Pasific Regency now..what i can say now is..my life suckxx!!! Well..everyday im repeating my same old routine..wake up at 5.45 to get ready myself..then have to catch the 6.31 train..then have to walk to the monorail and take the train to Raja Chulan..After getting frozen in the monorail..i have to walk for ten min to reach my hotel..change to my uniform..then start my shift at 8..breakfast service until 10.30..then mise en place for lunch service...break..then lunch service,,,dinner mise en place..finish work..go home..soooo..basicly im doing it every single day except for my off day..how sad is that????? HOW SAD!!!!yea..i know everybody have to go through this..its normal if you want to work in this industry..i understand that..im just tired...i have to stand for 8 hours straight..what's worst is on the first day of my training..i wore the heels i just bought from NOSE..and OH MY GOD!!!! it really did killed my foot!!! i wore it for two days and i have blister here and there..my skin actually did peel off and got puss after a few days..and guess what..i still have to stand for 8 hours although my feet is like killing me..i got so pissed and i went to Swank and bought a 90 bucks heels..the normal price is 200 bucks!!! HOA,,,but it is really comfortable..sooo..just spend a bit..well..my leg is recovering right now..lucky..well..felt like damm sad because my birthday is just like two weeks away..and i think i have to work on that day..brendan have to be at the orientation night because he is the commitee or something..that will take him the whole night..soooo...and im in KL..cnt celebrate with family..boyfriend..friends in seremban..KL o training..its just sooooo sad...every year it has to be like that..i can the best was last year..yea..last year..i was really surprise..like REALLY surprise.alot of things happened on that day and i dare to say that il never forget that..hmm..but this year..HAIZ...HAIZ..actually i was really looking forward to it..but the reality is..just forget about it..its just a birthday,,nothing much..ya right..im just trying to ease my pain a little bit..oh ya..my Chinese New Year is going to suckx as well..really sucks..i think il only have two days off which suckx to the max!!!ish,,but i cant really do anything right???haiz..ohya..and my valentines..what the hell...il be in the kitchen..and was informed that we will be like super busy..shift from 7am to 8pm..what the hell...its just suckxx la..everything just got stucked because im in training..ish...well..i really fo hope that ill get through this and be back in college as soon as possible..hmm...

summary of year 2007!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! i actually wanted to write my summary before year 2008..bt..miss it..soo...just forget about it..hmm..what a nice start for year 2008..counting down with my dearest friends in msn..then he actually did sms me on time although the sms reached me like 12 min after 12..but never mind..im happy enough..and alex did called me..what a surprise..what a good start for me..YES!!!! il work it through this year man!!!

okay..i can still remember last year( kind of weird saying last year though it seems like just yesterday) at the same day..i was preparing myself for NS camp..sad is the right word to describe what i felt at that time..come on..people celebrating new year and i have to go into the miserable camp..how sad..But NS turned out to be a great experience for me..minus the early fall in..the cold water..the ever oily food and the dusty dorm etc. yea..it has been like one whole year now..but everything seems to be so clear in my mind..il never forget whatever i had encounter in the camp..especially the people..(some of you may know who im referring to..so i dont have to say it out..hehe)..thats all about NS..

then stepping in to college is another thing that really change my life..im taking hotel management..something that most of the people dont aspect me to do..but this is my own decision and i dont regret a single bit. Honestly speaking..this course is not as easy as it looks..u have to work your ass off because if you dont perform, you wont score high..yes..SPM i did scored full As..so what..there are people who are better than me here..soo..still have to work my ass off..being in a college means u will meet all kinds of people and u will be exposed to all kinds of things. "things"..yes..that "thing"..haha..all the while ive been caged in a girls school..so i basically knew nothing about that "thing"..dont be surprise..im really nob in this "thing"..aiya..just forget about it..back to college..talking about people..yes..ive met people who smokes..who drinks and who constantly changes BF..its KL..what do you aspect..but Ive never stepped myself in any clubs in KL until now..im seriously serious..NEVER..maybe because i think that club is just not the place for me to hang out..especially during midnite..i might just fall asleep..and Im nob..ul never know what will happened in a club..i just have to wait for the right time..

