When I think back of the things that I had done this year, the only thing that cross my mind was--training. My first General Training and My Specialisation training. These two trainings had really drained me out like hell, giving me a glimpse of what my future life would be - which can be scary at times. Working in this industry is definitely tiring and most probably your soul would be sucked out. Why still choosing this tiring line? Most probably because I can picture myself in the future. This is where my passion lies and where I would like to work for atleast 3o years?? haha. Personally, a lot of things had happened throughout my training. Mostly unhappy memories and something that I would like to forget as fast as possible. But I will talk about it later in my relationship.
College was fine and alright. A lot of conflicts happened. Some still in the mist of coldwar, some settled and became friends, some are still enemies. College life is like that..and it can be very scary at times. Fakers and pretenders around you, trying to woo you but back stab you from the back. Being blur as always killed me and it did save me from alot of conflicts. There are things that I were unaware of and did something that leads to misunderstanding. I am sorry but I will try and be more alert next time. I just hope that everything will be fine when I come back from holidays next year. I really miss the three chipmunks. I hope that when everything is fine and back to normal, we can finally go back to El cerdo and have our nice little dinner. Cross my fingers. My results were quite consistent I think, not too good and not too bad. But I will defintely try my best best during my finals. If Max can really be my jury, I will make sure that he will be surprise. In order to make him feeling 'wow', I need to kick my butt and work harder.
Family wise. This year has not been a really good year as my grandmother passed away earlier this year. It was a shocker for me at that time, and I still can't really believe that she is gone. We still call my grandparents house 'ah ma jia'. It has been like that since long time ago, and it will still be. But that house will be quite empty next year as my uncle will be moving out. Left my grandfather and Aunt in that small little house. Now, most of my families had move on with our own lives, which is a good thing..I just hope that nothing bad will happen in the future..
I think this is probably the part where most of the people will read?? Relationship. Well. what should I say. The things that I wanted to say, I already spilled it all out in my past posts. But I should say, I experienced alot of things that I did not experienced in the past. Some devastates me, and some makes me smile at night. As I said before, I do not hate him. At all circumstances, I dont. No matter what happen in the future, I will not hate him. He taught me a lot of things. and he help me through alot of shits that had happened to me throughout the year. Ofcourse, he gave me quite a bits of kick himself. As for him, I do not know whether he had learned anything from me. If he did, he wont tell me anyway. ^^ It is good enough that he knew it in the bottom of his heart and keep it inside. I would not say that I knew him through and through, but I can say, I knew him enough. I am a crying baby. I cried alot and alot this year. Some how, I cant control my tears anymore, which is bad.haha. Anyway, no matter what happens in the future, I just want him to stay happy. If he is happy, I will be happy. Yes, this is how much he affected me until now. Some might say your happiness can not depend on him. Part of me will agree with it, part of me will not. So yea. You guys might say that he is a jerk or something, but deep down inside me he is a good person. That is what I choose to believe and this is what I will believe. Maybe he still love that someone, maybe he doesnt. I would not know. But if I stand in his shoes, I guess it will be the same. That is the question I wanted to know the answer myself. I will complain and I will curse, but in the end, all my anger will go away. The least that I want to do is to make him angry for something small. I am a person who thinks alot. I mean really alot. Some of my thoughts will really kill me if I dont back out. I guess I need to learn how to not think so much in the future. The thing that I learn is, everyone has their own little secret. If that little secret can make you happy, then why must dig in and find out about the truth. Ofcourse, if that small little secret will cause a change in the future, that my friend, will lead to destruction.
Alright. My mind already stop at this moment. I think I will continue in the future. so thats all for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment