Im done with this week

Today..haha.. *bittery smile.. is a good day..
Everything started off with a not so good sleep..i can only fall asleep at 7am..
meaning..even flu pill is not helping me..shit..
Then i have decided to skip my first 9 am class..because im totally drained off..
then rushed to college..to settle jervin's thingy..

everything was fine..in class..
Then..we have a short meeting after our class..
that is when everything turns bad..
I did not screamed for quite some time already..
and yea..I was partially yelling..
Everything was out of control..just because of that not-so-important 'jeans' issue..
urghh..
I know..it is hard to work in three groups..
especially when we are three groups with three different perspectives..
If there is any problem..just shoot it out..and we will try and solve it..
Im not trying to be a jerk..or some gila kuasa person..
I just want everyone to work in a team..to make this a success..
No matter how hard i tried..
the thing that i fear the most is starting to come out of the water..
I guess that is what people said..no pain..no gain..

I need to get out of the house..and throw away all the shitty things that are happening to me throughout this whole week...
and tomorrow..I will go boogie!!!!
70's Saturday Night Boogie Fever!!!

Happy Birthday DINY

Today is Miss Diny's Birthday!!!!
Happy Birthday DINY..we love ya..muakxx
we went to Red Box and celebrate her birthday...
haha..it was fun having everyone around..especially the guys..
You guys ROCKSSSSS..haha..
yes wayne..you too..ahha..

Eugene is singing 'Right here waiting'
OH MY GOD.we are like dead silence when he starts singing..haha
Eugene..way to go!!!!

The girls..Cat, Nikki , me and Diny!!!

All the girls..

Some random pictures

Anyone in the mood for Halloween??
God..i look like some phantom of the opera or something..haha..
Next..here comes Commando Zhi Lin--------

muahaha..actually the hat is like way bigger than my head..but its cute isnt it??? my outfit doesnt match though..haha..

Alright..something that 'fantastic' had done to me..oh my god..he just grab my face..and said that he wanted to draw a love on me..but pity me..dont dare to move around so his love wont be like cacated..hmm..soo..here's the work of art..deng deng deng----

This wasnt suppose to be happening actually..but sui ren..grab my hand..and start drawing a skull on my fist..haha..i cnt really move much becz 'fantastic' is drawing on my face..soooo..pity me lo..

What a night

Yesterday..a whole bunch of us attended Chermaine's Birthday Party..

The food was great..alot and alot of 'sao rou'..haha..
drinks??? haha..Maybe too much...

Maybe everyone was stressed out and having some problem of their own..
soo..quite a few people were drunk..
Even i drank a little too much..
Problems??? i have tonnes..tonnes and tonnes..
Can i handle it??? i hope i can..
HEY!!! stop being emo..haha..let me proceed with some pictures..

this dog is SOOOOOO cute..haha..wish i have one..

two drunken guys..muahaha..and im the cool one..Group photo..DH27..

the ex GROUP 3..

After that..we went up to look out point to have some fresh air..since most of us are quite emo at that time..soo..a little bit of fresh air and a nice night view shall save the day..

the view is way better than this picture..but anyway..it is still breathtaking..

for me..it is a good place to relax my mind..but maybe the after effect of alchohol is kicking in..therefore im a little bit emo at that time..
Yes..i have to set my personal life aside..and concentrate more in my food promotion..
whatever it is..food promotion is the most important thing now..

When i went home..i cried my lungs out..like a 'siao za bo'..haha..
but hey..i manage to sleep soo peacefully after that..that is a good start..

Thoughts of mind

honestly..i LOVE this teaser..

Everyone is not prefect..neither do i..i will do mistakes without me knowing..
I therefore apologize to everyone..everyone that is unhappy about certain things..
that i am sorry..sorry for my ignorance..

Whether you are a leader or a committee..everyone makes mistake Blaming each other would not make anything easier.. It is hard to please everyone..to make everyone agree with whatever you are doing.. no matter what it is.. there will be flaws..flaws that other people will take and point it at you..

For me..everyone is the same..whether you are the manager or a director..or a committee..
you have your own responsibilities..therefore..work on it..work as a team..
if you made mistake..suck it up..and work hard to change it..
everyone work as a whole..
If there is anything..please voice it out..dont keep it in your heart..

