another emo post

i have been isolating myself sincei came back from KL..why??because i felt that i just some good old rest..im tired of working..so i just spend my time sleeping, eating, cooking for brother, fetching them, watching tv, eating then sleeping again..lame life..and fattening life..but hey!!! i need a rest alright..until today..i suddenly could not stand the boringness anymore..hahaa..i finally online..the reason why im scare to online is..yes..im scare to see him online..because as far as i know him..he should found a new gf already..and im kind of afraid to see that??? and the truth is..i dont know whether it is the truth or not..but im guessing he already found someone..and that sucks..

WHY??? he said he want to concentrate in his studies first..he will put aside his love..hell yeah he will do that..proven that he can not stick to his words..who am i to be angry of him??? who am i?? why am i angry because he is with someone else?? probably because i have not found another one?? probably because i just can not accept the fact the he can just forget about me?? but..what am i doing here??? mad of something that i shouldnt even be thinking about?? screwd it..screwd it...it is so not worth it...

Somebody said im not opening my heart for other people to get in..well..how i wish that i can just delete all those bad memories that we had together..and i can proudly tell everyone that i had finally MOVE ON..completely..i really want to do that..but people..if it is so easy..i would have done it ages ago..i would have just click the delete button and im completely happy and stress free..hey..im talking about it again..(bittery smile...)

i just told sui ren..that im really tired..tired of all these..i just want to meet the right one..the person that will be by my side to love me forever...i just want to meet him..and il love him with all my heart..love him with my everything..i dont want to waste my heart for somebody who doesnt even deserve my love..i dont want to waste my time anymore..people said im too young to have this kind of thinking..you should enjoy the fun of it..yes..i would like to enjoy it..but after this..i dont know how much i can take anymore..im scare..scare that i would be hurt this much again...but anyway..i still believe in love..

and yes people..im almost dying of boredom now..call me out..call me out..hhahahaha..i really need to get out of my coconut shell now..or turtle shell..whatever you call it..haha..and if you guys can..dont remind me about him..im forgeting him now..yes..this time i would..