The B factor

Forgiving is probably the hardest thing to do in this whole world..

Received an awkward call yesterday...

When I saw the name..I really dont know what should i do..

Whether i should pick up the phone or hang the phone..

In the end..i picked up the phone..

It is not a really awkward situation actually..

Ofcourse it is not about relationship and dadada..

Just asking whether I am free today..for a gathering...asking where am I and things..

It is a really short phone call..but it sets me on thinking..

If i have a choice...i might have said this

'You bloody b**ch..you think i still want to see you after all this shit that i faced from you..You think I still want to be in the same room or space with you..you bloody idiot..just stay away from me..BAH..'

Ofcourse i did not..

I said in a very nice tone...

'Oh..i am having my exams now..maybe after my exams..Im in KL now..exam finishing in one week..we shall see lo later..okay? bye bye'

URGHH...

I really feel like slapping myself sometimes..If i have a guts and courage..tiger heart or bear palm's or whatever it is to make me stronger..i might have just curse it all out..because i really had a hard hard time with her..Maybe she did not realize that..because this is her you are talking about..she has always been like that..nothing to change and i have no intention to...mine my own problem right???

In another hand..i really feel like having a peace peace situation..well..maybe il just pretend that im really cool..

'oh hey...how are you..long time din't hear from you 

( yea right..i know almost everything about you you bitch..)

 

how are you and your bf??good?? 

( yea right..got problem then go and find for another back up plan, babi) .

.so nice to see you...

( yea right bitch..i hope i will never see you again..)..'

OKAY..it is not cool at all..not at all..haha..who can be cool anyway..im sorry to say..but me not..i can look super cool outside..but inside..im burning HOT..

'Who the hell you think you are?? trying to gain other people's care or whatever shit it is by twisting the truth which leads to misunderstanding between others..guess what will other feel about it?? Being accused for something that I did not do..and making the trust no longer there..thinking that I am the ultra bitch trying to trun everyone against you..OH CRAP..NONSENSE..'

Yes..It has been awhile..but i just hate being mislabled for something that I did not do..and i have to suffer the consequences..that is SHIT..

Maybe I should just be forgiving and let it be..Yes..she is just she..i cant change anything about it..and I dont have to be you..atleast I know my limits and know what I should do..I dont want to hurt anyone..and that is the differences between me and you..Maybe we can just be a hi-bye friend..but who cares..