Thin? Or too thin?

' Why you so thin a? '

' You must eat more! '

These are the two statements that I always hear from my family and friends. In my honest opinion, I think that I am not that thin. ( At least my brain tells me so. ) Then comes me standing in the changing having a hard time fitting into the smallest size in the boutique. 

'Shoots. I am too thin.' Says my brain.

I admit it, I have this very minor weight disorder whereby I am quite obsess with my weight. But it is not anorexia or bulimic, it is just in my mind. If you ever wonder how much I eat, or how many times I eat in a day, its 5. Breakfast before I leave to work, lunch before service starts, tea time break, early dinner before service ( sometimes ), and supper after I finish work at night. I eat freaking 5 times in a day, and my supper time can be as late as 1am. I don't force myself to vomit after I eat alright! I don't do that ever. I always thought that I have this super high metabolism rate whereby I can get hungry as fast as one hour after I eat. I suppose I am lucky in that way?

My problem with my weight, is that I am really obsess with it. I hate it when it fluctuates. I can weight myself up to 5 times in a day, or maybe more. Talking about obsession. I know it is not healthy, but I don't think it hurts either. In reality, I know that I am not fat, and maybe a little too thin. But, I just can't bear the thought of gaining weight. And that, is my problem. I knew it perfectly well actually.

It all dates back to high school days whereby I am a little chubby. I weight around 44kg at that time? So I tried to not eat rice everyday, research on all these methods to block carbohydrate intake, doing sit up up to 100 times before I sleep etc etc. That time, I was really obsess. And that is the very same reason I din't grow up any taller and why I have small ahemmmm. haha. 

Then when I first join college, I look like this.

As you can see, I am still pretty chubby and not overly thin.

Another picture of chubby me.

Then comes the downfall. haha. One of the darkest moment of my college days. And I started to lose weight drastically.

This is when I was at the thinnest stage of my life. 

As I am with Aaron, I started to gain a biiiiiiiiiiiiit of weight. if you can see. haha.

And a bit more! See! I was so chubby, omg!! And he did too of course. =p

Then I decided to chop off my hair. Which did trim off some of my chubbiness as well. 

And then, it never came back

Then comes Singapore. What do you expect? Lose weight further la!

And now, I sort of gain some muscles on my arms, but my face became more V shaped.

If you ask me, do I always fall sick. Well, I only recall myself falling for food poisoning early this year. Minus some headaches here and there, I did manage to mantain my healthy really well. No fever or serious cough and sinus this year. So far in year 2013, I have only taken 1 day MC, which is for food poisoning. Kudos to myself for taking care of my body so well. haha.

So ya! Tell me, why is my face becoming thinner by day even though I ate healthily through the year? Why is my weight still the same and why are all those fats not growing in the correct place!!! Grrrrrrrrr..... So what is wrong? I know I can't lose any further, I should not! Maybe I need to go for a blood test and see what is wrong with my body. Can I have the right amount of fats in the right place and not gain a lot of weight??? I think I am going to be whack for saying this. haha

Not my fault! But....

Today is the day I doubt myself, did I made the right decision of working in the hospitality industry.

Today is the day I almost blew it away and call it off.

Working in this industry, is like riding a roller coaster. So many ups and downs, sharp turning and sudden breaks that makes you so high and yet so nauseas.

We just have to accept the fact that there will be assholes and jerks out there who LOVE to make other's life difficult. And it is just unlucky for me to be the one handling them. My blood pressure meter just blew off when they used the manager card to pressure me and looked down on me just because I seem inexperienced to them. Just because I look young and seems like I am a part timer doesn't mean that I am one.  I admit it myself, I still can't handle my emotions well when it comes to this kind of situation. For me, it is simple. I know what I am doing, and I know I did the right thing, so I will stand on my ground.

I was so angry and pissed off at that point because I did no mistake, so why are these people like that? Why must I be embarrassed like that? I keep analysing and analysing on what could have gone wrong and have I done anything wrong. But the answer is still the same. I did not make any mistake. Then all sorts of negative thoughts keep flashing through my mind. What am I doing here? I have studied so hard all these while to be treated like this? Why do I have to lower my self esteem and integrity for something that I have no wrong? Why am I still here?

My manager and and Assistant Manager had my back and they understand that it is not my fault. I am just unlucky, that's all. After cooling down my fire within 5 minutes, I went back into service and still smile to other guests. Talking about split personality.

This is just part of the service industry. You just have to suck it in and let it go. There will be people who tries to step on you and you just need to be one step higher than them.

All in all, we need to remember the good ones, and forget the bad ones. Keep reminding yourself the reason why you are here, and what you want to achieve. Then move on, or just try to move on. This is part of the journey.It is ugly and bumpy, but the fruits at the end of the road is sweet and rewarding. Hopefully. haha.

