Do you trust me?

Woke up this morning with a shrieking sound of neighbor shouting two doors or maybe three doors away..Seriously? Do you need to shout your lungs out to show how angry you are at whoever it is in the morning? It was not only once, but at least once in a month you will hear them shouting at each other. What's with people and shouting nowadays?

It is a once in a blue moon thing when you spill everything out from A-Z and it is never boring to do so. Understanding a person takes time with a lot of digging involved. Some say may the past stay in the past, but knowing we girls ( or maybe me only ) with our itchy hands and thoughts that are constantly going everywhere, surely we will be curious. And we wonder, why guys are not curious about our past? I guess that is the biggest difference between a guy and a girl.

I used to get stung by the thought of it and will wind about it myself when I heard about it in the past, but now, I seems to be able to take it as a joke other than a wound that is planted in my heart. I don't get chilly hands and emotional roller coaster because of it anymore.

I said, it took two damn years to crush all the trust that I ever had and at the same time, planted the insecurity seed in me. Can you take that same amount of time to built that trust wall and deseed the insecurity in me? 


He said, Yes, and I did.


I may still have some little bad habits from before, and slowly, I am learning to let it go. And I must agree with him, that yes, I am changing from my past.

I realize, I am pretty transparent person. or should I say, I am a very cruel person. haha. Because once over, as heartless and I sound, things that should be deleted, will be deleted. Nothing was left, unless the things that I had forgotten and was hidden at some secret corner. haha. It is not only deleted, the recycle bin will be emptied right after I press the delete button. I don't even keep things as remembrance. So ya, if you see my lappie or external, my cupboard or whatever ( oh yes, my mum just spring clean my room in Seremban..barely anything left..haha), you won't find my past at all because there is no past. I won't even hide anything, because if you ask me, I will surely answer you. And if I lie, you would have known because I suck at lying.

I asked, Why do you trust me so much?

Answered, Because you are too good of a person to lie to me?


hahaha..okay, fine that is cheating..I forgotten what B said last night and I asked him again just now. What he said initially was,

Because I trust you? 


*Keep staring at B and waiting for a different answer*


You look at my face also I can not answer you other than saying I trust you. =p


But I am suppose to write it down now...


Ohhhhh..okay, because you are too good of a person to lie to me =p


Oh yay! *type type type*


I guess it is the same as asking, what do you love about me? Love can not be describe by words and different people interpret love differently. So if I say love is this and that, you may not agree with me because everyone loves differently. Same goes to trust, it is like trusting your guts and putting yourself on the gamble table. You want to know what you will get, so you bet. Either you will win big or you will loose big. That explains why people like to use break up as a bet. They want to know whether that person cares about you deep enough to ask you back. If yes, your trust to that person will boast up 100 percent, if no, nothing left but regrets and tears.

So if people ask you, do you trust that person or not. If yes, why did you answer yes? What makes you trust that person? Either you had tested it in some way, or you just simply trust your guts.But if the answer is no, it is very simple, because that person had hurt you so much and lied to you in the past. And so, you don't trust that person anymore.

I don't know whether I am making sense here or not. The weather is too hot for me to think properly so I blurted out everything that is in my brains. Sorry If you had wasted your time reading some nonsense. haha. Anyways, writing this had warm me up to start my *tut~~~* so off I go now. Have a great weekend people! =)