back in seremban

Im back in Seremban..went back all alone..and i actually felt quite relief..to be alone..haha..walking to the ktm station alone..then went and eat beef noodle which cost me RM6 bucks per bowl..what the heck??? then sat in the bus alone...alone alone and alone...im not complaining..SERIOUS..haha..im happy actually..finally i felt like me again...

Then when im home..i sang damn loudly in my parents room before i took my short nap..which i always like to do last time....haha..guess it is a way of releashing whatever that is bothering me???i finally went to get my spec..cost me 190 for a frameless spec..not very expensive..but then heart pain ar..haha..AND..i have to wait for one week...what the hell???

have to wait then...

hmm hmm

Going back to Seremban

Ive finally decided to go back to Seremban...Wakaka

took me 15 min to consider that..

quite slow..

but nevermind...

PEOPLE in KL..miss me ya..keke...

il be back on monday to finish off my malaysian studies assignment...

YEAH...

Addicted to 'cha jian er guo' by li sheng jie...

'tui hou' by jay chow...

Going off now la...

tata..take care KL...

Grumbling

Damn econs..ish...screwd it...

Arghh....

studied..BUT..something just wrong with me..

and im keep doing some silly mistakes..

arghh..just forget about it...

This is going to be a Booooring weeked..

until now..i have no plans..

what the heck???

My dear wayne wanted to wake me up at 7AM tomorrow to watch his game war..

7AM le...il still be sleeping dead on my bed lo at tat time..haha..

sorry la wayne...ohya..pls dun call me at 7AM..haha

Guess il be stucked infront of my comp and finishing all my assignments..

ishish...still got damn alot to do lo...

arghh...

luckily monday got holiday...

yahoooo..no SERVICE....!!! but then got english presentation ar the next day...

AND..we have to sing during teacher's day..

FRENCH SONG people!!!!

infront of all those teachers...

since when we still celebrate teacher's day??

haha

im happy but i look sad??

Today..

im happy...

alot of things had happened these few days..

some sad..some crazy and some really drove me away...

feeling a bit numb..

because of my emotional roller coaster..

i am happy...

but sometimes i just tend to stare at the ceiling and dream

people might think that i am still sad because of what had happened..

but the truth is..

im not...

maybe because i had cried too much and sank into misery..

and now.. i dont know how to pull myself back together..

though im HAPPY..

weird huh??

Miracle had happened to me yesterday..

though i totally did not expected it..

but i am really very happy..and grateful..

happy that the miracle had finally came to me...

i dont know what will happen in the future..

but i just pray that i will stay happy and happy..

that's all...

To every single loving couple out there..

tell your partner that you really love he/she...

tell them that no matter what happen in the future..

you will always be part of my life and soul...

hoA!! haha..im really good in this..

praise me..thankyou...keke..im joking people...

Screwd life

Feeling a bit awkward these few days..really awkward..i know i should have walk out from the shadow already..but..something just seems to be not right..we are still close to each other..if we are not..then i would definitely be damn depress..but now we are..in the same time..if we are still like that..will i be able to pull myself together???

That's the problem..i don't know what i should do and what i should not do..DAMN..im so screwd..and now..until today..i felt damn stress and can not breath..maybe because of my break up...plus assesments..plus DAMN alot of assignment to pass up in the next 2 weeks..urghhhhhh

i really feeling like screaming out loud and release all the anger and frusfration in my heart now...AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!1

life is just suckxxx

the break up song...

it is over..really over...

telling myself that i have to be strong...

Strong enough to smile when i face the wolrd...

but my world has fallen aprt...

broken into million pieces...

how to mend it back???

When there is no sms from him...

when the things that is happening around him just is not part of me anymore...

when thinking about him just shouldnt happen anymore...

when holiding his hand and hugging him can not happen anymore...

when everything has changed...

can i take it so easily??

can i accept the fact that we are only friends....

but no longer soul mates...

all the promises..

saying that he wont let me go...

everything that he said...

was printed in my heart..

but when this momment came...

left nothing in my heart rather than emptiness and loneliness

i shall go through this...

i shall learn how to walk again...

i shall be strong and tough...

and never look back again...