Let's just see how will my journey be from now on. 

Thoughts on Sydney

Hello hello! I am back from Sydney!! Yeahhh.." Le Sigh" =( Though I am pretty grateful that we escaped the sudden temperature drop, but I still miss it dearly. I have yet to organize any of my pictures and it will be a picture-less post. Apparently we took around 1k+ of pictures! Oh my! So shall take my time and upload it slowly so I could still savour the moment. haha.

Well Sydney Sydney. My first time in Sydney, and I have to say, I quite like it over there. I like the fact that houses there has their own backyard and each house is different. Not like in Malaysia whereby terrace houses are all the same for that stretch without a backyard. Back of the house is normally emergency lane and longkang ( Drains ). Damn.I have this fantasy over backyard because whenever I watch western movies or drama, they always have bbq at the backyard, spending some time with their family outdoor and just chilling. Well, its easier for them to do so mainly because of the weather. Who would want to stay outdoor with the sun is torching hot and there is no wind or slight breeze to cool you down in Malaysia? Not me. Even if it is during evening time, I would have avoided it at all cost, its the time whereby dengue mosquitoes are the most active.

I always wonder, why do Ang Mohs like to stay under the sun all the time and just lying on the grass? Now I know why. Because whenever there is sun, it is warm. When we were in Sydney, its sunny most of the time since it is early Spring, but the sea breeze is very chilly. So whenever we feel it is a little too cold, we will automatically hunt for the sun and stand under it. Even if it is a little warm in the noon, whenever the wind blows, its just nice.It is nice to lie on the grass to relax, to spend some time with your loved one or with your family, to just get a little bit of sun for the day. I can totally imagine myself grabbing a sandwich and coffee while reading a book in the park when the weather is nice. But of course, that comes from me who has been living in a tropical country since I was born and had never stayed in a country with four seasons more than three weeks. I would love to experience living in a four seasons country at least for a year so I could know how does it feels like. That, will be one of my goals to be achieved in the future.

Transportation is overly expensive. A single ticket from the place I stay which is Eastwood to International airport cost us like $13.90 each. We got the shock of our life the first time we purchased tickets to the city, where by it is closed to 14 dollar for a round trip for both of us. I like the trains though, not the speed and frequency of it. It is comparable with KTM, sad to say. The frequency of the trains can be up to 30 mins for none peak hours. I am pretty much used to Singapore MRT whereby it is fast and the frequency is high, hence the comparisons. The train coaches are pretty cool. It is double decker coach, or whichever name it is supposed to be call, and they have quiet coaches to cater for people who likes their train journey to be a peaceful one. So if you would like to chat, or pick up phone calls, you will need to move to other carriage. I personally think this is brilliant. On a side note,I wish there are more railway map at each stations.

As a tourist, even if we are spending our money from Singapore dollar, it can be a little expensive, for shopping that is. Topshop, Zara or even their local brands, I think it is cheaper to get it in Singapore. Which is also why I did not shop much in Sydney, compared to Seoul. Gosh, I LOVE SHOPPING IN SEOUL! haha. Back to Sydney. For all the Pandora fans out there, Australia will be your heaven to shop for charms especially in duty free shops. It is slightly cheaper I think. For a normal silver charm, it can be 27 dollars each if you buy it in  duty free shop, in Aussie dollar of course. I think it is relatively cheaper.

Food wise, it is not exactly that cheap. If you convert from Malaysia Ringgit, you will be screaming its very expensive. For a decent meal in a cafe, a normal Big Breakfast can cost up to 22 dollars, egg benedicts around $16 or $18? Even if you go to any Asia Restaurants which is cheaper in contrast,  a plate of fried rice can go up to $15? In restaurant price that is, not those take away outlets. I think it is cheaper to cook at home compared to eating out. Steaks are very cheap, very. Three pieces or Sirloin steak for 8 bucks? Yes please! That, is from a tourist's point of view. If you are earning local currency, I am sure it is a different story.

Sceneries in Sydney is breathtaking. If you love baby blue sky with crystal clear sea water and lovely breeze, this is the place. Imagine baby blue skies with fluffy clouds, ferries and yachts cruising by, lovely sea breeze as you stroll along the whaft. Amazing! Well, I am not really that good in describing sceneries, but hope you get what I meant. haha. Every thing that we see is like a painting, picture perfect and you just feel like recording everything that you have seen with both of your eyes and remember it forever. Damn! How can you be so pretty Sydney?

This is only Sydney, I am pretty sure the suburbs will be even better. Till next time, when I have more money it is. haha. Anyway, these are my little thoughts after coming back from Sydney. Bear in mind that everyone has their own opinion, and this is solely based on my own. I am out!

p/s I think I am developing slight fever as I speak. Body has not adjust back to local weather.

On karma

Because karma is a bitch!