then ofcourse my relationship with brendan..dolores just said 3/4 of my blog is about him..haha..well..i just like to write it here..so..forgive me my friends..yupe..there are ups and downs..happy and sad moments..from the beginning until now..it is really a roller coaster ride..i was very worried at the beginning because our relationship is like soooo shaky. yes.. the EX problem..i hate it..but im trying to let myself to get use to it now..i have to..and after dealing with all those EX problem..i have to deal with my own problem..haha..i have to admit that my thinking are still very childish..a little little bit il be mad at him..so he was fed up when we were in jusco that day..he was like really angry..and yea..im angry too..im angry because he is angry with me..how childish..actually im just sad that he did not think of what to give me during xmas..its sucks enough that we cant celebrate it together..and what worst is it is our 6th months anniversary..only 6 months..but for me it is important..he did said that whatever you want you just take and il pay for it..i dont want it to be this way..i want him to choose from his heart..how childish is my thinking??? then he explain to me this and that..and i cried..yes..in jusco..Oh My God!!! i just cant help it..because i realize that i am wrong and he kinda scolded me..i am not angry because he scolded me.infact..im glad he did..because that really tipped me off..as a conclusion..though it sounds like we had alot of problems together..but our relationship is growing stronger everyday..and i hope for year 2008..it would be better..cross my fingers..

my eyes are telling me that i have to go and sleep now..its almost 2am..what a miracle that i am still awake..keke..well....so long to year 2007 and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 2008..here i come..

gosh..when is my damn interview for hilton??? ish..so freaking frustrating...tired of waiting and worrying..next week is my year end exam..GOSh!!! stress like shit man!! that day i just burst out crying and laughing in one shot..cant help it you know..bren was shocked and wanted to whack me adi for being so freaking uncontrollable. seriously i cant control myself at that moment..probably it is because i am cursedly stress out recently..or maybe i just need some way to release my unstable emotions..hmm...year end exam sucks to the max.. sooooo many subjects were crowded in one day..how am i going to survive ar..my god..somebody just come and save me!!!wah!!!

my cousin sis's wedding...

the 1st one to get married in my generation!!!!hmm...a big big congratulations o!!!!!

The weird thing is everyone thought i was getting married...they were congratulation my dad..what???? come on..im just 18 years old??? 18??? well..who knows i might just get married next year..haha..nah..that would be way too early..but the dinner in seremban is nothing compared to the one in singapore..i think..this thursday im going to singapore..hip hip hooray!!!..wedding in a church..every girls fantasy...haha..well..as for me...i do hope that my wedding is small..and yet romantic..haha..it has to be white n pink!!!


okie!!! here's a picture of me and my family!!!! my mum ar..really dunoe how to take picture man!!! and ah xiong..haiz..another amateur in taking picture..sad sad..haha..

here goes my siblings with my aunt..and my cousin sis..hehe..ah xiong still dunoe how to take pictures..
Yes!!! he is definitely my boyfriend..quite cute right??hehe..he is JUN..my 2nd bro...

and yes..my another boyfriend..gosh...i do have alot of boyfriend...my eldest bro..LIANG...
YES!!! he is the oldest boyfriend i have....my grandfather..he is so cute..he said he wanted to take picture with me..haha..insisting he is my oldest boyfriend..okie..why not??

tired b sick...

im bloody tired and sick now..what the hell..i can hardly talk and speak probably today..ish..blame the fried soft shell crab and baskin robins ice cream fondue...and..i woke up bloody early in the morning bcz of period pain..what the hell..suffer suffer suffer...

stucked in the middle...

