Since I start my Higher Diploma, most of the people that I hang out with are guys.Don't ask me why really, I just get along with them I guess? I think they are also use to the fact that I am the only girl in the gang ( Besides Mischa who lari to France dy =p ) . I myself 'sur un coup de tete' ( did not think much ) and went to Kuantan for my last training with 7 guys for two months. @@ Seriously, that time I really did not think much and just feel like running away. Opps. And I just found out the things they do behind my back..YER~~~ hahahaha.
Hanging out with guys recently means I get to know and understand them a bit more. Probably everyone thinks I am the naive one in the past so they don't really expose me to all these 'knowledge'. Now slowly, bits by bits I started to learn more and I am not surprise really, but I started to tell myself that ' Hey, guys are like that. ' Conflict with my personal belief yes, emo of course, but hey, thats life and the reality. So no matter what it is, I have to be understanding.
If it was the me in the past, I would have been emo for the entire day and kept it as a 'silent bomb' in my heart that will explode at any time without thinking of a solution. And I would just blame the other half.
As for now, I think I grew up a little and manage to hold myself back. Seriously, reconsidering the emo-me in the past, I am doing great now okay? haha. If you do read my blog frequently, you should know how emo I was in the past and how different I am now. I am a very transparent person when it comes to writing my blog because everything I write, is what I do. I think I should give myself a credit for being able to control myself and being a little more mature. Though I know I was being childish earlier. Urgh! Stupid me!
Learning how to stand in his shoes and think slowly, and learning to understand 'manlogy' more. haha. I said before right, I like to look at girls more than guys? haha So when we were walking around college, I will say, ' ohh, this girl is pretty tall '..then everyone will start looking and started to analyze it. I seriously can not believe I am doing this with them! hahaha. By being closer with them, I started to realize many many things. Whether I had digested it or not, hmmm, give me more time and I will learn slowly.
Many things I said I will learn slowly, when I say slowly, means really S-L-O-W. haha. After all, I have to fight with the feminism in myself and adapting it with man-ism. It is not easy really. So please bear with me, as I am still learning. =) Sorry if I did something that my action defies what I said ( Sitting facing my cupboard is something new really, and I seriously don't know why I did that! hahaha. When I think back of it, I felt really
stupid! =p ) And please forgive me for my stupidity. =)
After all, I am not a perfect girl. I have flaws, and you know, that is my biggest flaw. Sorry for you who have to bear with it. Nevertheless, I love you lots.
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