Can we still be friends???

yes..we can...

maybe my best friend ever..

but there is a barrier between us...

because he was once so close to me...

and now...he is nothing but a friend to me...

i am hurt...

everything seems to be falling apart for me..

just when im happy again...

this has to happen...

though i knew from the begining that this might be a mistake..

but i took the risk...

closing my ears to the world around me...

giving us chance again and again..

but until now..this momment...

i knew that we were not meant to be together...

i have a life to live...

i have to start everything from scratch...

and learn how to take baby steps once again...

the difference is...

this time he wouldnt be a part of it anymore...

Maybe someday i will meet somebody that treats me way better than he does

Maybe someday he will realize that i am good...

Maybe someday....he will turn back and say...

i am sorry for letting you go...

this is my break up song...

the end of me and him....

endless night

yes...it is the end of our relationship...all out of sudden...ofcourse there would be tears and alot of tears...swollten eyes...shakky hands and everything..BUT...il be strong and i will stand up again...

i had learned alot from this relationship.really a lot...from here...i know who are my friends who are always there for me...who will always listen to me though i was constantly having a lot of trouble...because of you all..i am still standing here...because of you all...i am still zhi lin...that i am really grateful...why am i talking like i am writting my own will???haha..CHOI...touch wood...

For Brendan...i know that it is not all your fault...and i can't blame everything on you...yes...i was hurt many many many times...though i know our ending would be like this...but i just can't face the reality...when it really reach until the stage when we couldnt go any further...i know that it is the time to end it...yes...i am very sad and tears just can't stop when i am writting this...but...no matter what it is...i still have to face the fact...that we are no longer couples...that you are just my best friend...yes...you will always be somebody that is important to me...i thank you for everything that you had taught me...from you...i had really learned a lot...it was a fun and yet a scary ride...thanks for all the good memories that you had given me...and sorry for all the troubles that i had cause you...wish you can read this..though i know you wouldnt...

i dont know how long will it takes for me to stand up again...but i will...definitely...when i deleted our pictures from my friendster profile...all our memories that we had together all came back to me..from the begining until now...today...11 of may 2008...haha..we couldnt make it until our aniverssary next month...25th june...but what can i say...it is our destiny to end it here...so....we still love each other as friends..and we will always do...

for all my friends out there...sorry not listening to all of you...and i took so long to realize what truth...im really relieved that it was over...atleast he does not have to be my burden anymore...soo...im okay..i am fine...i am not crying now...seriously...so...wish me luck...wish me luck in finding a better person in the future...

don't know why i had this feeling that i am scare to fall in love again....

My so-call nightmare

im a crazy fella..haha...just now only i said im lazy to write..but when i started to write..i cant stop..what the...okie..i want to share about the nightmare i had last night...well..as you guys know..we can only remember parts and parts of our dreams..sometimes..not even a single thing...so...here goes nothing----

Alex appeared from no where
and we kissed..which i dislike

Then my friend ( Brendan's EX first love) appeared in my apartment in Mentari
i got mad because Brendan allowed her in and let her sleep in my room
PISSED..( in my dreams la..haha)
Then don't know why..she was sleeping in the same bed as me and Brendan..
which raise my pissiness to the max..
and i think i yell at Brendan..
and He was like ' there's nothing wrong'
i got so mad and i ran out of the room..

Then..we went for some Japanese Buffet..

So that is my dream..and yar..my nightmare..but i know i got really pissed in my dreams..probably i did kick or slap Brendan..i don't know..haha..MAYBE...People said dreams represent something in reality...which i totally agree..because there were a few times my dream appeared in the reality...BUT...this dream would NEVER EVER appear in the reality..haha..better not..if not..il start to throw my tantrums everywhere..haha..

It is normal because i dream about this friend of mine..but alex??? and we were kissing?? weird..haha..maybe i just miss him too much...people..i did not see him for like more than one year already..it is normal to miss somebody who were once so close to you right?? which reminds me about his birthday which is coming soon..25/5..should i get something for him?? let me think first...keke..