these few days i realize that my group is separating into two groups..and obviously i know that the problem is between who and who..im kinda disappointed actually..i always thought that our group might stay strong..but the truth is..we are not..there are alot of problems here and there..this dont trust this..that dont like this..ARGH!!! why cant they just be a little more patient, forgiving and dont keep everything in their heart.. is it so hard to do that???maybe somebody is talking behind my back also..i dont know..and i dont want to know..there are things that i am not satisfied with..i am not happy with...sometimes they just take things for granted..like it is my duty to do so..is it so hard to say tq??? they just ask for my help..then just take it as if it is theirs...why cant you just open your mouth and help yourself??? what pissed me is people copied my work..and yet..they gained higher marks than i do..i spend how long to do all those and yet,,they just took how may min to copied my work...if i want to voice out..i would have done it long time ago..but then i just forget about it and move on with my life..i did not complain to them..so why they cant do that as well??? why??? people..just dont put everything in your heart.. and dont think so much..what is the point of thinking so much???? seriously i dunoe...

something to write about...

hmm..gt hung up with my ptptn prob this morning..sucker!! yesterday..i walked to sunway pyramid..yes...WALK!!! just because tat lady told me i need a stupid hasil stamp..okie..fine..il go n get it done..went to the post office..then the worker told me one of the stamp cost 10 bucks!!!! wtf!!! 10 bucks man..for one damm stamp..so spend 30 dollars for 3..fine..then this morning..i went happily to pass up the form..i waited for 10 minutes for that old lady to turn up..that's fine..then she told me i need 4 STAMPSSSS!!! she said you can go n get another stamp and pass it to me tomolo!!! WTF!!!! come on lady..i need to walk to sunway again to buy that 10 dollar stamp..then..brendan n his dad came..she totally ignore me and went to him..shit!! ofcourse i smiled n say hi to his dad..then i walked off...full of hatred and anger...i was damm pissed and i threw my books on the table and scolded cb..gosh..im getting use to old this bad words adi..which is very very bad..hmm..then brendan told me my parents need to sign n each n every page of the damm rules..oh my god...what the hell..im not planning to go back to seremban this week..and now..im force to..fine..luckily eugene can get the stamp for me..if not..im killing people already in the college..thx to him..

me cat and carmen skipped english today..haha..for the sake of our plant n premises test..well..we did took our time to study for that subject...i dont want to flunk any test man..luckily..the test was okie..not as tough as i expected although i cnt really remember everything...atleast it was okie..

recently..im eating like a fat pig..eating nonstop..the famous amos biscuit in the cupboard was so tempting..once i see it..il take around 4-5 piecis..gosh!!! im seriously growing fatter nowadays..ish ish!!! well..maybe i should grow fatter...
recently i did receive a comment from a friend regarding to my pic in friendster,he said that im too expose..people will think that im not a virgin..that if im tat hot..he will go after me..ermm...he said he was joking..then alot la..well..wat i think is..im trying to be myself as far as i can..being sexy is not really my thing..ermm..mayb in my pic..tat was just acting my dear..i can say that i dun really care about wat people will think of me..cz they dont koe me..bt...sometimes..i do care..if you are thinking that im tat kinda gal who is too open and always go for clubbing...then you are totali wrong about me...even until now..i hvt even step into a club...yes..i hvt..not that i dont have the chance..but i just dont really feeling like going now..maybe if im suffering some really great stress and needed something to comfort me..il go..bt now..na..just forget about it..wait until i have the money and time..so people..pls dont judge a person by their cover..not everybody is what they look like..

of course..there are people who you dont know whether they are fake or whatsoever..for me..as my friend..you should know how to respect me..yes..you can make fun of me..joke and tease..but sometimes..i cnt be patient and ignorant all the time..for me..you know he is my bf..so you should know what you should do and what you should not do..im not trying to be over sensitive or what..but this is a simple rules..respect..there are many people in this world that you can find and talk..why him?? you should know that what you did..is disrespecting..ok..im telling myself that maybe you think that he is the only guy that you can actually talk to..maybe he understands you the best..fine..i accept it..but pls dun say that you miss here miss there..dear here darling here..i just cant accept it..i did not say face to face..but then..im actually not really happy with it..sorry for being over exaggerated..which girl would not react in such way??? tell me...if friends..im still fine..but ex...ex...i know that i should trust him...and yes..i do trust him..but i just dont trust her..i just dont..i just dont like to deal with ex's problem..and sad to say that i HAV to face with alot of ex prob..not me..bt his..first..his lastest ex..which broke my heart..sucks to the max..then now..my own friend..which is his first love..and hers as well..think back..i did actually tried to bring them back together..but it didnt work out..hmm..maybe i did a wrong move last time..come on..who knew that il be with him..that time i was with alex..i didnt really think until that deep..hmm..good news for him that he doesnt need to deal with the ex prob..because i only had one bf before this..hmm..and another reason is because he is in sabah...hmm...good for him la..nobody to make him jealous..hehe..