So people..please support our group's food promotion..
coming soon..

DH 27 Group 1,2,3 Food Promotion----( Last Night in Prison )

DH 27 Group 1,2,3 Food Promotion----( Last Night in Prison )

Please be informed that the food promotion is postpone to 29th November 2008..
The reason for the postpone is there will be a lunch function on that day..
Therefore..the college decided to postpone it to 29th November...
Please pass the message around..

For the Board of Directors and assistant BOD, please stay back on next Wednesday, 1pm for a meeting session at annex..
Please get prepared for the meeting..thank you..

Im back

OKAY..im back!!! haha..sorry..but i was seriously undergoing some serious self conflicts..
yes..and it lasted for two nights..two sleepless nights..sobs..
it was HORRIBLE..
i can not sleep at all...
and when u can not sleep..you will start thinking of all sorts of crap thoughts which are unhelpful at all..

but yea..i think im over it now..
and i hope that i can sleep later..keke..fingers cross for me thank you...

--FOOD PROMOTION--
=
stress
=
sleepless nights
=
panda eyes
=
zhi lin now

crap..haha..but its alright..still got time to work on everything..soo..just hope that everything goes on well for our food promotion..

zhi lin..

dont be emo already..stop thinking of thought that are totally unhelping..stop giving yourself hope..start opening your heart to other people..whether they are friends or your families..stop making people around you to be frusfrated and mad at you..stop doing stupid things to create attention..and stop blaming yourself..

alright..thats all for tonight..good night Malaysia..

If i have a choice

IF I HAVE A CHOICE

i would choose to be emotionless now
i would choose to feel nothing..
i would choose to be an emotionless robot

I want to be able to love someone freely
i want to be loved

i want everything to be normal and simple
i want to understand everything
i want to be treated fairly

i don't want to be sad anymore
i don't want to feel empty inside
i don't want to be lonely
i don't want....
i don't want to be neglected

yes.if i have a choice..
i would not have done the things that i had done before
and the ending would not be the same now..

but that if i have a choice..
now..i have no choice..
no choice

self torturing freak

i just hate the fact that when i reach home..no one is around..i mean in Mentari..
I thought i would able to NOT go home alone therefore i was rushing like some mad cow..
BUT yeah..disappointment when i open the door and the room is filthy clean..
which means his parents was here ( my guess which is normally correct..hmphh)
..and yeah..
Melvin is no where to be seen..same goes to the WHOLE house..
lonely is the word to describe my feelings now..shit..

Suddenly i have the urge not to go home..DAMN it..i feel so shitty-ly shitty now..
i just HATE going back alone..or coming back alone..
which reminds me AGAIN..that i am lonely..and lonely..CRAP...
sometimes..i would be GLAD..like damn glad to be able to be alone..
i can go wherever i want..i can do whatever i want..without thinking who to please or who to not..but yeah..those are the words to make myself feeling less pathetic than i am now..

yes i know..i shouldn't be soo desperate or whatever..but can't just let me like mourn a little bit for me to feel better..yeah..this is a public blog thingy..but i dont care wei..just think whatever that you want to think..

i HATE being alone at this point..and its raining now..how am i suppose to walk to the station..URGHHHH...
i know..there are friends around me..and im glad that there are many..
but when i finish class..on my way back home..
when im going back and fourth to Seremban alone..
when i stare at my phone blindly..no messages..
when i have to be jealous while watching other couples being sweet in the college..
when im looking at them..and thinking about myself..
when im watching a movie..and missing the fact that there is a person that i can lean my head on last time..and now..i CANT..
when im stucked in the rain and someone actually sms me where am i??
when im missing someone terribly all in a sudden and what i need to do is just sms and tell him..( not by staring at my phone..and thinking there is no point sms-ing)
when i need to complain about how terrible is my day..
when i need to hug someone horribly..
when i want somebody to hold my hands and telling me that he will always be there for me..
when i need to shoulder to cry on...

that is when loneliness strucks me..
that is when i feel like i needed someone to be there..

i dont know is it better this way..
or it is better when it was at a sensitive stage..
i hate missing people..
i hate missing someone that i know i would never be with...
i hate missing someone that i can never miss...

now i realize something that i have done wrong in the past..
the space..yes..i did not give enough space..
now..i can see that it will be much more better if i had realize it earlier..
but what can i do???