Packed and Stuffed

Recently im lazy to write blog la..haha...Got tonnes and tonnes of things to do lo...every subject also got assignments to do...and none of them are easy lo..ishish...and next week full of assessments..okay..let me see how many things i need to finish in this week ar...here goes my nightmare-------

Next week
Cost of accounting assessment
Food Science assessment
Malaysian Study assessment
Econs assessment

Restaurant tech assesment

Three weeks from now
(assignments to past up)
Malaysian studies video ( partially done)
Restaurant Tech restaurant proposal ( havent touch )
English Advertisement ( only discussion )
French essay ( lecturer havent explain, so not our fault)
Sales and Marketing ( last minute only do )

okie...looks little but do you know how much of brain storming requires..arr...just GG.com la...Today..we just finished our food science assignment..at first we thought we cant do because the stupid malay lady told us the dvd spoil ady...aiya..lazy to do then just quit la...nothing wrong also..luckily we stayed there to finish our 'kuih'...(yar..we ate in library..so what..haha), if not...we really die tomorrow..because we did not complete that stupid HACCP paper...

These few days we were constantly watching videos..i don't know why..haha..last week we watch the sales video..which is lame to the max...and NOW we have to do assignment according to that...Then yesterday we watched a French movie---wasabi...which is quite interesting and funny...but the only word i understand is 'oui-yes', 'et vous- and you', and 'bonjour-good morning/ good afternoon'..that's all..they talked like so damn fast..do you think i can understand??? Then this morning...we watched ' Embun'...it was about Japanese occupation...boring also lo..you know why??? she skipped all the interesting part..'interesting=something 18sx'..haha..everyone was waiting for that lo...During our restaurant tech class..we watched something to do with room service...which is a damn ancient video..haha...we were like...'walau..the technology so canggih lo'..Then...me, Diny, wayne and sui ren darling were forced to go to library and watch the HACCP video...BOOOooring...

Conclusion is..my life is getting more intense for this month...which is freaking boring..haha...everything is assignment and assignment..nothing else...really no life man..no life..ohya..talking about no life..i remember tomorrow we are going to Murni to eat and take picture for our Malaysia study assignment...Of course our main purpose it to eat...haha...and next Wednesday we are going to Putra jaya...for our video shooting...hmm..should be quite interesting...so cross my fingers...

After that incident

The next day after what had happened..it was Labour Day...so..i slept like a pig until 11 something...luckily i did not had any nightmare because of her..thank god and god bless me..haha..Then Brendan's dad went back to Seremban to settle something..his brother went out for movie..so...the house is empty..yeah..finally can spend some time with him..

We went to Mid Valley in the noon..he is driving..and we were not really sure about the roads in KL...soo...kind of worried..but we made it there..keke..BUT..the parking was just so horrible..it was packed like hell...we took like 30 min just to get a car park space..i swear im not driving on Labour Day to Mid Valley anymore...We walked..he bought his favorite comic and CD..as usual..i did not buy anything..we eat..haha..normal la..what else to do ar..haha..Then we went home because his dad came back and wanted to use the car..

The highlight of this post is not how i spend my time with Brendan..BUT..what that happened after that...i went up first because Brendan wanted to wait for his dad..Then i went to my room and on the comp...like usual...THE..Brendan sms me and told me that Brendan's dad caught up with her in the lift..HOA!!!! war ar..i was DAMN scare lo..because i am scare that she will crap to uncle...and He will believe what she said..i was like chatting to Dolores and worrying like hell...ask her what to do and what to say..

Then i chat with him...and he told me what the problem is all about ------ MONEY..yes..in this world of materialistic..everything is money money and money...there were some miscommunication here and there..and they did not voiced out..therefore lead to a lot of misunderstanding and hatred..to ME..yes me...i know..i did some mistakes as well..because it was my first time renting a whole apartment..you cant aspect me to know everything..i am not perfect...and i will make mistake..if you don't tell me what is the problem in the first place..how the hell i will know??? so..everything is settled between me and him...no hard feelings..but friend?? i am sorry to say..but hard...