Pic of the day!!!

HMm..candid pic taken from my dear dolores!! what am i thinking...why my face so fat la!!!

taking pic in the changing room again!! im a changing room queen!!!

Apa la!!! think you are still small ar..stand on your feet man,..dun tel people that i buli u ar!!

Pls la..stop posing like there's no ending man..im too seirous in posing until dolores cnt stop laughing!!

o my best best buddies!!! love o of you gals!!

POsing with our handphones??

Its buttie time!!!

Pretending we are doing our own stuffs in front of the mirror!!

Yes!! this is the make up room we are taking pictures in!! wakaka..eventually, there's one kakak who wanted to curi tulang here..bt then too bad..6 leng lui wanna take pic la..shooh!!! haha..soli la..long time din become so perasan adi..actualliy there are more pic..bt then im so lazy to upload adi..so..til next time!!

i miss my frens!!!

GOSH GOSH!!! i miss o you guys..kar woon..eunice..wai mae..joo ee.. n dolores!!! i din reali realize that until we went out yesterday!!! it was a whole lot of fun..taking pic in the toilet..just sitting down n haging out in eunice's car...woA!!! i miss my high school time!! i miss talking out loud like nobody's business in the class..hanging out in the RC room..planning for o those activities n meeting..curi tulang n doing choir n RC stuffs in physic's lab..hitting those high pitch until no more voice can come out from my throat..rounding the classroom..standing in front of the whole school..making fun of ourselves..marching under the hot sun( amazingly..i do miss that)..chaos in the RC room everytime there is a marching competition..the smell of the sunblock..sports day..NGO..first aid compettion..choir competitions...gosh..i reali miss that good old time man..everything..

then NS..hmm..i actually do miss NS..haha..well...living in a dorm with 20 over mates are not easy..super cold water to bath..i'l shout every time the water touches my body..haha..cz it is freezing cold..washing my clothes..eating in the dorm..boiling water for my dear old milo..haha..i have to wake up so freaking early to go for the stupid perbarisan..sing negarakui..march..senaman pagi..what the..then we'l have to go the the CB class..shit..boring like dunoe what..then afternoon we have all those activities..marching..kayak..jungle trekking..alot n alot..i actually do miss that..and ofcourse all the people that i knew from NS..nice people..ofcourse..my ex..hmm..there are alot of unforgetable memories n experiences n NS..GOSH!!! miss it.

college life..hmm..i will miss these days after i start working..for sure..i cnt say that i my life is very boring now..but not as interesting as before...and that is for sure..sooo...somebody pls come and make my life more interesting now!!!!

i like changing room!!!

it is kinda weird, but recently i had developed a real strange habit, which is taking pictures in the changing room..hmm...what is wrong with me??well..it is just that i am a super poor student and i have no money to buy nice clothes, so what i can do is to try on the clothes and take picture with it...brilliant right???haha..i am so proud of myself...bravo to me!!! it is weird that people start asking me, r u taking picture in the changing room again??? im like..yar...haha..bt it is real fun..well..maybe you guys could try it someday..

Trying to be myself again...

i really have to admit that im losing myself recently because i think of him too much..I realize that these few days, but it really did hit my mind after he told me personally yesterday..hmm...I have to think more about myself and not by putting him in my 1st priority..Actually i did see some improvement in our relationship..Normally we do talk, but just normal talking..we did started to talk things out from our heart which is a big step for both of us..it is kind of hard for me to spill out everything that is in my heart, although i did not look at him when i said that, but it does feel good to have no barriers between us..this is good..im glad..