NOW..it seems that im torturing myself again..how great..
seriously...someone has to come up..or magically appear in my life now..
i need someone..i really need..

stress!!!

Today..feeling a little bit..ermm no..very stressed..haiy..i dont know why..
but everything just started to strike me today..damn it
one thing that i want..is to do my job..that is all..
i just want to make sure that this food promotion is going to be a hell out of success and leaves some hoo-haa among the juniors..
So...no offense or whatsoever..but..yeah..i only have one pair of ears..
not that i don't want to listen to other people's opinion, but once the decisions has been made..it is final..we can not afford any changes at this point..we need to get it going..
So..just give out your ideas now to make the theme a success..
nothing is impossible at this stage..Soo..yea..just work things out...

Maybe i am not as capable as i thought i am..maybe im just too soft..
but il try my best to be a good manager..someone that other people will respect..
i will try my best...cross my fingers..

ASSIGNMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god..
let me count yea..English..three assignments..
Law..two dramas
French...Essay
Restaurant Tech..one assignment

OH MY GOD..that can really kill most of my time wei..and my REPORT...gosh..
there are SOOOOOO many works to be done..and so little time..yeeeeeeeeerrrrrr...
im hating college..stress stress...

i just hope that i know what im doing at this point..
No more giving myself hope or whatsoever..
i just hope that i can be happy..thats all..

college madness

Sorry for not updating as often as i normally used to...
Well..what am i doing recently??

Tuesday: Dinner Service..when i reach home..i would be too lazy to do anything..tired..

Wednesday aka today: Class at 9.30am..damn it..accounts some more..what the hell..

Thursday: WORST!!!!!! 8.30 class..BAH..that is crazy..but it is Law..i like that lecturer..haha..

Friday..hmm..another 9 o'clock class..oh my god..

ISHHHHHHH...screwed all the morning classes...Well..today class finish at 1 actually..but im tired like hell..maybe because of the food promotion discussions..it kills alot of my brain cells..ohh...forgoten to tell you guys that we finally got our theme finalize..which is----

Last night in prison
you deserve better

ahuh ahuh..that is our theme..haha..it is not ALL about prison..we are not going to serve like typical JAIL food..curry chicken and rice..but yar...it is going to be some comtemporary fusion thingy..depends on the culinary art students..soo..me just cross my fingers and hope for the best..hmm..there are ALOT of planning and things to do..the list is like growing longer and longer in my brains..soo...MY GOD..haha..my brain is like so packed now..thats why i just went and sleep after my lunch..

so now..my IT report is going to be sooooooo screwded..and im dead..haha..soo..from today..im going to rush and finish it up..just hope that i dont have to bring my laptop home..

nothing much in my love life or whatever..normal..but today me realize i need to pull out..and SOME rumours saying that we are back together..we are SOOOO not..just because he came for mys service..it doesnt mean that we are back together..just because we are not enemies..doesnt mean that we are back on..soo..people..dont think so much...haha..and yea..what SOMEBODY said is darn true..me..sudah tak ada ubat boleh diubati..SOOO..go and find a ubat for me...GO GO..u know who you are..hahah..

okie..going to do my report now..NOW..

tagged

TAGGED!!!!
tagged by wayne

1. What's the relationship of you and her/him ?

hmmm..interesting..something that other people cnt know..muahaha

2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him ?

kind..got yi hei...drive dangerously ( muahaha)..funny at times..patient

3. The most memorable things she/he have said to you

got meh??? i dont recall any..haha..(wayne ar..you fan xing la..haha)

4. The most memorable things she/he had done for you

back me up when someone that i hate came for service...he took out his paring knife to protect me..haha


5. If she/he became your lover, you will..

huh???ermm..oh okie??? i dunoe..haha

6. If she/he become your enemy, you will..

NOOOOOOOOOO.....


7. If she/he become your lover, she/he has to improve on..

actually nothing much...he is a very good guy...maybe drive more carefully..haha


8. If she/he become your enemy, the reason is..

ermm...maybe im too blur???haha


9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is ?

hahaa..touch his belly...joking


10. The overall impression of him/her is...

He is a great friend to have...probably one of the most caring guy..i think..haha..he is like a elder bro to me..though i dont call him ah gor..haha..but yeah..he can be a good brother..