Then...Brendan's dad came home and wanted to talk to me..i was DAMN scare...because i have zero idea what he will ask me...then.. he started to tell me that he met her in the lift..and everything...i know i am going to cry...and i did cry...because i felt like it was freaking unfair for me lo...the whole world is putting the blame on me...i have to face each and everyone of them in college...from their face..i can see that they hated me..and i don't think i deserved to be cursed in that way...so...i just cried...in front of Brendan's dad...it is like damn pai seh right??? Then he started to give me advice and everything...like a teacher and dad..and im still crying...until jervin came back...

it is embarrassing enough to cry in front of my friends..and lecturer (Sir Patrick saw me and he did called and ask how am i doing..how sweet of him..haha)..and now..infront of BRENDAN'S father...i must have look like some really weak girl in his eyes..haha...sometimes..it is just hard to control your feelings...especially to elders..you cant hide anything from them...

My conclusion is...people like this..do not deserve your tears and respect..i don't have to gain their trust nor respect or whatever..i don't have to be nice to them or to treat them good...they just don't deserve it...so..my life goes on..i will be happy...and i will still be me...But of course..i would not repeat the same mistake as before...To my friends who are really sincere and help me through this..i am really grateful that you guys are my friends...and thanks for being there for me...Friends rocks..and to all those jerks out there..( not specifically pointing at that person only...to ALL the jerks out there), find something better to do in your life and stop making your life that miserable and meaningless..and i AM being sarcastic here..i pity you.....

Thoughts after wednesday's incident

These few days..a lot of things had happened to me...most of my friends knew what had happened already...so i decided to delete the previous post..WHY?? because that time i was filled with anger and might be a little bit irrational at the same time..therefore..there were things that i should not say...but..il update a little bit in this new post...

After that day when i was screwed like nobody's business, i was really being unsure of myself...kind of doubting my own personality..whether i am the problem one...i did sms and tell Brendan about what had happened..he actually screwed me again..which lead me into deeper frustration...

He told me millions and billions times before, stand up for myself, don't let anyone to provoke me and lead me into misery. He also ask me not to cry because of this...they are perverts and don't deserve my tears...

And yet..i still don't listen..

i was sulking at that time, in another words..crying when he asked whether i am okay or not...i can see that he was worried and yet frustrated at the same time... But he cant do anything..he has to rush for church...Then..i called Alex and talk to him for quite some time...i don't know whether it is a habit or not..but i just feel like talking to him at that time...i actually did feel way better after talking to him...To me...he is not just my ex..but my very true and understanding friend...

Conclusion to this post is...no matter what had happened to me on Wednesday...i am perfectly fine and happy...i am really very glad that there are many people who were there for me...listening to my mumbling and a lot of cursing at the same time..aha..Thanks for your concerns...i am fine..very fine...

blogging before class

yokie...t minus 15 min to get ready to go to college..and i am still sitting comfortably in front of Brendan's comp actually ( because i am lazy to on my comp..tehehe) and blogging...how crazy am i?? keke...felt incredibly uncomfortable if i did not update on something in my blog...Everything that is happening in my life..is all written out in this small little blog actually..so..whatever that you want to know about me..go ahead and read...

Yesterday...i had a good news actually..wakaka..because Brendan is not going to sabah anymore...yeah..ermm...if you read about my blog earlier, you should know that how frustrated am i because he might not be around for our anniversary...but..now..HIPHIPHOORAY!!!! keke..but he will work as a part timer in TGI, so not guarantee that he wont be working on that day...sooo...cross my fingers...yeah..keke better than flying to sabah right???

And FINALLY..like FINALLY..we went out and jalan for a while..
last last week...i barely had time with him..cz his father was around during his off day...
FINE
There goes another off day wasted...
Then luckily yesterday his dad went back in the morning...YEAH!!
Then for this week..i can not imagine lo..his bro and his dad coming up on wed...
His bro will be staying until Sat..
not quite sure about his dad...
So...i decided to go back to seremban and hide myself..

Do you know how FRUSTRATED it is to stay in a same house but have to act like you are some nobody...but actually you are somebody...
Then i have to kurung myself in my room...
ISHISH!!!
Luckily this week i got damn a lot of things to do lo..
If not..URghh...


Okie..fifteen minutes up..and i am off to get all doll up for class..
i just HATE to make up...
damn mafan lo..

went klang and eat crabby!!!