People say, do not let other people ( especially not worthy people ) to affect your emotions. Well, easy to say, but hard to do. And so, I am learning how to play the invisible game now. Means that person, is invisible to me. No point trying to think positively about that person anymore, no point trying to convince that that person has some things that I can learn from. Because there is none. So why bother? If I am rude to you, be it. Because I simple don't care any more. If you have done no mistakes, I will no have something to pick on. But too bad, you keep making mistakes in my territory, which I am in charged of.

No matter how old you are, always be humble, and learn as you go. Experience can be very important, but that also depends on your attitude and how you are going to use it. No point counting the years of working and yet, at the end of the day, you let your egoism take over.

I can be nice, and I can be an ultimate biatch. To that person, I am the ultimate biatch who is always picking on him. Do I feel bad, well last time. But now, to hell I care. I am trying to 'zen' myself into not letting this person affects my emotions any more.

I am doing my job, and I am always trying my best to not make any silly mistakes. Motivating myself to do better each day, and trying hard to maintain it. This is all I care, and what I should only care. Not on what other people feel or how they think of me. It should be me and me only. Well, if I do make any sense at all.

Anyways, that's about it!

A walk into memory lane, thanks to FB

Just some funny pictures I found...( Damn, I have taken ALOT of pictures and I can't even remember clearly when was it taken. )

B is quite photogenic no?

=)

Another picture of my cute darling..cannot resist myself. haha

Huggies

Peekabooo

Some artistic picture taken by me

Somehow, I still love this picture..haha

Haloweeeeeennnn

Gone la our image..hahaha

What happened in Paris stays in Paris..

Nanannaa..sing the happy song

I think I was mad at something..hahaha

Looking innocent..I think..haha

When it was reeeeally cold

=)

And the best thing is, I found a reallllly old picture of myself when I was in Form 4. Here goes nothing

This was taken when I went to Japan for my student exchange program. I was realllllly chubby, wore some round and ugly specs, and with some really funny hair. haha. Nevertheless, It was a really good experience

One more picture please. This was taken at Tokyo Tower. =)

Now I have to run and hide myself for posting all these pictures..haha..

Nahhhh...nothing to be ashamed of. =) =)

And yes, the chubby little baby is me!

Just, Pissed

I AM SOOOOOO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOWWWW! Gosh! Please let me release some steam.

For one whole year, I have been trying my best to maintain my work performance. I am punctual ( WAS NEVER LATE!! ) for one whole, trying my best to do my best and never slack. Yes, I can be pretty 'chiong' or in another words, work very hard, but this is who I am!

I, am a pretty egoistic person I must say. If it is my mistake, fine I will accept it. But why should I wipe other people's ass? WHY! WHY! Gosh! I am loaded with things to do, go here go there, do this do that, but why are others so free? WHY!

I am young, and I should be climbing my way up fast. And I am working for it. But, it has been one year plus. If I am not doing a good job, slacking, then fine, I accept it. But, oh well. Maybe I am still not mature enough, maybe I can't handle certain things well. Just.....my motivation is going down. That's all.

Well, writing is a really good way to release steam I must say. I am not angry anyway. Time to head back to my paperwork. Le sigh!

Painted

Greetings from Malaysia!!! Wohoooo! Anyways, before I continue with anything at all, Hello Ma and Ba! Thanks for reading my blog eh! haha. Yeaps, my dear parents are getting their hands on the cyber world and knew about my blog. opppps! Stalker alert on! haha. So gotta be a little careful with what I write now...hmmmsss

 

 My first Pedi Mani!

Please don't call me a bimbo, but I am so so glad that I finally did my first pedi mani. haha. Ever since I join the Hospitality industry, painting my nails seems to be such a luxury that I could not afford. Not because I don't have the money to do so, but it is not allowed. Well, at least for my fingers. Whenever we have practical classes in college, lecturers would killed us if we have our nails painted. So, it became a habit to have short and clean nails. Come to think of it, it goes way before that actually. I used to play piano since I was very very young, so it is also crucial to have short nails as well. Le sigh! Seems like I am destined to have short fingernails isn't it? 

So yes, I have decided to get my nails painted, do the girlie things that I seldom do and it was the best decision ever.The first thing that I told her is, I have not done any pedicure and manicure before. haha. A little warning before the session starts. It started off with some soaking, scrubbing, trimming, massaging and finally painting my nail. The whole session was fabulous and very relaxing. She also highlighted a few times that I should learn how to take care of nails and stop peeling it. Well, I am really bad when it comes to taking care of little things like this. Or should I am I am too tired and lazy to trim my nails nicely, paint it with base coat, double coloured then top coat. I would rather spend that time on watching my drama when I have that little time left. Hence, it slowly became a habit.