11. How do you think the people around you feel about you ?

ermm..blur?? nob in love..thin?? you guys tell me la..haha

12. The character of you for yourself is ?

stubborn

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?

stubborn..i hate myself for hurting myself..and let myself being hurt..


14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is ?

Still me..without the things is 13..haha


15. For the people who care about you and likes you, say something about them.

well..if you like me..TELL ME..haha..in a desperate mode now..haha..joking la..just me honest to me..thats all..

Ten people to tag [according to alphabetical order following my link list]

Kar Woon
Michelle ( Roomie )
Michelle Tan
Philbert
King
Hui
Cat
Sean
Louise
Gilbert



Who is no.2 having a relationship with ?

no one...

No.3 is a male or female ?

female

If no.7 and no.10 were together, would it be a good thing ?

NOOOO...i dont think so..ahha

How about no.5 and no.8 ?

hell yeah..haha

What is no.1 studying about?

Mass com

Is no.4 single ?

ahah...u ask him to answer that..ahha

Say something about no.6 ?

ermm...goodluck with counting money for food promo..haha

DONT GET SICK

Talking about no one caring when im sick..
Actually..i felt really content after that..haha..after i blogged...
Well..my housemates were great..my Friends in college were great..
and yea..i was all wrapped up the whole yesterday in LAYERS of blanket..so i can sweat...
and yea..i DID NOT SWEAT..how ahem..'great'..
well..i was told that my body temperature was like booooming high..like an oven it seems..
so yea..thanks for taking care of me the whole night..i really appreciate it..thanks..

THEN..the next day..which is this morning..i woke up dizzy like hell..not enough sleep..and i still have fever..went to college like a zombie..whatever that the lecturer said..i was like..stoning..headache like hell..the only thing that i want to do..is to sleep...sooo...me decided to go n see the doc..and yea...COST ME RM42.00...what the hell..just three medicine...cough syrup..fever and antibiotic...with no MC..i forgotten to ask la actually..haha..and thanks sui ren for temaning me..haha..u r soooo good..keke..
so yea..and my tongue was still very bitter-ish until now..i have no idea why...whatever i eat also like tasteless..damn it..eeeeeee...i hate being sick...

but anyway..im feeling way better now..medicine..ofcz lo..so expensive...BAH...
so people..dont be like me...drink alot alot of water..then eat NORMALLY..
and treat yourself better....yes..haha..

sick sick..i hate being sick

Just came back from MAMMA MIA...its GREAT..
god..making me missing choir soooooo much....
Mamma Mia..Dancing Queen..Thank you for the Music..
We sang that in Form 5's national choir competition...it was great..i really miss those times..sobs...

okay..now im very sick...my head is burning hot...and im doing some research...
my head is not functioning correctly..god..just wish the tommorow i would be able to go to college..if not..il just sleep at home until i wake up...and then..go n console and doc...
the worst thing that can ever happen here..is to be sick..and when you are alone...
at least at home..my parents would force me to see doc..which does not require me to pay myself...HEY...it is not cheap alright...
and NORMALLY my mom would cook something light for me to eat...
here i am...ate ham telur tambah sayur for lunch...and 1901 hot dog for dinner...
where are all the nutrition??? you tell me..haiy..
and then..i walk under the rain just now..shit..not that i want to do it on purpose..
but it suddenly rain so heavily..haiy..no choice no choice..
the most important thing when you are sick is..somebody who cares about you...sobs..but thanks for sms-ing and asking though sui ren..haha..thanks thanks..

alright.....SUCKS!!!!!!!!! i dont want to be SICK...god..help me help me..

back in college

Well people..im back in college..
and im SICK!!!!! sobs..cough like hell in college..then got a little bit feverish..
and its only the third day of college...
later suppose to go out for Mamma Mia..and im like a zombie now..
and now would be the worst time to fall sick..