It is officially 2.30am in the morning..what am i doing here..blogging..haha..actually i just bath and waiting for my hair to dry before i sleep..soo...what to do during the time of waiting..WRITE!!! haha
Just now..i went out with dai lou, pipi, cat and diny..at first..we were planning to go to YUEN and eat steamboat..BUT.. it was pack like hell and the line was terrible...so..dai lou decided to go all the way to KLANG--ye choi fa to eat seafood..walau...damn far lo..but what to do..it is dai lou's style....haha..im happy...luckily they can remember the road there..if not...we will end up in some no where with hungry stomach growling for food..
The place was pack to the max..we can hardly find a place to sit down and makan..we ordered calamari ring, lala bihun, yabby with butter sauce, crab, and 'daun ubi keledek'...the food was yuummmy...BUT..we made a HUGE mistake..we ordered one whole bottle of the fermentated coconut drink...which stinks to the max...but the taste was not too bad..because it was damn stinky, we decided to finish it in one shot..haha..i was the winner...i gulp the whole thing down...BUT...the side effect----- my whole body was red...like damn red...rashese were coming out..the first time in my whole life...i can see stars..haha...i can barely walk in a straight line..but i force myself to be as normal as possible..i did not vomit though..Diny was the worst..she vomited everything out...hmm...not a nice scene to see...

After feasting ourselves with seafood..we went to Sunway and watch Forbiden Kingdom...me and cat manage to bring down dai lou's favourite black and red Zinger( i cant remember what is the name )..we were carrying it all around sunway...haha...everyone is like staring at us...so what..we like to carry soft toys around..is it a crime??? The movie was quite funny and nice...but dai lou slept through out the whole movie...because he was too tired...too bad...haha

When i reach home..i thought that Brendan slept already..because he did sms me during the movie and said he was going to sleep..but he came to my room and wish me good night..i ask him why he haven't sleep..he said he was worried...hmm..how sweet...that makes my day even happier...keke...okie...my hair is almost dry now..so better sleep now before i past out soon..keke..

me and cat..look at our face carefully...our face was damn red lo...

three red face ladies...keke..diny is the worst...

dai lou eating and pipi trying to do something to his specs..keke

okie...the things that we sapu until sparkling clean..can you see that bottle one the green plate..yes..its was the fermentated coconut drink..and it is empty!!!! gosh..sin man

me and Dai lou..

The urge to write

Obviously blogging has been a habit of mine...There are many things that i would like to express out but i just find any better way to express out rather than blogging it...now..i am stucked in my room in KL and very confuse about what i suppose to do later...there are SOO many things that i need to do..that i need to think..but somehow it just got stuck there..so..i need to write..i just need to write...

Yesterday it was our 10th month annniversary...After my class was over and he finished working..we went to Gen Japanese Restaurant in Legend Hotel for our buffet dinner..His favourite was the salmon sashimi..as always...The only thing that will catch his attention is raw salmon sashimi...tepanyaki salmon..no no..salmon steak..maybe yes..but not his cup of tea..so you want to make him happy..just buy him salmon sashimi or sushi..haha...He obviously can't eat alot, he said his stomach was not good recently...soo..i am the one eating all the time..from salmon, tuna and some fish sashimi, to oyster and scallop..that was my first round..then tempura, sukiyaki, tepanyaki and some cold dishes..Last but not least..i end it with a good old green tea ice cream with red bean..GOSH..i was damn full..

Then we rush back to college for orientation night for badge 30...ermm..i was 27..but who cares..so many people FFK me..dai lou they all went clubbing straight..wayne..went clubbing at 9...ish..nevermind...then i saw Brendan met his friends..his friends (girls) hugged him when they saw him...of course Kelvin as well..i was near by..but when i saw it..i just kind of step back and turn around...At that time, i realize that this is the culture now..hugging..so it is fairly normal..but again..why nobody hugs me??? nobody dares to do that to me??? why?? because i have a boyfriend?? gosh..i want a hug!! Well..there were a few bands performed..it was okay...not too great...but noisy...wish dai lou and pipi were here..atleast i would have enjoy myself better...

