Water and Insomnia

I know I will sound very siew jie if I say this..but I don't care...I HATE COLD WATER!!! or wait...I should say..I AM SCARE OF COLD WATER...3 months in NS with cold water was a huge disaster for me..I hate being sticky and I hate being cold at the same time...in NS..every morning..you have to go for perbarisan and also PE after that..of course you will sweat right??? right after that, you will have to go for morning class...and I hate being sticky and uncomfy...so die die also must bath..

Bath nevermind..the water in the morning is like freaking cold...honestly..I had been screaming for the three whole months in the camp because of cold water..not screaming to be exact...but..a little softer than screaming..=) even when I was in Kuantan, I never fail to scream....fine..the purpose of me saying this is...there was no hot water for me just now because of low water pressure and I had to bath cold water...you know what I did?? i take some water to get myself warm up first..test it on my leg first..cold~~~ test it on my hands...cold~~~ sprinkle a bit of water on my tummy..cold~~~ then finally let's go..COLD!!!!! #()$*#()$*

I just don't like to bath in cold water..though i felt very good now...=) problem la girls...

Going for my second last exam shortly..which is Food and Beverage practical exams...confident?? I don't know..haha..it should be my strongest subject among all and definitely pulled my overall score way up..but I know I can not get loosen up because final is final..there is no turning back...which makes me even more terrified and stressed..I know lecturers expectation would be higher than trials...but can i perform better than trials...oh my...just need to take a deep breath and step into the workshops...pray hard I can do well...

Tomorrow kitchen...though I am not a culinary based student...but am not really worried about it..if I don't know how to do it...hentam only...haha...the most important thing is it is edible and you can finish it on time..no fancy fancy dishes..but dishes that I can play safe with..

I don't know whether it is the exam stress or what...but I can go blank for a long time..and all out of sudden..I can think a hell load of a stuffs...Its like okay..your mind is not thinking about anything at all before exam...other people freaking out..you are just so calm and relax...its not that I have a lot of confident..but my mind is just blank and I can not picture myself in the exam mode yet..or at least once I step into the room..once I am in the room...automatically tuned into battle mode..I should do that for my practical later yea..at least I would not get butterflies..=)

I don't like to get insomnia..I hate it..hate it so much...because once you can not sleep..all your senses will be awake...you will hear even the slightest sound around you..anything that is moving around you...and your mind is just so awake that you can not stop yourself from thinking...everything will go wrong once you start thinking in the middle of the night..even the most right thing will seems to be wrong...and yes..I will cry because of the slightest thing...I know I am such a baby...maybe because after I cried..my eyes will feel tired and It will help me into sleeping later on..I don't know..told you I am a weird girl..then once I start falling asleep..I still dream of me can not sleep...then I heard some noises around me...forced my eyes to open and I thought I saw a creepy clown smiling at me..shock me to hell..and here goes again..trying to make myself sleep from the start again...urghhh...

Am sorry for the self-conflict-can-not-sleep-so-dont-know-what-to-do incident...yes..I felt like I am really a baby now...oh so childish...thanks for calming me down though...muakxxx..me love you...

Alright..got to get myself ready for exam now..good luck to us....time to B~~~~ someone...=) <3