First day of serving..well...
Everything went alright..except for my center pieces...sobs..it melts le..what the hell
i did everything in two days le..i mean all the center pieces..all my hard work...went into the rubbish bin..damn it..fine fine..but at least i did something right???
The lecturer commented on my dressing as a manager..
i guess when you are a manager in college..you can not be fashionable???
i have to remove my belt..earrings..and he even said my shoes are not appropriate..it is too sharp it seems..haiy..boooring..

okay...FOOD PROMOTION...ohoh...
i am soooo dead..
Well...for quite some time...i did not hold something as heavy as that..SERIOUSLY..
it will be fun and interesting...
BUT..it is not easy to work together with sooo many people..
i can guarantee there will be tonnes of conflicts in the process..
anybody can contribute some interesting theme for my food promotion????
haha...i need ideas!!!!!!
just god bless us..bless me..and my soul..
hopefully i would not stress out and break down...cross my fingers..

things are going quite interesting recently..
dont want to ask anything..dont want to distrub the peacefulness now..
just let it be and let it be..
everything will turn out the way it should be in the end...
i think??haha..cross my fingers..

Me..Form 1..Form 5 and NOW

As i had promised earlier..i will post up my past pictures..so you guys would know how funny i look last time..

haha..i was a little bit startled when i look back into those pictures..
Because i just look so nerdy..SOBS...haha..
Here goes nothing...


Form one class picture..not so clear..because i took it using my cam..im in the last row..third from the left..haha..close up please>>>>>>
Aiyai...yupe..thats me..the short hair girl wearing spec..that time i was still a little bit boyish..thanks to my mum who insist me on cutting short hair..sobs..


OKIE..lets proceed to Form 5..this is the picture im most proud of actually..haha..
Red Crescent Board of Commitee 05/06...


OKAY..where am i??Well..find for the girl who has the BIGGEST forehead sitting in the front row..haha..YUPE..thats me..second from the right..Close up please>>>>

okay...i have a HUGE forehead alright..i know that..that time i dont even bother taking care of my hair..WHY??? Because SPM mer..lazy..haha..okay..maybe you will find some familiar face from Astro Talent Quest Show in this picture..for me..she still looks the same..haha..If you can find..
a little hint..second row..keke..

So now..what happen to ZHI LIN..here goes...


i had evolved into a MONSTER..a killer..haha..nah..im just like to pose around with knifes..keke..
SO NOW>>>>
Im like that>>>

See the Differences????hmm..i bet you do..haha..

Monday blues

Okay..im officially going back to college later..haha..
Yesterday..i did not slept well..yea..i barely slept..im DEAD!!!! haha
Well..i came back to KL in the most unexpected way..unexpected and yet so familiar..
not going to tell ya here..haha....suspense...yea right..
ANYWAY!!!!...me got an EARLY XMAS pressie!!!!
DENG DENG DENG>>>>>>>

ITS PINK...muahaha..im happy..really happy...
thank you very much for the pressie..i LOVE it..
as everyone knows..im not really good with gadgets..
soo..this simple and small ipod is just prefect for me..haha..
i HOPE it wont loose it???haha...i better dont..if not..the next day me kena cincang wei..
ANYWAY...really thankyou...it was a surprise..first time..haha..

that is one of the reason i can not sleep..
confuse as usual..but relief in the same time..
same things remain unchanged..it is just the name..the label..
but seriously..i do not really care..just remain the way it should be..

ohyeah..let me tell you guys something weird..a weird habit that i had discovered when i was in my holidays..
OKAY..well..normally..il sleep like a pig at home..
BUT..il wake up automatically in the morning..like 8am or 9am..because me need to go to toilet..ahaha..
THEN..il move my pillow, bolster and my comforter to my parents room..
il sleep there until i have enought rest...
and yes..this had occured for like one whole week...
it has been like a habit of mine..to change bedroom in the morning..haha
SOOO...maybe that is why i cant sleep in KL now..haha
Because im scare that suddenly il wake up in Jervin or Boon Ken's room the next morning..haha..
SOOO...anybody can change this habit of mine???
haha...ermm..me got to go and sleep for a while..then il go to college la..nights..