Come to think of it, everyday what I do is work work work and work. I rarely shop unless I really need something, and the most money that I spend is on food. That's all. I should learn how to pamper myself once in a while isn't it? And, its good to feel a little girlie again. haha. I am too man at times, and I forgotten that I should act like a girl too.

Life is not all about work and money. Sometimes you need to slow it down, and learn how to relax too. 

p/s That's for you too ma. You need to slow it down and relax also. ^^

Holiday Holiday

Finally, all my work has completed, served ended, and time for my one week break to commence. I am super exhausted actually. The work that I had done yesterday and today was overwhelming.

1. Updated wine list pricing.
2. Printed wine list, including assembling the list.
3. Updated all the price changes in the system.
4. Updated the takeaway pricing
5. Printed takeaway price list, and premium wine list
6. Ordered wines
7. Topping up wines

Other than all those above, I still did lunch and dinner operations. Wah! I am so proud of myself. I manage to get everything done in two days. Perhaps that is the reason why even though I am super excited to go home, I just can't express it out. Put everything aside, I am coming home!!!

Come to think of it, it has been half a year since I last went home. What to do, I do not have tonnes of leave to spare after spending half on vacation. Ngek ngek. Furthermore, I would rather have one whole week to spend in Malaysia rather than just a three days trip, four days trip. Right?

I will eat more, meet more people, sleep more and eat more.

So...

Holiday starts NOW!

HAPPY HOLIDAY TO ME!!!

HAPPY 4th ANNIVERSARY

Today, is the day we strike off the 4th year mark as a couple. We have been together for four years now, it seems so long and yet, so short at the same time. I did not feel it until I slowly go through all the pictures we have taken together. We took so SO many pictures, and been through so many things together. From studying together in college, to graduating from our degree, taking our baby steps in Singapore till now. We have been working for almost two years now. Dang! Time do pass by very fast no?

People say after the honeymoon period, things will gradually go downhill and you will start to feel tension between you and your partner. But, I still feel like we are in our honeymoon period. haha. We still text like how we used to, I still can't get my hands off him, I will miss him a lot even if he is away for one day and it is as though we are in this stage whereby we just started dating. I am truly grateful for that.

Yesterday, while me and my colleague going to this gift shop to get a birthday card for our boss, I saw this handsome looking guy from far and it immediately strikes me that hey! He is my bf! And Oh my god, he looks so handsome and tall. haha. ( It is actually a surprise went busted by myself. haha.) Seriously, that really went through my mind. Paiseh la, this is suppose to be an Anniversary post! I still feel the electricity feeling ( like what others said ) like the day we first started. What curse have you cast on my b! haha. How can I love you more and more everyday! =p

For me, to have found someone that is so significant to me, so patience towards our relationship, love me like no one else ever will, understand me even better than myself, I must have strike the biggest 4D in my life.  I am one very lucky girl. Very.

4 years, and I am pretty sure there will be a whole load more to go in the future. I will constantly improve myself, so that you can fix your eyes on me =p, and I will try and be the best for you as well. So baby,

HAPPY 4th ANNIVERSARY!!! 

I LOVE YOU BABY AARON!

I hereby present you with a lot of pictures of US ^^

All pictures are arrange in chronological order within the last two years time france. You can see how much we have changed since two years ago, whether its our hairstyle or our chubbiness. Once again!

HAPPY 4th ANNIVERSARY!!! 

That's all folks. ^^

On our way to Jeonju!

Waking up as early as 6am and I am all pumped up for Jeonju!

Spring is in the air!

Flowers everywhere!

I have never traveled  during Spring before. It is always during autumn or winter whereby the flowers and leaves are all dried up. So its pretty astonishing to see so many beautiful flowers along our trip in Korea. 

This picture deserves a bigger space in this post! I LOVE this picture.

We took the free shuttle bus to Jeonju, which is located near Gwanghwamun station. As we alight the train, we were greeted by this beautiful sun rise picture of Seoul.Just the perfect angle for this picture. 

Admiral Yi Sun Sin Statue

\

Gyeongbokgung Palace is right at the back of this picture.

As you walk along Gwanghwamun, you can see the Admiral Yi Sun Sin statue and also Gyeongbokgung Palace from afar. 

More flowers!

Time to leave Seoul for Jeonju!

And there you go, the bus we took to Jeonju.

Every year, the Korea Tourism Board will have this free shuttle bus services to several location. This one that we took is to Jeonju, which is also the gastronomy center of South Korea ( well, it is also where Running Man shot one of their episode as well. =p ) You will need to register on their website to take this bus. If the bus is full, they will draw lots. Only the lucky ones will get a free bus trip down to Jeonju. Just so happen that we are lucky enough to be chosen, and off we go to Jeonju!

At one of the Service Station, I manage to capture my FIRST Cherry Blossom picture in my entire life!

And you, my first sakura, will have a very special place in my heart. ^^