Then at night...i found out something..which bothers me a bit...somebody lonely and needs to talk to Brendan...He said that it was our anniversary and it was not the right time..so he promise her that he will call her tomorrow which is today...it was his ex first lover..my friend...some might know who she is..well..atleast he respected me and did not call her straight away..something funny..she just sent a testi to my that day saying that she had kept to her promise that she won't contact him and everything..said that she needs to talk..i replied her..and said that i am okay and bla bla bla..BUT..she did not reply me..and now?? hmm...something fishy..you know what..i seriously dont want to go through this shit AGAIN...hopefully he knows how to handle it PROPERLY this time..as for me myself..il stay cool..it is normal to help a friend right??? so..im cool..

okie..gotta wake myself up and start my work already..gambate..

trying to be happy

Happy...is it such a hard thing to achieve??? What i want now is to be happy and happy..that's all..nothing else..But when i make up my mind and tell myself that i want to be happy..something will just happen and pull me down..i just don't know why...

Somebody told me that i was not as cheerful as i was in Term one..i look like my soul was suck out from my body...my face was pale and colorless..meaning----i am lifeless...okay..i know i sound like i am a pathetic shit...

When i just came in to college..everything was simple and innocent..everybody is good to you..treat you like their true friends or whatever you call it..but when time goes by, you will realize that everything is just from the surface..nothing is real...everything is just fake..at the end..you don't know who you can really trust..who you can put your faith on...but of course..there are people who will pull you up and lend you their shoulders...i am really grateful that they are always standing by my side...

After you experience all these, would you still be as innocent as you were one year before?? no..you will be careful and form a shield to protect yourself, you will be constantly guessing who is true to you, you will hide yourself from people you hate, you will do this and do that..because of my lack of experience, i really dont know how to deal with human relationship..especially to those that i dislike and people who wants to hurt you...i will just hide myself and swallow everything down..that is stupid i know..but it takes time for me to learn how to deal with all these crap..let me deal with it slowly..

Now...what i want is not to be so stubborn and let everything to influent me physically and mentally...i just want to be happy go lucky..happy...happy...

Happy 10th month Anniversary

Happy 10th Month Anniversary to me and Brendan!!! Baby baby..love you love you..muakxx..

For some people, ten months might just seems to be a really short time. For me, who is constantly very sensitive to special dates like this, it was a long long journey. Our journey was crazy, a lot of small and HUGE things happened between us. At one stage, both of us wanted to give up already. But, thank god that we can still make it until today. Actually today is no just some normal anniversary or something, it was one month after we almost broke up. So for me, it is remarkably important.

I know that sometimes i am quite hard to deal with, especially with my emotional swing. I got it from my mother which is not a good thing at all. haha. So, it was hard for him to tolerate it with me, because i know his mood swings like mad as well. When two equally nob people dealing with each other emotional swing, who will win?? Nobody... Who is more stubborn, me. Because i was constantly grabbing his mistake without letting go. Egoistic. Guys always have their ego with them, but for me..my egoistic was ahem..equally as high as guys. so..TIE...haha...

I am not trying to show the whole world what kind of bad and terrible couple we are, but just trying to say that each couple have their own way of communicating with each other. For me and Brendan, only both of us know how to deal with each other.

For now, i am really happy. After somebody told me something, it some how changes me. haha..so i really thank him for making me happy again. Not a fake happy, but real happy. keke,,,thanks sui ren.

Soo...whoever who is out there and wanted to know what is happening between me and Brendan, im telling you guys now..----we are doing great..better than ever...

Baby...love you more than anyone...and once again...Happy 10th month Anniversary!!! muakss

Day out with Wai Mae and Eunice!!

Today..Wai Mae and Eunice came up...Damn happy lo..wakaka..Love both of them SOOOOOOO much man...muakxx muakxx...Here are some pictures...

wakaka...im taking picture in the toilet again!!!!yeah!!!

me..pretty wai mae and cutie eunice..love both of you..muakzz

posing in the changing room!!!!keke...wai mae..i know you are sexy..Eunice ar..dun block your face le...

love this picture lo...keke...and this i wanted to buy this dress for orientation night..but then still thinking..haha..

Eunice with her T-shirt that she was damn proud of..haha...me..im posing..kkaka...

here comes the poser again!!! yeah!!!

