...

Yea..guess it is the best way to end it..

like a stabbing a sword into my heart..

and cut it into million and billion slices..

i felt numb now..

i let myself cried for him again..

i still let myself being torture by him emotionally..

Though i said i will hate him

but deep down in my heart..

i know that i cant..

i just cant hate him..

because i used to love him so much..

i will still defend him some how in some way..

im a jerk..

a self torturing idiot..

im not a so good looking girl

i know i have difficulities in controlling my feelings now

i know that im not that funny after all

i know that im damn freaking blur and stupid

i praised myself at times just for the sake of making myself feeling better

i like to make myself emo

i have alot of flaws people

and im not afraid to tell the whole world about it

Because i am who i am

i just need somebody

Somebody who can understands me

to tolerate with all my flaws

who can be there when i need you

to be there to hug me when i cry

to understand why i cry

that is what i needed in a bf

not somebody who break every single thing that i mention

and hurt me million and billion times

il stand up by myself again this time

and there will be a day when i can really smile from my heart again..