just read kar woon's blog..and i have the sudden urge to cry even though i know it is not worth crying..shit..here i go again..emo-ing..now my mind is like..screwded up..i dont know why..my head is heavy..my heart is aching..my whole body is like not mine anymore..nobody can help me through..i know..but you guys dont know what i went through..what kind of pain i went through...i cant say through here..because the whole world would have known..this..i want to avoid..
as i said..im just being stupid again..feeling neglected..who would be there to heal me???to heal my wound when i need one...not only from the surface..i can joke around..i can smile and laugh..but that doesnt mean that im healed..yes..i have to be my own healer..heal my own wound..and safe myself from all the problems..but i can say that until this moment..i did not do it well..in fact..pretty bad..im killing myself inside..
why im feeling like crying when i read her blog..because i can feel her happiness from her pictures..i can feel the love..that is something that im missing in my life now..that feeling..the feeling of being in love..not being push away..scolded..neglected..etc...this is just so wrong..
why did i let this feeling to overcome me???why??? i know..im only used..im just a somebody he will only find when he is lonely..stressed and sad..and the sad part is i will still be there for him no matter how hard im struggling deep inside...no matter how hard i hope that he will turn back and look at me..
i dont want to upload the pictures now..because that will just make my heart aches more..il upload it when im cool..not now..because mu heart is aching..
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