Love poem from me???

for the past few days, i had posted alot of posts..infact today..3!!!crazy..got nothing much to do..so write lo... haha..i had read something real nice just now....and i wanted to share it in my post...hmm...why cnt i write something nice too..okie..here goes nothing----( ohya..it is 1.36 am in the morning...don't aspect too much ya..keke )..in my favourite pink o..wakaka...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Baby...
Never thought that i would fell so deep...
Never thought that you would mean the world to me...
Never thought that you would be the one who is standing by my side holding my hands...

Baby...
The path that we went throught was rough...
There were times when we were really exhausted and wanted to call it off...
But we still made it through until today..this moment...

Baby...
I hope that in your heart,
I would be the one that you love the most...
I would be the one and only person that will stay in your heart forever...

Baby...
You will always be in my heart...
You will always be the one that had brought me hapiness...and sadness
You will always be the one that i love...

Baby...
Promise me that you will never let me go...
Promise that you would not hurt me anymore...
Promise me that you will love me even more...

Baby...
I promise you that i will trust you even more
I promise you that i would not be emotional all the time
I promise you that i would be stronger and tougher...

Baby...
I really love you with all my hearts and soul...
No matter what happens in the future...
Il always be there for you...
Il always be there to love you...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
okie...so what do you think??? Goosebumps coming out??? Maybe not..My english is not that good...i dont know how to use all those bombastic words..haha..sooo....give me some comments la..haha...hope he will read it someday..can somebody just go and ask Brendan to read my blog!!!!

Sad poems

When there are some beautiful words, there would be some sad and heart breaking poems...these are the ones that i find it quite meaningful and the closest to what i had felt in the past...

Lying To Forget

This lie's become a part of me
For months, I've played this game
Acting like it doesn't hurt
Each time I hear his name
Ignoring what's inside of me
Pretending I've moved on
As if the feelings I once had
For him are somehow gone
Spending each and every day
With happiness and laughs
Forgetting all our memories
Avoiding photographs
But last night when I saw him
For the first time since he left
My heart stopped for a moment...
I couldn't catch my breath
When suddenly it hit me
As the tears started to flow
That even after all this time...
I just can't let him go


Long Distance Relationship

A thousand kisses will never be,
Enough to satisfy my craving heart's plea,
Tommorrow will be the day I love you more,
Than today or yesterday or ever before,
Words and phrases will never do,
What my heart feels so deeply for you,
Deeper and deeper my feelings go,
My head is spinning too and fro,
I want you here, forever and more,
For our hearts to join and together explore,
Our hearts beat and beat as one,
Feel what I'm feeling, it's only begun,Y
et, slowly my desire turns to rage,
My heart feels as though it's within a cage,
You are so close yet so far,
At times like this I wish upon a star,
I wish you were here and not over there,
Yet life is hard as well as unfair,
All I can do is wish and wait,
Until we meet again as that is our fate,
I love you more than my words can say,
And forever my love will grow each passing day,
Until the day I gently hold your face,
I'll wish for that moment as I always do,And I've wished upon a star, so my wish will come true.

beautiful words

There are some beautiful words i just read..

If loving you is a crime. I'd like to be jailed for my whole life, in your heart.

---

If you have 1000 years of age, I just want to have 999 years and 364 days, so I never have to live a day without you

---

When I don't message you.
Doesn't mean.
I forgot about you.
I was just giving you time.
To miss me.

----
My love for you is a journey. Starting at forever and ending at never.

---

Without you my days are "Sadday,"Moanday, "Tearsday, "Wasteday, "Thirstday, "Fightday", and "Shatterday"

---

I opened my wallet and I find it empty, reached into my pocket and found a few coins, searched my heart and I found you!
Then I realized how rich I am.

---

Dear, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? I think, I need to call God because He have lost His most beautiful Angel.

---

Behind your smile, I know there are sorrows.
Behind your laughters, I know there are tears.
But I want you to know that, behind you is me who always care for you.

---

There are 12 Months in a year.
4 weeks in a month.
7 days in a week.
24 Hrs in a day.
But there's only one you in a life time.

Beautiful right??? if somebody wrote something as vibrant as these to me..il just die of happiness..haha...