Sunday updates

OKAY...me sudah back in KL now..
A lot of things HAD happened...nothing much or important..but yea..i did not online for quite some time already..
Reason>>>>
my brother is forever dota-ing and onlining..which lead me to>>>>>
nothing better to do rather than sleep and eat..muahaha

Okay..as i said in the last post..some feelings that i thought were lost were still there..
and yeah..after that day..i realize something..
the feelings that were lost...will never be the same anymore..
maybe i had changed..or maybe as time goes by..feelings really DO fade away..
So now..i made it clear already..and i felt soooo relieved..
relieved that i had not done anything that will hurt anyone..
NOW..im FREED!!!! yay...never felt soooo free in my life ever...
sooo..im appreciating every SINGLE moment now..

As college going to start like Tommorow..
im getting a little bit excited already..and SCARE!!!!!
Oh MY GOD..
Dinner Service on FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE..very smart..haha..
pineapple craving ( which is the hardest food craving ever )..
Chicken Craving..( damn smart!!!..)
yeap...every thing on first day of college..what the hell..

NORMALLY..first day of college is damn relaxing..
hanging out with friends..chatting..getting updated..DAMN slack in the class..
can go home earlier because lecturer also not that rajin..ahem..haha..

BUT NOW??? slack a bit also can not la..haha..
practical ar..
I AM SURE...everyone can not really remember all the service sequence..
me too...please la..training that time..where got follow all the sequence..
ermm..maybe Elcerdo did..a bit of a taylorian style..because of Max ofcourse..
Talking about Max..im missing him..ahah!!!!
OKAY..back to college..yea..sure war on tuesday night..
BEHOLD>>>>
War between G1 vs G2 vs G3..
Cutleries and Crockery WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh great..now i cant wait to go back to college..sobs..

Simple is diamond??

Seriously...im happy now..

Happy that something still remain the same..

Some feelings that i thought had lost was still there some how..

Maybe that is what we call faith??

At home in Seremban actually gives me a peace in my mind..

Some how..im getting back to myself again..the crazy old me..

Suddenly im singing..Suddenly im dancing..and yea..im back..haha...

Some things remain the same..some dont..

For me..i will be back the same old me..but with a little bit more mature in thinking..

I wont be staying in that same old cage anymore..

Its time to open my eyes to the world..

Whether to know more people..

Or to learn more new things..

I will appreciate people by my side more..

I will try and spend more time with my family..

i will appreciate some quietness in my life now.

i will try and avoid those over the board drama...

People..simple is great..

You dont need a lot of ups and downs to make you life more colorful..

Yes..it is adventurous..and No..it is not fun at all..trust me..

Sometimes..simple is good..

Like Silence is golden..

Simple is diamond..haha..

Hey..what am i talking now???

Karaoke adiction

im actually over the board now..haha..im really happy..

Okay..the reason of my absense these few days..

my mom curi the modem already!!!!

in another word..she HIDE the modem..

haha..why??? because i was onlining for quite long..then..my brother came home VERY late..(12am..which is not late actually..but for my parents..it is VERY LATE)

so she got SOOO mad and furios..and she hide the modem..locked the door..and stomp back into her room..

since im a caring and loving ( vomit..) sister..i went down later and open the door for my bro..

so thats my story..for not onlining for a few days..

and what i did these few days..hmm..let me see..nothing much..except for yesterday..

me went to sing k AGAIN with Eunice and Kar Woon...C.O.Y. reunion le...muakakaka..

C.O.Y

okay..some of you may not know what is that..so let me explain it here..me, Eunice and Kar Woon..we always like to sing together..as in performance..and we always do things in three..three of us LOVE SHE at that time..and one day..we just came out with an idea..why dont we name ourselves..and yeah..here comes C.O.Y. haha..

Chebe ( Chong Kar Woon ).

Ola ( Ong Eu Nee ) and

Yelina ( Yeaw Zhi Lin )..

SEE how it forms???

but when Never EVER pernounce it as COY..because it sounds like vegetable in canto..haha..so call it C.O.Y..haha...even some junior called us that when we were in Puteri..good old times..haha..

and yeah..we did not sing together for quite some time already..and yesterday was like..SOOOO not enough..ish...we need MORE..but too bad the green box in jusco is like fully book..if not..three of us sure sing until we got no voice only walk out of the box..haha..i wish we could sing again next time..

HEY..can they like organize some group singing competition ar??

if not ar..we sure go already lo..ish ish..

yeap..that is what i did yesterday...