Trying to act like a model bt failing...

tell me this is not hot!!! haha...i seriosli love this dress!!!

LOVE this dress..clubbing dress..its damm hot...lets go n dance man..

Its bikini time for me and Diny...Woa!!! HOT HOT!!!

oh my god!!! i miss you so much!!

OH MY GOD!!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH NOW!!!! gosh gosh...what the hell..crap!!! this is hell man..what has got into me???? ARGHHHHH!!!!!! can somebody just come and save me???? i need help man!!!! give me something to do so i wont think so much....KLL ME!!!!!!!hon....i really really miss you.....

getting fatter ar home!!

Back in Seremban for my raya holiday..gosh..the fridge is like full of cakes ans all those fattening food. I just cant stop myself from indulging into all those sweet stuffs. I am sooooo dead.I really don't care already. I dont really eat when i am in KL because I am lazy to go down and eat, lazy to cook and basically lazy to eat. So, I am trying to feed myself with vegetables to replace the vitamins that i have lost throughout the whole week. I miss my television and astro here. In KL, my daily routine is like go to college, go home, online and sleep. Sucks right?? Sad...

I am seriously considering telling my parents about me having a boyfriend. But those words just seems to get stucked in my mouth and not coming out. So..what should i do?? Actually my parents already knew that i had a boyfriend, but they just kept quiet and asking bits by bits. I think they just want to hear it from me. But......Arghh!!! it is like so hard to start off this topic you know.. not easy.. maybe i just need more time..

Back to normal!!

Yeah yeah!! everything is settled.. everything is back to normal right now. I am happy and he is happy as well..sooo..im a so so so glad..thank god man...

Finally i went to Garden Mid Valley today. High class and porche are the words to describe this place. There are a lot of things that you can't find in other places and the price..haha..costs a fortune.. But there are many cute and interesting little things over there. nice to see, kill me if you want me to buy. haha. i am huge supporter of the miser club you know. But i did spend around 18 bucks for a chocolate dipped waffle in Baskin Robbins Cafe. It was ice creamlicious!! yumm yumm.. the waffle did match really well with the ice cream as it did not become lumpy at the bottom because of the ice cream. But i did made a wrong decision as the strawberry topping did cover the world class choc ice cream's taste. Try eating it with your love one and it would be a very enjoyable and yet sweet moment.. So overall, Baskin Robins RockSSS!!!

Results and results...

Yeah!! our term 2 results are finally posted up..My results are not bad..better than what i expected. There are a few things that i am not satisfied with. My practicals!!!! Ah Chong ar Ah Chong!!! Why are you so stingy in giving high marks??? If you could just give me a 16 or 16.5, i could get higher average...What did i did wrong la?? Chong Chong ar Chong Chong..And here goes our restaurant practical...ARGHH!!! i thought that i could score higher but it turned out to be same as my kitchen...what the...Francis...Francis..Yes..my Math. I am not quite sure where did it went wrong, but..i am disappointed with my performance. Sucks!!

But overall i am happy with my results. Maybe i am a theory girl after all. My theory subjects really did pulled me up, except for my accounts!!! still hated it although i did not failed that particular subject. I HATE ACCT!!!! it is the worst enemy in my whole life!!! Maybe i really do not have the brains for it, so people who are taking accounting out there, i am sorry, but i really hate accounts!!!

So F n B or RDOD???? Shit.. i am really confused right now. I do look like a RDOD person but choosing RDOD means getting stucked in Rooms division forever...i like F n B but my marks prove that i am not good in it. So.. follow my instints are the reality??? GOSH!!! Someone just help me out!!!

About understanding...

Being understanding is really very crucial in a relationship...in both party, not only one side..i don't want to simply give up without giving my best shot. It is beyond my expectation that i would take this relationship so seriously that it even affects my everything. I seldom cried in front of everyone, but today, i did. I seldom tolerate with someone so much in my entire whole life. So, i just hope that we could just sit down and talk things through although it is not easy for me to do that. I will do that and i will be more considerate and understanding in the future...